The Bible study ended, but the Lord wasn't through with me. The Sunday evening before Watchman Nee's departure for Hong Kong and England, six of us gathered around the fireplace in a missionary couple's home. We had met in such an informal way several times before. Usually a large number of Westerners were present, eating and fellowshipping together, listening eagerly to Brother Nee as he spoke in fluent English concerning the kingdom or as he answered questions relating to his messages on the Holy Spirit. Once there swept over me the deep inner sense: God is standing here speaking!
This occasion afforded him his last opportunity to share his burden before going abroad. He began, "I want to say something more about the kingdom." During the course of his speaking, he uttered these words: "The Lord needs heralds for the kingdom." At that moment something happened to me, and Watchman Nee, being aware of it, said, "Don't be afraid, Miss Peck." Simply by the power of the Lord's speaking, I was changed into another person. Praise the Lord for such a faithful, humble, and approachable servant of His.
There are also other recollections of very practical and considerate expressions of loving concern: the day Watchman and Mrs. Nee dropped in with a silk wadded comforter for each of us missionaries; several invitations to their home for delicious dinners featuring Foochow delicacies; the conversation after a serious wrong decision on my part, and the comforting reply, "Sometimes even our mistakes are right."
During the period from 1940 to early 1943, there were changes in the church life. We began to meet in smaller groups in different areas of the city for the Lord's table and prayer meetings. Watchman Nee usually ministered on Sunday mornings, Wednesday evenings, and sometimes to the new believers on Friday nights, as well as during special conferences. I remember that he frequently referred to Margaret E. Barber, through whom he received so much help in his early Christian life. The ministry of the Word was life-giving, and many impressions were so deeply implanted as to be unforgettable. One example is his comment on Romans 12:1-2: "God's will is not for those who are unconsecrated. It is a question of what sort of person I am. Am I qualified to know His will? All good is not God's will, but God's will is always good." And this word to the new believers: "Salvation without consecration is like a railway with only one track. We need both to advance on the spiritual road." Also this word on John 14:6: "How many truths do you know that have emancipated you? The truth is Christ; so if truth is only 'truth' to you, it is ineffectual."
One message on the will of God left me overwhelmed. It portrayed the will of God from eternity in the past to eternity in the future. The essence of what he said was this: In the beginning there was only one will—God's undisputed will. Then Satan fell, and in the universe there was a second will—a rebellious will. Later God created man with a free will, able to choose to be one either with God or with Satan. In eternity future, after Satan has been cast into the lake of fire, there will again be only one will in the universe—but a will not the same as in the beginning, for God's will and man's will will be perfectly blended into one will.
Sometime in 1942 Watchman Nee's ministry ceased. Since we were not always aware of his movements or his engagements in other places, it did not seem strange at first. As the weeks passed, though I did not know that he had been asked not to minister at Hardoon Road, I began to sense an undercurrent. The day also came when the Westerners were asked not to attend the meetings. Whether or not this was due to the Japanese occupation and the fear that we might be accused of spying, I do not know. We were always delighted when Brother Nee would visit us unexpectedly in those days. Since at this time he was involved with the CBC Laboratories, we received a personally conducted tour through the company. No matter how others may have felt during that time of his "tentmaking," we had nothing but trust and confidence in his leading. How could we pass judgment on him? It was because of his faithfulness in following the Lord and proclaiming His Word that several of us had been brought into the glorious church life.