About fifteen years ago I met a Western missionary who shared with me his testimony. He said that although he was saved when he was young, he did not know the Lord adequately. Even though he had come to China to do missionary work, he still did not know the Lord much. He used an illustration of driving a car to explain this. He said that since he was not a good driver, he asked the Lord to help him. The Lord was like his Advisor. Every time he was perplexed, he asked the Lord for advice. When he did not have any strength, he asked the Lord to help him. This was his past situation. Still, he did not think that the Lord had helped him very much. It seemed that the more he asked the Lord for direction, the more the Lord refused to give him direction. Later he became clear that although his love for the Lord was right, he should not use his own effort or methods; he had to stop all his own effort and methods. He knew that it was right to have a heart for the Lord and that without such a heart the Lord would have no way to grant him grace or to work in him. He realized, however, that he would have to put his own methods and strength aside. He said that he would now give “the whole car” to the Lord, including the seats and the steering wheel. When the Lord drove well, he would praise the Lord; when the Lord drove fast, he would thank the Lord. He handed his whole life over into the Lord’s hands. He would just sit next to the Lord and enjoy. All the problems would be taken care of by the Lord, and all the strength would come from the Lord, while he would just look at the scenery and enjoy it.
Although this is a simple illustration, it shows us the problem that many people have. Either we do not love God, or once we love God, we use our own effort and methods to please Him. As a result we deviate from God. We want to love God and please God with our own strength, according to our own view, and in our own way; however, God does not want any of this. As a result, eventually we will deviate from God. Hence, many times when we are weak, we ask God to strengthen us. Many times when we fail, we ask God to cause us to overcome and to help us to stand firm. This kind of prayer is seldom answered. God hardly ever answers prayers for strengthening or overcoming. Hence, many people may doubt God and ask, “Why didn’t God listen to my prayer?” The problem is that if you are the one who is driving the car, and you ask the Lord to be your Advisor or Helper, the Lord would never give you any advice or help. There is a saying which is very true: If we do not allow the Lord to work completely, the Lord will not work. If we use our own way to please God, we will be distracted from God and may even be discouraged. Many distractions and problems come from this, but this is also the time for us to receive grace. For this reason, God always particularly arranges the environment in order to weaken us and make us feel that we cannot bear or handle the environment.
If we are those who already love God, then we may ask Him to help us to do better in order to please Him. In response, God not only will not help us, but He will worsen our environment to suppress us and cause us to be unable to do anything. At a time like this, many people may wonder why it is that before they loved God, they did not have any problems; however, now that they love God, their environment has become more difficult. This is exactly what God is doing. It is because we have a heart to love God that He raises up the environment in order to break our effort and all of our methods. God does not want any of our effort or ways; He wants only our heart.
This is the hardest part of God’s work in man. Many times, when our heart comes, our strength also comes. The two seem to be inseparable. Yet God wants only man’s heart, not man’s effort or ways. This problem is similar to a doctor operating on a patient who has a tumor. The tumor, which is connected to the patient’s body, has to be removed, but his body has to be preserved. When we do not love God, our strength does not come. When we do not love God, the adverse environment also will not rise up. However, once we love God, our strength comes. In order for God to perfect our heart and break our strength, He allows situations to come to us. Hence, many people are confused, yet our God is never confused. Whenever God works in us, He always gives us an inner sense through which He charges us to please Him. However, although God gives us such a sense and commands us to please Him. He does not want us to please Him by ourselves. He wants the Lord Jesus to be our strength to please Him. Therefore, God worsens our environment in order to break us so that we will be unable to rely on ourselves.
A Christian sister, who was accustomed to not submitting to her husband, read from the Bible one day that wives should respect their husbands and be subject to them. In response, she had a heart to respect her husband and be subject to him, so she made a resolution before God, saying, “O God, from now on give me the strength that I may respect my husband and submit myself to him.” Her prayer, on the one hand, shows her desire to please God, but on the other hand, it shows that she intended to use her own effort to submit herself to her husband. She loved God and wanted to please God, but she intended to use her own effort to obey her husband and thus to please God, so she prayed and asked God for help. What did God do? Eight out of ten times, God made her husband’s temper even bigger and worse than before. Every day she prayed, “O God, give me the strength to obey my husband.” God not only did not give her the strength, but He allowed her husband’s temper to get worse. This caused her to be discouraged, and so she prayed again before God, “O God, in the past when I did not obey Your word, my husband was like a lamb. Now that I want to please You, he has become worse. I wonder why this is so.” Finally, she was not able to pray any more. What was happening? We have to bear in mind that for a wife to submit to her husband depends on God. In addition, it is also God’s doing when the husbands lose their temper. God does such things simply because He wants our strength to go bankrupt.
I met a sister who, after her salvation, took good care of her husband at home. Although outwardly she did not show pride in her face, she did expose a flavor of pride in her speaking. One day she encountered a problem. She wanted to love God, so she prayed, “O God, from now on, I want to please You in dealing with my husband and my children.” After she prayed such a prayer, her family situation became chaotic, her husband’s temper was worse, and her children were naughtier. She prayed that she would be a submissive wife to her husband and a good mother to her children in order to please God, but her family situation became more and more difficult. She was almost unable to bear it, and she felt that she did not look proper at home at all. So she came to me and said, “Brother, what is happening? In the past when I was a typical sister, my family situation was not that bad; at least I looked like a good wife before my husband and a good mother before my children. But since the day I decided to love God and please God in dealing with my husband and children, they became harder to deal with. They cannot take it, and neither can I.” This is not merely our sister’s problem but the problem of many of us.
If we love God, it is His doing, and if we have turmoil in our family, it is also His doing. All these things come together for the purpose of bringing our strength to an end. Whether we are humble or kind, our humbleness and kindness are both from our own strength. If we are not broken, even if we are good, whatever we do will be nothing but our own doing, rather than God’s doing it in us and through us, or our doing it through God. The things that we do may be right, but if our being is wrong, our strength will also be wrong. Therefore, God raises up the environment to break us and eliminate our strength. If we try to please God not according to His way, He will raise up the environment to eliminate our strength and ruin our way, so that all we have left is a heart to please Him, not our own effort or way. When we are brought to this point, all we will be able to do is prostrate ourselves before God and say, “O God, I do not have any strength to please You. O God, it is impossible to please You with my own strength and according to my own way. O God, the most I have is just a heart to love You and desire You.”