A minister of the word must also pay attention to his memory. In fulfilling the ministry of the word, a man’s memory occupies a very important place. Its significance goes far beyond what men ordinarily imagine. This is another matter in which we should exercise ourselves before the Lord.
In ministering to others as ministers, we often feel that our memory is too poor. Some of us may have a good memory by birth, but when we serve as ministers, we realize how insufficient our memory is. As soon as we become aware of our poor memory, we discover that it is difficult for us to release our words. It seems as if a veil is covering our mind, and our burden cannot be released. We can only speak what we remember; we cannot speak what we do not remember. In other words, in serving as a minister of the word, how should the outer words match the inner words? How can the inner words be converted into the outer words? How can the inner words support the outer words? Without the supply of the inner words, there are not any outer words. Once the inner words stop, the subject of the outer words is lost. The subject lies in the inner words, not in the outer words. Hence, the outer words must draw their supply from the inner words. Without the supply of the inner words, the outer words dry up. This is where our memory comes into play. The outer words convey the inner words to others through the memory. The memory carries the inner words to the outside world. Whenever our memory fails, our burden cannot be released. We have to see the importance of the memory.
Whenever a minister of the word stands up to speak, he encounters a strange phenomenon: The more he remembers a doctrine, the less he remembers the revelation behind it. This is something beyond our control. Suppose we understand a doctrine, and it is very clear to us today. We may not be able to boast that we remember everything about this doctrine, but we can say at least that we remember a big part of it. But suppose we see a revelation within, capture the light with our thoughts, and also have a few words to articulate what we have seen. It is not so easy to remember these few words. The Lord may give us a sentence, and the sentence may articulate what our thoughts have captured; it may express what we have seen in our spirit, and it may encompass the retained thoughts as well as the light of the Holy Spirit. The sentence may be very simple; it may consist of just five or ten words. Humanly speaking, it should be very easy for us to remember these words. Yet, strangely, the more real a revelation is, the harder it is for us to remember it. This is a fact, not a theory. Our memory fails us after just five minutes of our speaking. Sometimes the order of the words is reversed. Sometimes important words are left out. Sometimes even though we try our best to recall the words, they are gone altogether. Even when we remember the words, the very thing behind the words is gone. At this point we should realize how hard it is for God’s revelation to be retained in man’s memory, and we should say, “Lord, be gracious to me and help me remember.”
We need the aid of our memory to transmit the inner words to the outside world and to express them in outer words. However, because our memory often fails us, the inner part cannot aid the outer part. The more we speak, the farther the outer words drift from the inner words. After we finish a message, we may realize that the inner words were not released at all. This is a very painful experience. We may think that jotting down some notes on a pad may help. At times this may be useful, but at times this may not be useful at all. It is strange that even as we read what we have jotted down and try to recall it, we may realize that we know all the characters and all the words, yet we cannot remember the very thing that the words are trying to convey. This is when we find our memory failing us. If what we see is merely a doctrine, it can easily be communicated to the outside world. The more doctrinal a point is, the easier it is for us to remember it. But if it is a revelation, it will not be that easy for us to remember it. If we try to express and convey the revelation we have within, we find that we have forgotten what we have seen just a moment ago. We remember the words, but we have forgotten the very things behind the words. The trouble with us is that we often forget what we have seen when we stand on the platform. Throughout our speaking, we speak about something else; we do not speak of the things we have seen. The result is a loss to the ministry. Hence, a minister of the word must have a good memory.
We need two kinds of memory, the outward memory and the memory of the Spirit. We need to use these two kinds of memory properly before we can be a minister of the word. The outward memory is the memory of the outer man. It is the memory that resides in our mental faculty. This memory occupies an important place in the testimony of God’s word. But there is a second kind of memory, the memory of the Holy Spirit. The Lord Jesus refers to this memory in John 14:26: “But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things and remind you of all the things which I have said to you.” This is the reminding of the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit who makes us remember such things; we do not remember them by ourselves. We should spend some time to find out about the memory of the Holy Spirit before considering the outward memory.