I received the Lord’s calling in 1925, but it was not until eight years later that I had the boldness to give up my job to enter into fulltime service for the Lord. In August, 1933, the Lord had raised up things in my environment to force me to drop my job. I was pressed not only outwardly but also inwardly. I was burdened because of the need around me, and I was pressed because of the Lord’s pleasure in my spirit. There was real pleasure within my spirit at the prospect of giving up my job. However, at that time, thirty-six years ago, in my part of the country there was no such thing as anyone taking this way of serving the Lord without being hired by anyone or supported by any organization. It was rather hard to contemplate such a venture.
During that month there was a real struggle going on within me. Inwardly, I was pressed and bothered to the point that I felt I could not go on, even I could not live, if I did not give up that job; nevertheless, I did not dare to do it. To me that little job was just like the little boat to Peter. If I gave up the boat, I would be the second Peter to jump into the sea. Therefore, I had decided that I would not be that foolish; I would keep the little boat. In the first three weeks of August I was extremely troubled and perplexed, and I was having a very difficult time in my struggle with the Lord over this matter.
After the church prayer meeting on Wednesday, August 23, I went to my study room and was alone there with the Lord until midnight. At a certain point I found it impossible to pray. It was as if the Lord said to me, “We’re through talking. If you take this way, take it. If you don’t take it, that’s all; I am finished with you. I am through with you.” I did not say “Amen” to my prayer. With tears I simply said, “All right, I take it.” That was all.
The next day I submitted my resignation from my job, and the following day I received a letter from Manchuria inviting me to go there. This was my first invitation to go to a distant place to minister the Word of the Lord. That was a definite confirmation of my decision. But notice what followed. When I returned from Manchuria in the middle of September, there was a letter waiting for me at home. It was dated August 17, just the middle of those three weeks during which I was struggling with the Lord. The letter was written by Brother Watchman Nee. He had written it on board ship while on the Mediterranean Sea on his way from England back to China, and it reached me the middle of September, after I returned from my trip to Manchuria for the Lord’s ministry.
The letter was brief. We were not in the habit of corresponding with one another, and a long time had elapsed since we had last heard from one another. Within a year’s time we may have written to each other once or twice. All of a sudden such a short letter came to me, written at exactly the time I was struggling with the Lord. I could never forget what it said. “Dear Brother Witness, As to your future, I feel you have to serve the Lord with your full time. How do you feel? May the Lord lead you.”
I was excited and full of joy! I said, “Lord, You are too gracious to me. This is the second confirmation.” Two letters confirmed my resignation from my job, first the one from Manchuria, and then the one from Brother Nee.
On the day I received that letter I made the decision to go to Shanghai to see Brother Nee and find out why he wrote that letter. He told me that one day while on the Mediterranean, he was with the Lord concerning the Lord’s move and His recovery in China. During that time he had a deep realization within him that he must write me that letter. In this way the Lord spoke to two persons far removed from one another concerning the same matter.
I long to see things like this happening among us again and again. In the past, I have seen this kind of thing. In the Lord’s service, any kind of arrangement, any kind of organizing, is a handicap to the Lord’s move. We all need to avoid frustrations of this kind. Therefore, we need to learn to pray.