Not only is there no teaching in the Bible concerning self-examination and not only do our experiences tell us that we are incapable of examining ourselves, but also there is even great harm to our spiritual living if we examine ourselves. Self-examination will produce two kinds of results: either self-contentment or discouragement. When someone feels that he is quite good after self-examination, he becomes self-contented; when one feels that he is wrong after self-examination, he is discouraged. There is not a third result in addition to self-contentment and discouragement. God has taught me to know that no one can truly know himself through self-examination.
Hebrews 12:2 says: "Looking away unto Jesus..." In the original language between looking and Jesus there are some small words. We must translate it as "Looking away—unto Jesus." This means in order for you to look unto, you must first look away. You must first look away from what you should not be looking at; then you can look unto what you should. In Chinese we have an idiom "looking away completely," [Editor's Note: Wang Duan]. Therefore, I think this clause may be translated as "looking away completely—unto Jesus." Our spiritual living is based upon looking unto Jesus and not on turning back to ourselves. If we do not obey the command of the Bible to look unto Jesus but instead turn to look inside ourselves, we will suffer much spiritually. I have already said before that introspection—ourselves analyzing ourselves and our own feeling, intention, and thought—is most harmful. Griffith Thomas said, "There is now a common saying that if you look at yourself once, you must then look at Christ ten times. But I think this must be changed to look at Christ eleven times and do not look at yourself even once."
Two years ago I read a poem which was a fable. There was a centipede talking with a toad. The toad asked the centipede, "You have so many legs, how do you walk? Which leg do you move forward first when you walk?" The centipede then tried to determine which leg moved forward first when it walked. No matter how hard it tried, it could not set its feet right. Afterward it became tired and said, "I don't care, I'm leaving." When it started to go, it again thought of which leg to move first and this inhibited it from taking any step. After a while sunshine came through the clouds. When the centipede saw the rays, it became very happy and ran toward the sun, forgetting all about the stepping order of so many legs. Thus it was able to move once more. This fable is just a picture of our Christian living. The more we turn and look back, the more we cannot move and the more we retrogress. When we look at the light of the Lord, unconsciously we move forward.
Several years ago I read an article in an English magazine called The Overcomers which talked about very deep spiritual matters. The title of the article was "What Is Self?" The writer said, "Self is nothing other than one reflecting on oneself and one considering oneself." This sentence is truly deep and real. The time that our selves are active is when we turn and think of ourselves. We must remember that the soul is the feeling of the self. After the Welsh revival, there was a college professor who went to see the revivalist Mr. Roberts. The professor spent one day with him and talked with him about many questions. After he left, he wrote an article in the newspaper about his impression of Mr. Roberts. He said that Mr. Roberts was a man without any self-consciousness. Our defeat comes from too much consideration of ourselves; all we remember is our victory or our defeat. As a result, Christ cannot be completely manifested in us.
The way of our victory is not through a constant, unceasing analysis of ourselves. Rather, it is to look away unto Jesus. It is not the removal of evil thoughts, but the retention of good thoughts; it is not the eradication of something in ourselves, but yielding to the infilling of Christ in us to the extent that we completely forget about ourselves. Whenever we think back on ourselves, our steps are immediately halted. The Bible does not tell us to consider how we run. Rather, it tells us to run by looking away unto Jesus. If we turn to examine ourselves, we will see that we are in a fog; the more we examine, the more we become unclear. If we look away unto Jesus, we will naturally be able to run well.
When I was learning to ride a bicycle, many times I would ride it too close to the side of the wall and hit the wall. Every day I hurt my hand. Later I asked a schoolmate who could ride a bicycle to tell me my problem. When I rode on the bicycle, I fixed my eyes on the handlebars on the front of the bicycle, hoping that my hands might be steadier and the bicycle might not weave. But it did not work. The more I looked at the handlebars and tried to steady my hands, the more my hands trembled and the more the bicycle weaved. My schoolmate told me that I veered and hit the wall because I was looking at the handlebars and not the road. In order not to weave and hit the wall, the eyes must keep looking at the road ahead. Our living is the same way. Whenever we turn to look at ourselves, we will fail. We must look forward.
Many Christian failures are due to introspection and self-examination. When Christians turn to examine themselves, even if there is no other harm, they have lost at least one step. The Bible does not command Christians to examine themselves, because self-examination is not only unprofitable, but it hinders progress as well. Many Christians, after a day is over, review the things of the day and examine themselves. They are just fooling themselves. The apostle Paul did not care how others judged him. He did not even judge himself. He said, "Do not judge anything before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and make manifest the counsels of the hearts, and then there will be praise to each from God" (1 Cor. 4:5). Paul knew that only when the Lord shines His light can anyone know what is right and what is wrong. If a Christian repeatedly considers himself, he surely will fail. He will be proud and consider himself better than his companions when he thinks that he has no fault. He will be discouraged and see no way out when he thinks about his faults. If our self-knowledge comes from the shining of God, then the results will be different.