Verse 34 continues, "His master became angry and delivered him to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed." This is a man who has come under God's discipline. God delivers him to the torturers until he should repay all that he owes.
Verse 35 says, "So also shall My heavenly Father do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from your hearts." This is a serious matter. We hope that no one would fall into God's hand. We must forgive our brother from the heart, as God has forgiven us from His heart. We hope all the brothers and sisters will learn to forgive all offenses. Do not try to remember the sins of your brother. We should not ask our brother to repay us. God's children should be like God in this matter. Since God treats us generously, He expects us to treat our brothers generously as well.
It is not sufficient for us to just forgive our brother. This only takes care of the negative side. We still need to restore him. This is the charge in Matthew 18:15-20.
Matthew 18:15 says, "If your brother sins against you, go, reprove him between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." Offenses occur all the time among God's children. If a brother offends you, what should you do? The Lord says, "Go, reprove him between you and him alone." If a brother offends you, the first thing you should do is not to tell others. Do not tell the brothers and sisters or the elders of the church about it or make it the subject of your conversation. This is not the Lord's charge. If a brother offends you, the first thing you should do is go to him and tell him.
A problem often arises when a brother offends another brother and then the offended brother goes around publicizing it. He continually talks about it until the whole church knows about it. However, the brother who supposedly offended him remains unaware of the offense. Such tale-telling is typical of the conduct of a weak person; only a weak one would be so timid as to not talk directly with the offending brother. He would only dare to speak about the matter behind his back; he would dare not speak about it face-to-face. It is an unclean thing for anyone to speak of matters behind others' backs and to spread gossip. We do have to deal with our brother's fault, but the Lord does not want us to tell others first. The first one who needs to be told is the person who is directly involved, not others. If we learn this basic lesson well, the church will be spared many problems.
How do we tell others? Should we write a letter to them? The Lord did not tell us to do this. The Lord did not say that we should deal with it in writing, but rather by going to our brother and speaking to him face-to-face. However, just as it is wrong to speak about a matter behind someone's back, it is equally wrong to speak about it in front of many people. The matter should be communicated "between you and him alone." Many children of God fail in this matter. They publicize things before many people. But the Lord charges us to speak only when the involved parties are together. In other words, individual sins should be dealt with by the individuals alone; no third party should be involved at all.
We need to learn this lesson before God. We should never say anything behind the back of the brother who has offended us, and we should not speak to him in front of many people. We must point out his fault only when we are alone together. We do not have to talk about other things or bring up other problems; we simply need to point out the fault. This requires grace from God. It is one lesson God's children must learn.
Some brothers and sisters may think that this is too troublesome. While this is, in fact, quite troublesome, you cannot be afraid of trouble if you want to walk according to God's Word. If you feel that your brother's offense against you is too small to be bothered with, you may feel no need to speak to him. If this is the case, there is also no need to tell others about it. If you feel that a matter is insignificant, simple, trivial, and unworthy of bringing to his attention, you should not tell others about it either. You should not think that he does not need to be informed but that others do need to be informed. If you want to speak of it, speak to him alone. If there is no need to speak of it, simply keep silent. It is wrong for others to know about something when the offending brother is ignorant of it.