After being saved, Watchman Nee had a strong desire to serve the Lord. Although still in high school, he longed to be trained by Dora Yu in Shanghai. His mother agreed, and Dora Yu accepted him into her Bible school. However, because he had certain habits of which she did not approve, such as sleeping late, Dora Yu decided not to keep him. On one occasion she sent him to deliver mail to the downtown post office in Shanghai. Because of the long distance and the poor condition of the road, it took him longer than she expected. She assumed that he had gone to some amusement, which was actually not the case. But she dismissed him, and he returned home and finished his two years of college.
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After being saved, I continued on in school, though I had little interest in books. Others read novels in class, but I diligently studied the Bible. Later, desiring to pursue spiritual things further, I left school and entered Dora Yu's Bible Institute in Shanghai. However, before long she politely dismissed me, and I returned home. The reason she gave for her action was that it was inconvenient for me to stay there any longer. I realized that my flesh had not been dealt with. I was still fond of good food and fine clothing, and I enjoyed sleeping until eight o'clock in the morning. Dora Yu felt I was good material for the Lord's interest and had good prospects, but when she discovered my laziness, she sent me home.
At that time I was thoroughly disappointed and felt my future was doomed. At that time I even questioned my salvation. But surely I was saved! I even considered that I was quite good and that I had been transformed in many ways, not realizing that there was much yet to be learned and much to be dealt with. Confident that the Lord had saved me and called me, I could not be disappointed. I admitted that I was not yet good enough, but I felt that with the passing of more time I would improve.
Since the time was not ripe for me to continue my spiritual pursuits, I decided to return to school. When my schoolmates saw me, they recognized that I had changed, but I had not changed thoroughly, for I still occasionally lost my temper and did some things wrong. There were times when I seemed very much like a saved person, but at other times I seemed very much like an unsaved person.
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