One also must exercise politeness in the family. It is repugnant for anyone to be impolite to others. You should treat everyone politely, no matter who he or she may be. No matter how familiar you are with a friend, you should never give up your manners. As soon as you give them up, you will lose him. No matter how close you are to others, you will lose them the moment you give up your manners. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul told us that love does not behave unbecomingly. Love does not allow anyone to give up his manners. Please remember that problems at home often arise because of small matters. It is often at home that a person behaves with unbecoming manners. Most people think that they can throw away their manners because their wife or husband is so familiar to them. Please remember that the joy and pleasure of human relationships have much to do with manners. As soon as you throw away proper manners, the ugly side of human nature will surface. No matter how familiar people are with one another, they must maintain proper manners between them. A brother put it aptly once when he said that manners are like the lubricating oil in a machine. The machine will run smoothly only with the lubricating oil. When two persons are together and manners are lacking, friction will arise and uncomfortable feelings will breed.
In the home, we have to learn to always say, “Thank you” and “I am sorry.” We should take care of polite words such as thank you, may I, I am sorry, and please. If you do not know how to use these words, you cannot even make friends, let alone succeed at home. Christians must remember that love does not behave unbecomingly. You must learn to say, “I am sorry,” “Thank you,” and “May I” at home. Learn to speak polite words in the family.
In the family not only must our words be proper and polite, but even the way we dress has to be proper and tidy. Everyone wants to dress properly in front of their friends. But one should dress properly in his family as well. You must dress neatly and be proper with your clothing. Love does not behave unbecomingly. Do not be loose through familiarity. Once you become familiar, you become loose, and it is easy to act impolitely. Familiarity breeds disrespect and contempt. Husbands and wives are already very familiar with each other. If propriety is absent, more familiarity will breed. Therefore, be proper in the way you dress yourselves. Do not save your sloppy dress for wearing at home.
One must also be proper in his conduct. Whenever one serves something, it is best to serve it on a plate and to offer it to others with both hands. If he has only one hand to spare, he should still be proper in his attitude. When he passes a knife to others, he should avoid pointing the sharp end at others. When he passes a pair of scissors to others, he should avoid giving the others the pointed end. When he serves others something, he should present it properly and not throw it at them. We have to pay particular attention to these little gestures around the house. The difference between throwing something at others and handing it to them is only three seconds. But what a great difference it makes! Therefore, learn to have manners.
I cannot say that I have known many families, but I cannot say that I have known few either. When a person is discreet at home, his family will have less problems. I have observed that when a husband and wife are polite to each other, there is more peace and less noise from the plates and chopsticks. Where manners are wanting and things are thrown around, the family is full of friction. If a husband and wife are polite to each other at home, they will at least be able to maintain a peaceful family.
I believe that if many wives treated their friends the way they behaved in their family, no one would want to come to their houses. I also believe that if many husbands treated their colleagues the way they behaved at home, none of their colleagues would want to work with them. I want to tell the brothers that their wives have been very tolerant with them. They have tolerated what no colleagues would tolerate. I also want to tell the wives that their husbands have been very tolerant with them. If they treated their best friends the same way, their friends would desert them. Being impolite is an expression of crudeness. No Christian may be crude. A person who has learned the proper lessons will never be an impolite person.