One thing special about the Bible is that it does not say much about friendship among God’s children. This does not mean that the word friend is never used in the Bible. The word is used numerous times in the Old Testament; we find it in Genesis and especially in Proverbs. In the New Testament we find the word in Matthew and Luke. But the friendship spoken of in the Bible primarily refers to friendship outside of Christ; the Bible does not say much about making friends with those who are in the Lord. If I remember correctly, the word friends is spoken of twice in Acts in relation to Christians. In the first instance, some among the Asiarch leaders were Paul’s friends. They entreated Paul not to venture into the theater (19:31). In the second instance, Julius treated Paul kindly and allowed him to go to his friends to receive care (27:3). In addition to these two verses, 3 John 14 says, “The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.” As far as I know, these are the only three places in Acts and the Epistles that speak about the subject. This shows us that the Bible does not say much about the matter of friendship.
The Bible does not emphasize friendship but instead emphasizes our relationship as brothers and sisters. It emphasizes the relationship of the brothers and sisters in the Lord. This is the basic and primary relationship. The Bible puts much more emphasis on this than on friendship.
What does friendship mean? An old man can be a friend to a young man. There can be friendship between husbands and wives. Fathers and sons can be friends with each other, and brothers and sisters also can be friends. Being a friend to someone means loving and communicating with that one; this is the only relationship that counts in a friendship. Among the different kinds of human relationships, there are blood relationships. This kind of relationship exists only between relatives. Friendship, however, is different from such relationships; it is sealed in mutual love. Friendship disregards all other relationships and binds two persons together through love. Friendship often exists between husband and wife, father and son, mother and daughter, or teacher and student. Friendship can develop between people of similar age, similar social standing, or similar era.
Friendship is an important relationship for a person who has not believed in the Lord Jesus. Before a person accepts the Lord as Savior, he does not share any spiritual relationship in the Lord. This is why friendship is the most important relationship in the world to him. But among us, friendship is no longer the most important thing. Friendship is rarely mentioned in the New Testament. Our emphasis is on the relationship that exists between us as brothers and sisters in the Lord. Our relationship as friends in the Lord is much less significant. Friendship is not important among God’s children.
Before we believe in the Lord, we do not have a spiritual relationship. We only have father and son, mother and daughter, teacher and student, and master and servant relationships. This is why friendship is an important matter to those who have not believed in the Lord. Two persons can be father and son to each other, but they can still have differences in standing. The same can be said of a mother and a daughter, a husband and a wife, and a master and his servant. Everyone can have his or her own standing. Blood relationships, however, are limited in number. Most persons can have between three and five blood relationships; those who have eight and ten such relationships are considered unusual. Other than these relationships, all other contacts are with friends.
Man cannot be satisfied with family relationships alone. He cannot be satisfied with the teacher-student relationship or any other social relationship alone. Man needs friendship. Friendship is based on love, not on the blood relationship. Many of our human relationships are inherited from birth; only friendship is by personal choice. This is why friendship is a most important matter to an unbeliever. Everyone has friends. A person can have three, five, eight, or ten friends. He can have dozens or hundreds of friends if he is sociable enough. He can enjoy companionship, love, and fellowship among these friends. Friendship indeed occupies an important place in an unbeliever’s life.
If an unbeliever does not have any friends, he must not be a very likable person. He may be somewhat abnormal or have a sick personality; he may be very hard to get along with; or perhaps his untrustworthiness or peculiarities have discouraged others from making friends with him. Under normal circumstances, a man always has friends.