It is very hard for many sinners to confess that they are sinners before they are saved. Although many sinners are truly sinners in the view of others, they themselves do not feel like sinners. They will know how sinful and how wicked they are only when the light of God comes. The self-reproof produced by the light of God will cause them to feel that there is no hiding place. Many sinners know that they have sins. They feel this in their hearts and confess this with their mouths. To others, these people seem to have the wisdom of self-knowledge. But when the Holy Spirit sheds forth God's light, they realize that the sins which they have confessed are only superficial and that they do not hate sins the same way as God. After this enlightenment they will utterly feel that their sins are deplorable and that they need to seek deliverance. Let me add a word here: those of us who labor in the work of God must not convince others of their sins by our arguments; rather, we can only ask the Holy Spirit to do the work of reproving people of their sins. All kinds of self-examinations are equally shallow, inadequate, and erroneous. Only the light of God can cause man to see the picture of his true self as God sees him.

As Christians, day by day we know ourselves not through self-examination but through the light of God. When the light of God shines upon us, we will realize that we are corrupt to the uttermost. Perhaps we express much love to others. But when the light of God shines, we see that we have not loved others enough. We see that we are still short in many ways toward others. We gain many people and consider our work to be successful. But when the light of God shines, we realize that our works are nothing but the works of the flesh. They are vain and unprofitable. We begin to know that our works have not been done by God. Many times we think that we are doing the will of God wholeheartedly and that we are not seeking after anything for ourselves; but, when the light of God shines, we realize that we are not obeying the will of God. I once asked Miss Barber concerning her experience in obeying the will of God. She said, "Every time that God delays telling me His will, then I reckon that within me there is still a heart unwilling to obey the will of God. Within me there must still be an improper aim. I realized this from many experiences." When we seek the will of God and do not find an answer, we should ask God to search us to see if there is any unwillingness within us. When the light of God shines, we will see the inward situation. We think that we do not have any unwillingness within to obey God. But we are cheated by our own selves. When we wash our face, do we examine ourselves to see if there is white powder, black spots, or dirty mud on our faces, or do we look into the mirror to find out? If we want to know ourselves, we should not think about how we are, but ask for the shining of God's light. Only then will we know our condition. Many times we think that our intention is not wrong, but when God's light shines upon us, we realize how much selfishness, self provision, and even unrighteousness is within us. Without God's shining, we think our living is still acceptable. But when it is shined upon by God, we realize that we have failed. In the light of God, we can then see light.

The difference between a deep Christian and a shallow Christian hinges upon how much of the light of God they have received and whether it is permanent or temporary. Under the light of God, one sees black as black and white as white. The shallow Christian sees his shortages on a certain point only when he is exposed by God at a particular time. The deep Christian is constantly under God's shining, and he knows himself. Some of us here may have the following experience: we see a young Christian talking about his love for the Lord and how he has consecrated everything to the Lord. But we feel that he does not know what he is talking about. He still does not know how difficult it is to be consecrated to God and what the result of that consecration will be in the future. He only speaks according to his feeling at that moment.

This is like the Lord Jesus' response to James and John when they asked the Lord Jesus: "Grant to us to sit, one on Your right and one on Your left, in Your glory. But Jesus said to them, You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup which I drink, or to be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized? And they said to Him, We are able" (Mark 10:37-39). They did not know how deep and far-reaching were the things included in these two sentences. They hastily replied, "We are able." When we do not have the light of God, we are like these two disciples. We do not know how weak we are, and we do not know the extent of God's requirement upon us. We think we are able in everything. When the light of God shines, then we know that in many matters of spiritual truth, all we are saying are just words. We do not understand the meaning of them at all.