Next, we have to consider the outward memory. Sometimes the Lord uses our outward memory. At such times the outward memory becomes necessary. But sometimes the Lord does not want to use our outward memory. At such times the outward memory is useless to Him. Why is our outward memory necessary at times and useless at other times? I cannot explain this; I can only state the fact. This is a fact for which I can give you no explanation. Sometimes we have the word within; we have the word of God’s revelation, and we also have the memory of the Holy Spirit. We are very clear within, but we still need to exercise our own memory. The Holy Spirit reminds us of things; He does not create a separate memory for us. The memory of the Holy Spirit means that the Holy Spirit reminds us of things. John 14:26 says, “He will...remind you of all the things which I have said to you.” God’s Spirit is living within us. When He gives us a revelation, this revelation is kept alive in the Holy Spirit. When we speak, God may give us two words. These two words are the key words. If we remember these key words, amazingly the memory of the Holy Spirit will remain. But if we forget these two words, the memory of the Holy Spirit will also be lost. Sometimes when the Holy Spirit reminds us of these words, we are afraid that our memory will fail, and we write down these crucial and important words. Often as we recall these two words, the picture within comes back, and we see the revelation once again. This shows us that the Holy Spirit uses our outward memory. Sometimes we jot down a few words, and just a glance at them makes us inwardly clear. Yet sometimes we are not clear within even after we look at the words. During these times, it is clear that the Holy Spirit is not using our outward memory.
Hence, we can say that the outward memory can be both useful and useless. Sometimes the Lord shows us something. Yet after a while, only the outward memory is left; inwardly we do not see anything. There is nothing that we can do about this. Under normal circumstances, we should write down the words we have received. The more revelation we receive from God, the more we need our outward memory. The less revelation we receive from God, the less we need our outward memory. The stronger our inward memory is before the Lord, the more our outward memory and inward memory will be purified. As the things in our outward memory and inward memory become more purified, we will retain things both in our outward memory as well as in our inward memory. In the beginning our inward memory may not match what has been retained in our outward memory. Do not be discouraged. The things we retain outwardly may sometimes be visible to us and sometimes be gone from us. But as our experience advances, we will find these two kinds of memory becoming more and more one; they will merge to become one memory. We will find that, along with the outward remembrance of the words, there is also the inward remembrance of the words. This is the reason that we have to humble ourselves before the Lord. We have to pray much, look to Him much, and be ready at all times. When we are clear about what we see, we can speak to others about it. We must always preserve the inner words in the revelation of the Holy Spirit before we speak it out.
Sometimes you may give a good message, and everyone may applaud you. But within you know how good the message really was. At the time of your speaking, you could not recall the very thing that you were impressed with. The outward memory did not match the inward memory. You said the right things, but the revelation was not there; it had faded into the background. We must learn this lesson before the Lord: A minister of the word must have light, inner thoughts, the inner words, the outer words, and the memory of the Holy Spirit, as well as the outward memory. The memory of the Holy Spirit should lie between revelation and the inner words; it should be ready always to supply the inner words. The outward memory should be placed in between the inner words and the outer words; it should be ready always to supply the outer words.
Let us consider these three steps: light, the inner word, and the outer words. (For now we will not consider the thoughts.) The memory of the Holy Spirit should lie in between the first and the second items. Our own memory should lie in between the second and the third items. The memory of the Holy Spirit should lie between the light and the inner words so that the memory of the Holy Spirit can supply the inner words with light. The inner words have to be fed by the light of the Holy Spirit. Without the feeding of the light, the inner words will die; they will become something physical, not spiritual. The memory of the Holy Spirit supplies the inner words with light so that the inner words will continue to thrive in the environment of light. Then we have to use our own words, which we acquire by exercising our own memory to supply the outer words with the inner words. When this happens we will have the speaking.
In exercising our own memory, we have to remember that the outward memory can never replace the function of the inner memory. In fact, the memory of the Holy Spirit often has no use for the outward memory.
Another thing we have to realize is that sometimes the outward memory can even become a barrier to the memory of the Holy Spirit. The outward memory is not only unqualified to substitute for the Spirit’s memory, but at times it actually can frustrate the Spirit’s memory. Sometimes the inner word within us is shining and living, and the Holy Spirit reminds us of this shining. Yet outwardly, we forget the few crucial words. The utterance is gone, and we cannot go on. Many times there is no problem inwardly; the problem lies in outside factors. The crucial words are lost, and the speaking is gone. When we become more experienced, we see that our memory sometimes aids the Spirit’s memory, while at other times, our memory blocks the Spirit’s memory. The Spirit’s memory has to use our memory. The Spirit cannot use another memory besides our own; it has to use our memory. Suppose we are busy with outside affairs all the time and cannot remember many words. We are either too careless or too anxious. Even though the Lord has given us three or five words, we can forget them all and be unable to remember one thing. Even though we cannot remember these words, nevertheless, we may speak for an hour. The taste, however, is gone. This is a serious matter. This is the reason that we sometimes have to write down the revelation we have in a few words. The few words will refresh the seeing, and the entire revelation within us will come alive again as we read these words.
Every time we serve as a minister of the word, the Holy Spirit may want to say many things. We cannot emphasize one part while overlooking another part. For example, the Holy Spirit may want to say three things, yet we may miss two of them. The two things that we have missed become a burden to us. As long as we miss one thing, we cannot be considered as a qualified minister of the word. Within one revelation, God may need to release more than one word or cover more than one subject. He may want to bring up two or three subjects. If we forget them or skip over them, we will feel the weight upon us. Therefore, we have to write down the three or five words. These three or five words can evoke more meaning than just the meaning of the words themselves. The Lord may want us to mention three or five subjects. We should write down every one of them so that nothing is missed. If we miss the last point, we barely may be able to get by with the rest of the speaking. But if we miss the first point, the whole meeting will be ruined.
Ministry of the word is a very serious matter. We must never offend the Spirit. We may think that it does not matter much whether or not we speak well. It seems as if we can afford to miss one out of five sentences. No! If we miss the very thing that we are supposed to release, we will feel the weight upon us increasing. If we miss something, we will feel its weight, because we have not communicated what God wants to convey to His children. Consequently, our burden increases.
A minister of the word should never fail. We must remember that if the Lord wants us to say three things, we have to say three things. If the Lord wants us to say five things, we have to say five things. If we cannot release them all, our burden will increase. If we release all the points except one, the light will be veiled, and we will feel the weight and the bondage. This is the reason that we must learn to exercise ourselves to have a good memory before the Lord. We must guard against any failure of our memory. May God grant us a clear understanding of the way of the ministry of the word. Our outward memory is merely a slave to the Spirit’s memory; it is merely a servant. But if this servant becomes unfruitful, the Spirit’s memory is not able to function well. Our memory needs to be renewed so that it can become useful to the Spirit. Every minister of the word has to pass through the proper dealings before becoming useful. Our mind must be dealt with to the extent that it can become useful. Our memory also must be dealt with to the extent that it can become useful. The thoughts and the memory are very much related to the ministry of the word. Once our memory fails, revelation is locked up and eventually dies.