Before we continue let me add a word. To have a characteristic is not wrong. Every one among us is a character, and as a character we surely have some characteristic or characteristics. In the Bible you can see that all the Apostles had characters, especially the Apostle Paul. He had a real character, and Peter and John also had real characters. They all had their own characteristics, but they were not peculiar. They had characteristics, but their characteristics were not biased nor were they warped. So in their character there was no peculiarity. They had characteristics, but no peculiarity. Why? We have to realize that especially Paul and John had been quite transformed. Transformation actually takes away our peculiar traits. It takes away our peculiarities. Our natural man is biased and warped and is expressed mainly in our peculiarities. Don’t consider that it is sinful doings and low behavior that is expressed in our peculiarity. No. A piece of paper may not be dirty or torn, but it may be warped. To be biased means not to be so straight or so right. But even this is not the full definition of being biased. We may have a lot of sins or no sins; we may have bad habits or good habits, but these are not the expressions of peculiarity. Peculiarity stands within our being alone, by itself. A very righteous man may be quite peculiar. A very “holy” man, a very “spiritual” man may be very peculiar. In the New Testament you can see that Paul is so strong, but you cannot find that with him there is something peculiar. According to his writings there is no peculiarity. It is the same with Peter and John. With these New Testament characters you cannot find any peculiar traits. Their characters were different with different characteristics, but it is hard to find any peculiarity. But with us, nearly every one has some peculiarities. The church life is full of peculiarities. You have a peculiarity and I have a peculiarity. We all have some peculiarity.
I feel that our brother’s joking is actually a kind of covering for something that’s inward. Apparently he likes to joke, but actually I have a sense that it comes out that way because there is a real desire in him to do things right. It may be that this desire bothers him very much and that the only way to relieve this desire is to be humorous. Our brother apparently is not a detailed person, but I know from experience that actually he is super detailed. I never had this impression until I coordinated with him on cleaning and arranging the meeting hall. To my surprise when we came together to pray it was not unusual for him to have many, many points to cover. I don’t believe that the humor which is expressed is the real brother. I believe there is something else within him that is related to his being too fine and caring to be so right and wanting to go on.
We need another brother also to help us.
Since I have known this brother I have noticed that as he functions in the meetings he has a strong tendency to present something in a joking way. And no doubt all of us have picked this up. But I would say in personal fellowship with him he is generally very serious with hardly any trace of joking. He is very serious and very detailed and very intent on sharing what he really feels. He will not let you go until he shares fully what is in him. I have known few brothers in the church life who can talk as long as he can and never seem to run out of something to say. It seems as if there is a kind of fountain within him that never runs dry. I realize, though, that deeper within him there is something intangible and indefinable. It may be that we still are touching only the outward things and haven’t yet hit the mark.
Perhaps another brother could add something.
My personal times with this brother are quite different from the times in the meetings. His concern for what I consider as small things gets to the point of being picky. He is very concerned about details and small things and why things are a certain way. This makes me wonder how he can be so funny in the meetings. Furthermore, he cares for people. He likes people a lot, but I think sometimes when he contacts people they do not know when he is being serious and when he is not. Every time that I have fellowshipped with him, the fellowship has been even quite heavy. It is very serious, very detailed, and he analyzes everything very thoroughly. I’m not sure what this has to do with the humorous side that comes out in the meetings.
I would ask another brother also to say something.
The last time I talked at any length with this brother was about six months ago here at the hall. It is true that I definitely get an impression there are two different things going on. The person we see in the meetings and the person whom we meet personally and particularly in a one-to-one relationship are very different. It seems to me that all of the weeks of perfecting have been leading up to this very point so that the Lord can touch this matter. Although I can recognize that this brother has a certain peculiarity, I cannot identify it. I am afraid that many of us have even the same or other peculiarities also. It seems that our brother expresses himself in at least two different ways. I remember that in the book, The Experience of Life, Brother Lee pointed out that the spirit is the genuine part of your being. I believe how much a person is really in the spirit or not depends on what you can see as a constant or level impression. If a person is not that much in the spirit, it’s quite easy to see something of his old man or his natural man. It is easy to see a kind of desire the person has that is somewhat short of the spirit or to see a kind of insecurity expressing itself. I do believe if this brother and all of us were more in the spirit we would see something far more constant and normal. It may be that what we see are the symptoms that this brother is not that much transformed and not that much saturated with the Spirit.