Only God can satisfy a believer's heart. Human beings cannot satisfy the believer's heart. Many believers fail simply because they seek in man that which can only be found in God. Human love is nothing but vanity; only God's love can satisfy the desires of a believer. If he seeks affection outside of God, his spiritual condition will immediately deteriorate. He can only live by God's love.
In view of this, do we not need to love anyone? If we look at the Bible's repeated charge to love our brothers and our enemies, we know it is not God's intention that we not love others; rather, He wants to direct our love. He wants us to love others not for ourselves, but for Him and also in Him. Our natural goodness and wickedness have no place here. Natural affection also loses its power. God wants us to be directed by Him because we love Him. When He wants us to love a certain person, we can obey; when He wants us to terminate our relationship with a certain person, we can also obey.
This is the life of the cross. Only when we have the Holy Spirit deeply applying the work of the cross in us and causing us to experience the putting to death of the soul-life can we lose the self in our affections. When we have really passed through death, we will not be attached to anyone; we will be guided only by God's commands. When our soul-life goes through this step, it loses its power as if it has died in the matter of affection. Then God can instruct us on how to begin anew to love others in Him. God wants us to have new relationships in Him with those whom we loved in the past. Every natural relationship should be terminated. We should pass through death so that we may begin the relationships anew in the realm of resurrection.
What a difficult life this seems to be to the believer! Only those who really live this way know what a blessing this is! God often "strips" the believer of his loved ones because of the believer's consecration or for the benefit of the believer. God will either work to make our heart submissive, or He will strip us of what we love. When He uses the latter method, He causes our loved ones to change in their love toward us, or He causes the environment to hinder us from loving them. Perhaps our loved one has gone on a far journey, perhaps he has deceased, or perhaps there are other circumstances. If our consecrated heart is honest before God, God will strip us of everything until we have only Him left. If the believer wants to obtain a real spiritual living, he must willingly abandon all that is dear to him. God requires anything that conflicts with a heart that loves Him to be abandoned. The spiritual life does not allow our affection to be scattered and wandering. In God's eyes, our love, whether wrong in its motive, excessiveness, or goal, is just as wrong as our hatred. In the sight of God, the love that comes out of our self is just as dirty as hatred.
When a believer goes through such a time, he will see how pure his heart is in loving others. There is nothing of the self mixed in it. All of his heart is for God and also in God. Although he loved others in the past, he loved himself even more, considering himself more important than others. Now he can share in other's happiness and sorrow, bearing their burdens and serving them with love. He will not love what he loves but what God wants him to love. He will not love himself more than others but others as himself. Since he loves himself in God and for God, he also loves others in God and for God. Therefore, he can love others as himself.
Believers should know that letting God direct their affection is an essential prerequisite to their spiritual growth. How uncontrollable our affection is! If it is not subdued under God's purpose, there is a possibility of endangering our spiritual life at any time. It is easy to correct wrong thinking, but it is hard to handle wrong affection. We should love the Lord with all our heart, allowing Him to direct our love.