Very good! Now I feel that we have to go on a little deeper and a little further to touch a subtle thing that is within nearly all of us. I do not believe that any among us could guess what it is. In the Colossians Training we saw that the subtle thing that frustrates us from experiencing Christ is our culture, but you have to realize that culture is too general. Since the Colossians Training we have dealt mainly with two things: culture and opinion. These two things frustrate us from experiencing Christ. Our opinion is more subjective to us than our culture. Now we have to consider another thing which is even more subjective than our opinion. What is this hidden thing that is a great frustration to our experiencing Christ? In Hymns, #840, there is a phrase which says, “from peculiar traits deliver.” This hidden matter within us which frustrates us so greatly is our peculiarity. What is peculiarity? It is our biased and warped characteristics. It does not mean crooked or perverted but biased and warped. The New Testament tells us that we have to live Christ. “To me to live is Christ” (Phil. 1:21). “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal. 2:20). While these two verses are in the Bible, we don’t realize how much these three things—culture, opinion, and peculiarity—frustrate us from actually living Christ. I have never read a book telling us that culture, opinion, and peculiarity are great frustrations to the experience of Christ. But today we must see this very matter. What is your peculiarity? Brother, please tell us what is your peculiarity.
I do think about this a lot, and this song touches me more than any other song in the hymnal. And the line concerning the peculiar traits I can never forget. I well realize that I’m a peculiar person. I know also that I appear that way to others. Recently I was considering another brother who is very different from myself. I considered how normal this brother is, how mild he is in his temperament, and I was considering that I simply wasn’t born that way. Knowing that I have certain peculiarities has given me a kind of longing over the years to be free from the peculiarity. I realize that the way I do things is peculiar and the way I think is peculiar. Even everything I do is peculiar. Everything I am is peculiar. I’m longing to get some help on this.
You have to realize that we all are peculiar. We all are biased and warped. These kinds of things could never be touched by the regular teachings. You may hear message after message but none would touch you. We need another brother to tell us what his peculiarities are. Brother, what are your peculiarities?
Do I have peculiarities?
Let me help a little. You see that all the saints have laughed at your question. This indicates that no doubt through the years in all the meetings you have impressed them with something. I do believe that what is within their understanding must be this thing—peculiarity. Would you please tell us what is your peculiarity. Then I would ask the others who have laughed at you to tell us what is your peculiarity. Don’t think, however, that only this brother has some peculiarity and you don’t. It is simply that his peculiarity has been all the time coming out, and yours has been all the time concealed. We all have peculiarity. Please go on to tell us, brother, what your peculiarity is.
I have been very concerned with this one point over the years, and I don’t know if others have had the same kind of thought or not. For a long time I have considered this matter of peculiarity and that others must think that I am peculiar because of the typical response that the saints give me in meetings and in just about any situation. In my consideration I have felt that what comes out of me is not the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s just me by birth and this bothers me a lot. I have realized that we should live Christ, yet I’m living by my peculiarities day after day and this really bothers me. I have been condemned, concerned, and worried about this for years. I believe at least in part it has to do with the matter of joking. Deep-seated in my being is a kind of characteristic to slant something toward the humorous side. However, if I felt like being humorous I would, but if not I would turn it off like a faucet. Many times when I shut this off I sensed Christ and not myself. But when I turned it on I sensed myself and not Christ. This has bothered me for years. Perhaps at least part of my problem is just the tendency to slant something toward a joke. But it may be that is rather superficial and there is some root which produces this kind of fruit.
Yes, this is right. I first met you in the Bay Area more than eleven years ago. So for many years we have known each other. I am especially used to paying much attention to the young seeking saints including yourself. I have noticed that you surely love the Lord. You have been much graced by the Lord and you do have a heart to go on with Him. But there is a big factor, a negative factor, within you that has been frustrating you all the time from the richer experiences of Christ. And this factor is your peculiarity. You don’t love the world, and you aren’t so much in yourself or in your flesh. But the growth in life and the function in the Body has not come up to the standard. I have realized that sometimes you are struggling to grow, to gain more of Christ, to experience more of Christ, and to be more useful in the functioning in the Body. Yet something is there frustrating, and that something is peculiarity. You have realized some aspects of your peculiarity, but now we need some others who know you quite well to help you realize something more concerning your peculiarity.
I don’t really know whether I can tell you exactly what our brother’s peculiarity is. I have noticed over the years that there is a kind of peculiarity, but I would say it’s not just a matter of lightness or of having a kind of joking personality. It comes out that way, but actually something is there that I cannot explain. It is simply there. It sticks out, and when you think of this brother, that is what you think of. I don’t have a definition for it.
We need someone else to help us, perhaps someone who knows the brother better. Please be bold to tell us something, to tell us your impression about this brother.
Our brother seems to be a humorous person, but actually I believe he’s a very detailed person. From knowing him in the past, I know he likes to do things in a very fine and detailed way. Because he is such a fine and detailed person, I believe a lot of things bother him.