Second, parents must not only realize their responsibility and sanctify themselves for the sake of their children; they must also walk with God.
One sanctifies himself for the sake of his children. But this does not mean that he can be loose and careless when he is by himself. He should not exercise self-control merely for the sake of his children. The Lord Jesus was not short of holiness in Himself. He did not sanctify Himself just for the sake of His disciples. If the Lord Jesus sanctified Himself merely for the sake of His disciples, but was not holy in Himself, He would have been a total failure. In the same way, parents must sanctify themselves for their children, but they themselves must also walk with God.
No matter how much zeal you show in your children’s presence, they can easily see through you if you are not genuinely zealous. They are very clear, but you may not be that clear. You may be a very loose person yet act carefully in their presence. In reality you are not the person you pretend to be. Please remember that your children can see through you easily. If you are a careless person and you try to act in a discreet way before your children, they will easily detect your carelessness and pretension. You must not only sanctify yourself before them for their sake, but you must also be genuinely holy in yourself, walking with God as Enoch did.
I would like to draw your attention to the example of Enoch. Genesis 5:21-22 says, “Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah: and Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.” Before Enoch was sixty-five years old, we do not know his condition. After he begat Methuselah, we know that he walked with God three hundred years. Then he was taken up by God. This is a special case in the Old Testament. Before Enoch begat children, we do not know anything about his condition. But after Enoch begat Methuselah, the Bible says that he walked with God. When the burden of the family was upon him, he started to feel his weakness. He felt that his responsibility was too great and that he could not manage it by himself. So he began to walk with God. He did not walk with God just in the presence of his son; he walked with God even when he was by himself. He felt that if he did not walk with God, he would not know how to raise his children. Enoch begat not only Methuselah but also many other children; nevertheless, he walked with God for three hundred years. His responsibility as a parent did not hinder him from walking with God; rather, it caused him to walk with God. Eventually, he was raptured. Please remember that the first person who was raptured was a father. The first person to be raptured was one who had many children and yet who still walked with God. The way one bears his responsibility in a family is a reflection of his spiritual condition before God.
We must see that in order for us to bring our children to the Lord in a genuine way, we need to be a person who walks with God. We cannot send our children to heaven merely by pointing our fingers to heaven. We have to walk in front of them. Only then can we ask our children to follow us. Even though Christian parents want their children to be better than they are in the hope that their children will not love the world and will go on in a positive way, there are many bad families because the parents themselves draw back. If this is the case, they will never realize their goal no matter how hard they try. We must remember that the standard of the children cannot be higher than the standard of their parents. This does not mean that we should set a false standard. We should have a standard that is genuine and spiritual. If we have this, our children will come up to our standard.
Please forgive me for saying something that sounds simple and elementary. I once went to visit a family and saw the mother beating her child because the child lied. However, both the father and the mother in this family also lied. I learned that they lied on many occasions. But when their child lied, he was beaten. Honestly speaking, the child’s real mistake was only a deficiency in his technique of lying; he was caught lying. The only difference between the child and the parents was that one was caught lying while the others were not. It was not a matter of whether one lied, but a matter of skill. One lied, and he was caught and punished. If you have a double standard, how can you raise your children? How can you tell your children not to lie when you are a liar yourself? You must not have one standard for your life and another standard for your child’s life. This will never work. Suppose your children see and receive nothing but lies and dishonesty from you. The more you punish them, the more problems you will have. Some fathers tell their sons, “Wait until you are eighteen, and I will let you smoke.” Many children say in their heart, “When I am eighteen, my father will let me lie. I am not yet eighteen, so I cannot lie. But when I am eighteen, I will lie.” This pushes your children into the world. You must walk with God as Enoch did, in order to raise your children as Enoch did. If you do not walk with God, you cannot expect to raise your children the way Enoch did.
Please remember that your children will learn to love what you love, and hate what you hate. They will learn to treasure what you treasure, and condemn what you condemn. You must set a moral standard for yourself and your children. Whatever your moral standard is, that will be their standard as well. Your standard of loving the Lord will be their standard of loving the Lord. There can be only one standard in a family, not two.
I know of a family whose father is a nominal Christian. He never goes to church, but he wants his children to go every Sunday. Every Sunday morning, he gives a little money to each of his children and tells them to go to church. The money is for the children to make offerings. Later in the day, he plays a game of mahjong with his three friends. His children, however, spend the money on snack food. They play until the pastor is almost through with his sermon, and then they sneak into the building to hear a verse or two. When they go home, they give their father a nice report. They have snacks, they get to play, and they make a report. This, of course, is an extreme case.
I hope we can see that God has committed our children to us. There can be only one standard in the family. Whatever we forbid our children to do, we should not do. There must never be two standards in a family, one for the children and another for us. We must keep the same standard for our children’s sake. We must sanctify ourselves to maintain a standard. Once the standard is set, we must maintain it. I hope we will all take good care of our children. They are constantly watching us. Whether or not they behave well depends on whether we behave well. They are not merely listening to us; they are watching us as well. They seem to know everything. They know if we are pushing them around, and they know if we are acting in front of them. We should not think that we can deceive our children. No! They cannot be deceived. They know how we feel, and they are clear about the true picture. Whatever we demand of our children, we must take the same position in that matter.
After Enoch begat Methuselah, he walked with God three hundred years. What a beautiful picture this is! He begat many children, yet he could walk with God three hundred years. He was a genuine father without any pretense. Such a walk is altogether proper in the eyes of God.