In all the years I knew Brother Nee, I can testify that he never had any family friends among the saints. He only had fellowship with the brothers; he never had friendship, even with the co-workers and elders. Furthermore, he never brought his relatives into the church leadership or into the work. As Mrs. Nee later testified, before they were married Brother Nee told her, “I am taking you as my wife; I am not marrying you as a co-worker.” All the time I was there and saw the situation, Mrs. Nee never came into the work. She was a good sister, but she was not brought into the work. Nor was she even a deaconess in the church. Brother Chang knows this quite well.
This is a serious matter. Apparently to have the family brought into the work is a help to us. Actually it doesn’t help. Eventually it will cause great suffering. In some places I have seen a family influencing and even controlling. In some cases it went as far as controlling other places.
After seeing Brother Nee’s example, I myself did my best not to have personal friendships or family friends among the saints. I practiced this while I was in Chefoo; I was there for quite a long time, and I tried purposely not to have a family friend. After that I was in Shanghai, then in Taiwan, and then I came to this country. In all these places I have not made friends. Through all these years I have been with you, you can realize I don’t have any family friends. We have practiced this purposely. A number of saints did show their love to us with the expectation that we would go to their homes frequently and that they in turn would feel free to come to our home to help with the cooking and other things. We purposely closed the door to this. I do not mean that we have not needed the help of the saints. Quite often we have needed some help; but we closed the door to any kind of family relationship.
It is hard to be pure, and it is hard to be in the spirit, as long as the family is involved. Our relationship should only be spiritual with the co-workers, with the brothers, and with the other saints. It should be absolutely pure, and purely in the spirit.
The Bible doesn’t give us a hint as to who were the successors of the apostles or of the elders. This is contrary to our human thought. We would expect—if we are a prevailing elder—that eventually our son or sons would be our successors in the eldership. But the Bible gives no hint that this ever happened. The succession is altogether up to the Lord’s sovereignty. It is not up to our choice or our preference. This doesn’t mean that we should not perfect our children to grow in life and to serve the Lord in the church. That is another matter. But if we want to build up our children to be our successors, this is against the spiritual principle.
The same is true concerning the matter of salvation. If we can educate our children to be saved, if we think we can raise them so that they get saved, then where is predestination? Of course, some have gone too far to the other extreme, saying that it is all up to the Lord’s predestination so we don’t need to do anything; if the Lord has not chosen our children, they will not be saved whatever we do. That is another extreme. We must do our best to raise our children well, and we must do everything we can to help them to know the Lord. But eventually what will be is up to the Lord’s sovereign grace.
In the Bible there are two sides. On the one side, the New Testament charges us, especially the leaders in the church, to take good care of the family, to manage or rule our home well (1 Tim. 3:4-5). On the other side, we cannot see any hint as to who was the successor of Peter, or of John, or the other apostles. Thus, we must not hold the concept of building up our children to be our successors; that is not scriptural. Some have said that Timothy was Paul’s successor. I tell you the truth, Timothy was not. There is no comparison between what Paul did and what Timothy did. Timothy didn’t do the same as Paul in the Lord’s New Testament ministry. So, according to the New Testament, there is no human successor to the workers or to the elders.
We must stand in the middle, not to this side nor to that side. We must do our best to take care of our children, to teach them, and to raise them in the knowledge of the Lord. Of course we have to do this. Yet we must leave the outcome to His sovereignty, to His mercy, and to His grace.
But my point is this, brothers: in the Lord’s work and in the church leadership, we have only the relationship in the spirit. Between the brothers and us there should be only the genuine fellowship, not friendship.