Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, do not vex your children, that they may not be disheartened.” Provoking children to anger damages them by stirring up their flesh. It is always destructive for parents to be angry with their children. Not provoking children’s anger requires the fathers’ anger to be dealt with by remaining on the cross. In this way fathers are able to render suitable discipline to their children. The only way we can keep from losing our temper is to stay on the cross. In dealing with our children’s wrongdoings or misbehavior, we first must go to the cross and stay there. Otherwise, we will lose our temper, and this loss of temper will provoke our children’s anger.
Instead of provoking the children to anger, fathers should nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. To nurture children means to bring them up, to raise them, by nourishing them. Raising children requires that the parents give them needed instruction related to human life, family life, and social life. The word admonition includes instruction. Paul was probably referring to the Old Testament requirement that parents instruct their children with the word of God (Deut. 6:7). This means that we are to teach our children with the Bible. Along with instruction, we must sometimes discipline them, chastise them. It is crucial that parents learn to nurture the children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:5 says, “Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as to Christ.” In the apostle’s time, slaves were purchased by their masters, and their masters had the right over their lives. Some slaves and some masters became brothers in the church. As brothers in the church, they were equal and without distinction, but in their homes, those who were slaves still had to obey the brothers who were their masters according to flesh.
Paul exhorts the slaves to obey with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as to Christ. Fear is the inward motive for service, and trembling is the outward attitude. Singleness means to be pure in motive, having a single purpose. Slaves are to be single in this way; they should not have a double purpose; that is, they should not serve their masters with the intention of receiving some gain for themselves.
Slaves are to be in obedience to their masters as to Christ. This means that slaves are to regard their masters as if they were the Lord. The relationship between slaves and masters is a type of our relationship with Christ, our Master. We should obey Him as a slave in singleness of heart.
Verses 6 and 7 say, “Not with eye-service as men-pleasers but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the soul; with good will serving as slaves, as serving the Lord and not men.” If a brother in slavery stands in his position and obeys his master, he is a slave of Christ in the eyes of the Lord, he is doing the will of God, and his service is to the Lord, not to men. Such a slave does the will of God from the soul. From the soul equals from the heart, from the inner being. This means to serve not only with the physical body but with the heart. Slaves should serve “as to the Lord and not to men” (Col. 3:23). This indicates that Paul’s intention was to direct slaves to the Lord. His desire was that they would learn to serve their masters as to the Lord.
The admonition Paul gives to slaves in Colossians 3:22-23 is very similar to Ephesians 6:5-7. In Colossians 3:24 he says, “Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as recompense. You serve the Lord Christ.” There is an inheritance for the believers (Rom. 8:17; Acts 26:18; 1 Pet. 1:4). The inheritance as recompense indicates that the Lord uses the inheritance which He will give His believers as an incentive so that they may be faithful in their service to Him. The unfaithful ones will surely miss this reward (Matt. 24:45-51; 25:20-29).