Tenth, there is the matter of punishment. When a child has done something wrong, he or she must be punished. It is wrong not to punish.
The most difficult thing is to punish someone. Those who are parents must be afraid of beating their children. They must consider it as serious as beating their own parents. No children should beat their own parents. One can be forgiven for beating his own parents, yet he will not be easily forgiven for beating his own children. You must learn to be afraid of beating your own children and must consider it as serious as beating your own parents.
However, beating them is sometimes necessary. Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: / but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” This is Solomon’s wisdom. Parents should chastise their children with the rod. Beating is necessary.
If you beat, however, you must beat justly. Do not lose your temper, and do not beat in anger. No one may beat their children in anger. Something is wrong with you when you are angry. Brothers and sisters, when your children do something wrong, and you beat them in your anger, you should realize that you also should be beaten. You must calm down first before God. As long as you are angry, you cannot chastise anyone.
Some problems must be settled by beating. But you must show the child what you are beating him for. If you need to beat him, you also need to show him his fault. You must show him his fault each time you beat him. You must tell him what his fault is. It is not enough to try to stop his fault by beating him. You have to explain to him that you are beating him because he is wrong in certain things.
Every time you beat a child, you must not do it in a common way. You must show him that beating is a big thing. The whole family has to know about it. All the adults and children have to come together. The father or the mother has to carry out the beating like a surgeon performing an operation. A doctor does not cut with a knife out of anger; he cuts to remove a problem. In the same way a parent must not punish in anger; he or she must be calm. Parents must never beat their children in a state of fury. On the one hand, they must point out the fault. On the other hand, they must not be angry in any way.
How should you do it? I have a suggestion. By the time you have a cane in your hand, the child must have committed some very serious wrong. While you are holding the cane in your hand, you should ask the child’s brother to fetch a pail of warm water and his sister to fetch a towel. Then you have to show the child what he has done wrong. You have to tell him that anyone who has done something so serious must be punished severely. He should not flee from his mistakes. Fleeing from punishment is wrong as well. A person must be bold to receive punishment if he is bold to commit sin. Tell him that he has done something wrong and that you have no choice but to punish him. The beating is for him to realize his wrong. You may beat him two times or you may beat him three times. Perhaps the child’s hand will bruise and bleed from the beating. You should then ask his brother to soak the bruised hand in the warm water to relieve the blood circulation. Afterward you should wipe the child’s hand with the towel. You have to do this ceremoniously. Show them that there is only love in the family; there is no hatred. I believe this is the right way to punish.
Today much of the punishment in the family is the result of anger and hatred, not love. You say that you love your children, but who will believe you? I will not. You must let them know where they are wrong. Let them know that their father is not beating them in hatred. When you beat, do it properly. After you beat them, you should take them to bed. If the offense is too serious, the mother or the father can share two of the child’s stripes. You have to tell the child, “This matter is too serious. I have to beat you five times. But I am afraid that you cannot take it if I give you five stripes. So your mother will share two of them and your father will share one of them on your behalf. You yourself must still take the other two stripes.” You have to show him that this is a serious and grave matter. He will remember not to sin freely for the rest of his life.
This is the Lord’s discipline; it is not the discipline of your temper. It is the Lord’s admonition, not the admonition of your temper. I do not stand with the temper of any parent. The temper of the parents will ruin the future of their children. The parents must learn to have true punishment for their children. But, at the same time, they must also learn to love. This is the proper way to have a Christian family.
Finally, I would say that many men whom God used in this world came from great parents. Beginning with Timothy, we find numerous men used by God who came from great parents. John Wesley was one of them. Another one was John Newton. There are many hymns in our hymnal written by Newton. John G. Paton was another one. He was one of the most famous missionaries in the modern world. I can think of no other father like his father. In his old age Paton still remembered, “Every time I wanted to sin, I remembered my father, who was always praying for me.” His family was very poor. There was only one bedroom, one kitchen, and another small room. He said, “I trembled every time my father prayed and sighed in the small room. He was making petition for our souls. Even though I am so old now, I can still remember his sighing. I thank God for giving me such a father. I cannot sin, because when I sin, I transgress against my heavenly Father as well as my earthly father.” It is difficult to find a father like Paton’s father, and it is difficult to find a son as great as Paton.
I cannot tell you how many strong believers would be raised up in our second generation if all the parents of this generation would be good parents. I have always wanted to say this: The future of the church depends on the parents. When God bestows grace on the church, He needs vessels. There is the need for more Timothys to be raised up. It is true that we can save men from the world, but there is a greater need for raising up people from among Christian families.