In the beginning, man fell from the face of God to the conscience, and then from the conscience to human government. Hence, there are three things that rule over man: first, God; second, the conscience; and third, man himself. Those who live before God are the highest category of people. Those who live according to their conscience are not in the highest category of people, but they are comparatively good people. Those who live under man’s ruling are in the lowest category of people—they do not obey their conscience and do not live before God, but dare to do anything. There are only a few people who live before God; the majority of people live before men. Husbands are afraid of being caught by their wives, while the wives are afraid of being caught by their husbands. Children are afraid of being caught by their parents, while the parents are afraid of being caught by their children. Doctors are afraid of being caught by the nurses, while the nurses are afraid of being caught by the doctors. Everyone is afraid of being caught by another. Whenever there is no one ruling us, we can do all kinds of immoral things. All those people who are merely afraid of man—the police, the judge, or the military police—are the lowest and most fallen people. They fear only the eyes of man, but not God Himself. Christians today live before men more than they live according to their conscience. Those who live before God are ruled by God, those who live according to their conscience are ruled by their conscience, and those who live before men are ruled by man. These three ways of living—living before God, living according to one’s conscience, and living before man—are called God’s rule, self-rule, and man’s rule, respectively.
When we were saved, God saved us from living under man’s rule. Before we were saved, as long as other people—our husbands, our wives, our teachers, or our supervisors—could not see us, we would do all kinds of filthy things for our own interests. But one day the Lord saved us from sin and evil. In addition, He also saved and delivered us from living merely under man’s rule. Now, if we are children, we do not violate our family rules, and as ordinary people, we definitely are law-abiding people. Why is this? It is because we are saved, and whatever our conscience does not allow us to do, we absolutely would not do. If this is not our experience, how can we say that we are the saved ones? Although we may be saved, sometimes we are like unsaved ones—those of us who are students still do lawless things behind our teachers’ backs, and those of us who are wives still tell lies to our children and to our husbands. A Christian who wants to live before God should experience God’s salvation at least to the extent that he lives according to his conscience.
This way is very basic. Man’s fall into being under the ruling of the conscience is one small station. Following this, man fell further into being under the ruling of man. Whatever is forbidden by the conscience is actually forbidden by God, and whatever is not pleasing to the conscience is not pleasing to God. Whatever is condemned by the conscience is condemned by God, and whatever is censured by the conscience is, in fact, censured by God. After a Christian is saved, if he does not listen to his conscience nor fulfill the demands of his conscience, he will disobey God, lie to God, and have no way to receive God’s grace. For the sake of the new believers, I have to say that this does not mean that he is not saved. He is definitely saved, but because he does not listen to God’s word, he is not overcoming. Thus, we have to carefully obey our conscience to deal with all the things that are condemned, censured, or forbidden by it.
I am afraid that many children of God among us have a conscience that is full of offenses and leaks. For some, the conscience may be like a bucket with holes leaking out all the water that is put into it. Although we have heard many messages, when the messages pass through us, they all leak out of us. We seem to be touched and enlightened when we read the Bible, but all these things leak out of us, and we become like a car that has run out of gas. First Timothy 1:19 says that if we thrust away our good conscience, we become shipwrecked. Today many Christians have no progress in life because they do not thoroughly deal with their conscience. If they do not pay attention to this point, they will have no way to go on. However, the wonderful thing is that whenever we thoroughly deal with our conscience, we come to God. Once we come under the ruling of our conscience, we are immediately delivered from living under man’s rule, and we live before God.
Some people may ask, What does it mean to live before God? To live before God means that we receive leading and ruling directly from God. One time I met a sister who was very mature in the Lord. She had lived in Nanking for almost thirty years. At the end of the lunar year she wanted to buy something, not because she was following the world’s custom, but because she had a need. She calculated that she would need a total of one hundred and twenty Chinese yuan. Since she was serving the Lord full-time without receiving any salary, she did not always have money in her hand. Then she prayed before God, “O God, I am Your maidservant, and now I tell You my problem. I do not want help from man, but if You do not give me this one hundred and twenty yuan, this will put You to shame.” Shortly after this, a co-worker who lived a few provinces away from her suddenly had the feeling that this elderly sister from Nanking was in need of money. The amount that came to his mind was exactly one hundred and twenty Chinese yuan. This is a real story. He realized that the lunar new year was approaching and that if he remitted the money to her, it would arrive too late. So he sent a telegram to her. When the sister received the telegram, the amount was exactly the same as she had requested of the Lord. This is not a matter of the conscience but a matter of living before God.
The conscience deals with right and wrong. The conscience is not necessarily God’s speaking to us directly, but it is His speaking to us through our conscience. When this sister prayed, how could a co-worker who lived a few provinces away know that she needed one hundred and twenty Chinese yuan? This was the result of living before God and fellowshipping with God. This co-worker was one who thoroughly dealt with his conscience and lived before God. When he was fellowshipping with God, God spoke to him directly and gave him the leading. We have to see this one thing: A person who is delivered from man’s rule, lives according to his conscience, has fellowship with God, and lives directly before God transcends right and wrong. If people would come to him to present a case, he would not deal with it based merely on right and wrong; rather, he would make his judgment before God Himself. We have to know that many people may be right according to right and wrong, but nevertheless they may be wrong before God. To know this requires the feeling of our spirit.
For example, one day two quarreling brothers came to me. If I was one who was saved merely to the point of living according to my conscience, I would speak to them according to the sense of right and wrong in my conscience, saying, “Brother Huang, you are wrong,” or “Brother Sun, you are wrong.” But if I am one who is learning to live before God and learning to know and deal with my conscience, I will go deeper than the feeling of my conscience and judge according to my spirit, living absolutely before God. In terms of right and wrong, it may be that Brother Huang was wrong and Brother Sun was right; however, in terms of having a proper spirit, it may be that Brother Huang was right because his spirit before God was right. Someone may be wrong in terms of right and wrong, but his spirit is right before God. Conversely, someone may be right in terms of right and wrong, but his spirit is wrong before God.
You may say that this is very complicated and wonder how a person can be wrong related to right and wrong yet right related to the spirit. For instance, we always encounter situations where the husband and wife quarrel with one another. One day a sister came to me and said, “Brother, when my husband, your brother, is happy, he rises at three o’clock in the morning to pray and read the Bible. After he has been filled with the Holy Spirit, he goes out to preach the gospel. I cook for him, but he does not eat because he says that he has to fast and pray. You see, this is your brother. He is too much. You have to deal with him.” All the reasons in the whole universe seem to be on the sisters’ side; sisters are always right. It is true that the brother was wrong, but this sister was unkind. In terms of right and wrong she was right, but before God she was wrong. Even though she was right, since her person was wrong, she was totally wrong.
One time another sister came with her child to oppose her husband. They came to see me and said, “Brother Lee, when my child has to buy books, my husband does not give me the money, and when I have to buy food, he does not give me the money either. All he does is preach the gospel and does not care for anything else. Whether he rises early or late, all he does is pray.” This sister came to demand an explanation from me, and her child also asked, “Is my father right in doing such a thing? We really cannot take it.” I had nothing to say to the sister. At that moment, the brother came. Then the sister said to me, “Brother Lee, now you can ask him yourself whether or not this is the real situation.” The brother just stood there speechless. He was being questioned like a criminal. His wife was acting like she was even higher than a judge, and the child was standing there watching them. All that I could do was to weep with the brother. In terms of right and wrong, the wife may have been right; however, in terms of their persons, the brother was the one who was still right. Although the wife had been saved, her flesh was very strong. What she said was right, but her person was wrong.
If we want to live before God, we have to deal with our sins carefully. There was a wife who was very gentle. One time she came to see me, without showing me that she was angry. She said that she wanted to have some fellowship with me. She told me that her husband prayed all the time and would not come home until midnight. While she was telling me this, she was very mild and did not show her anger at all. If we had not learned the matter of the conscience, we would easily have gone along with what she said. Seeing her good attitude and gentle manner, it would be easy to think that she must be one who has much learning in the Lord; actually, she was accusing her husband. Those who have some learning before the Lord would know that what they have heard is just the surface. Many times when we are before our conscience and before God, we have a feeling which goes deeper than right and wrong. Wherever the light shines, there is God’s reigning, and there is also God’s life. If man does not receive God’s shining to live according to his conscience, it will be hard for him to learn to know life. Moreover, one day we all have to progress beyond living by our conscience and tell God, “O God, I do not want to live merely according to my conscience, I want to live before You.”