Both Ephesians 5:25 and Colossians 3:19 say that husbands should love their wives. The opposite of subjection is ruling. However, Paul does not exhort husbands to rule over their wives but to love them. In married life, the wife’s obligation is to be subject and the husband’s obligation is to love. A wife’s subjection plus a husband’s love constitutes a proper married life and typifies the normal church life in which the church is subject to Christ and Christ loves the church.
By being filled in spirit and saturated by the word of Christ, husbands will love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). A husband’s love for his wife must be like Christ’s love for the church. This means that a husband should give himself up for his wife. To give oneself up is to sacrifice one’s life. Husbands should love their wives at such a cost to themselves. They must be willing to pay a great price, even to die for their wives.
Ephesians 5:28 says, “In the same way the husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his own wife loves himself.” In this verse Paul twice speaks of husbands loving their own wives. This indicates that a husband is to love his wife without comparing her to others. Not only so, husbands should love their own wives as their own bodies. A husband should regard his wife as part of his body and care for her as his own body.
Verse 29 says, “No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ also the church.” We show love for our body by nourishing and cherishing it. To nourish is to feed. Spiritually speaking, husbands should nourish their wives. Just as we eat for the sake of our body, a husband needs to nourish his wife, to take care of her need, just as he takes care of the need of his own body. This is the meaning of nourishes in verse 29.
Husbands should also love their wives as their own bodies by cherishing their wives. To cherish is to nurture with tender love and foster with tender care. To cherish something is to care for it deeply and tenderly. It is to soften it through tender warmth. This is the way Christ cares for the church, His Body. This should also be the way for husbands to love their wives. Here we see the depth of love that a husband must have for his wife.
Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Colossians 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing in the Lord.” The children of the believers are not common. They are different from the children of people in the world. Therefore, the children in the families of believers are exhorted to obey their parents in the Lord.
The phrase in the Lord indicates obedience to the parents by being one with the Lord. It also indicates that this should be done not by self-effort but by the Lord, and not according to the natural concept but according to the Lord’s word. The children of believers should realize that they are to obey their parents by being one with the Lord. Moreover, they obey their parents not by their own strength but by the Lord Himself. Their obedience is according to the Lord’s word, according to the Scriptures.
Ephesians 6:2-3 says, “‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with a promise, ‘that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.’” This is not only the first commandment with a promise but also the first commandment concerning man’s relationship with man (Exo. 20:12). The promise in verse 3 is that it may be well with the children and that they may live long on the earth. The first part of the promise is related to prosperity in material blessing; it also refers to living in a peaceful situation. The second part is related to longevity. According to this commandment, prosperity and longevity are God’s blessings in this life to those who honor their parents.