Some people are not only affectionate but also kind. They do not want to hurt or offend anyone and are always considerate of others. If one chooses a husband or a wife who is also kind and considerate, who is happy to preserve the pride of others, and who never wants to embarrass others, he or she will always feel happy and optimistic. When he moves in one direction, the tide will seem to follow him in the same direction. Life will be easy for him. But suppose the other party is totally different. Suppose she always turns the opposite direction and is harsh and demanding toward everyone and everything. He will face many problems in his marriage. Sometimes a person is kind not only toward people but also to cats and dogs. If such a one has a wife who always beats the dogs and cats, they will face problems. Some people are kind to people as well as to things. Others are insensitive to everything, not just to cats and dogs but also to people. It is quite a big problem for two persons with different personalities to live together. It is hard for one side to pull in one direction and the other side to pull in the other direction.
Consider another example. A brother may be very generous towards people and willing to give away anything. If a brother or sister comes to his house, he will bring out everything he has in the house. But suppose such a one marries a wife who cringes whenever people come for a meal, and who is worried that others will eat everything that she has. One would expect difficulties in such a marriage. This is not a moral failure but a personality problem. The personality of some people is such that they cringe when they have to share a little food with others. When guests come, they purposely serve poor things and hold back the good things. This is clearly a problem of personality, not of morality. This person always leans in one direction. If the generous person marries a wife who likes to give away everything just as he does, he will feel that he is sailing downstream; he will be happy. But if there is any incompatibility in personality, the two sides will be pulling in opposite directions, and the couple will live in heated arguments all the time. This will become quite a problem.
Some people are very candid by nature. They not only are frank but they also like to be candid. Other people are cautious by nature. They not only are cautious themselves but they also like other people to be cautious. Problems will occur if these two come together. Please remember that there is nothing wrong with being candid, and there is nothing wrong with being cautious. This is not a problem of morality but of personality. Here is a person who is cautious, quiet, and introspective. Next to him is one who is candid and open in everything. The cautious one should not criticize the candid one, nor should the candid one criticize the cautious one. Both are wonderful people. This is not a matter of morality but of personality. One loves to be candid, while the other loves to be cautious. The candid one feels that the other person is too slow, while the cautious one feels that the other person moves too fast. Both suffer. If a candid person meets another candid person, both will go on happily. If a cautious person meets another cautious person, they will also get along with each other smoothly.
Some people are very thoughtful; they weigh everything carefully and consider it thoroughly. But others are impulsive in everything they do. They act first and think and talk about it later. Again, this is not a matter of morality but of personality. A thoughtful one should not criticize an impulsive one. Rather, he should find a thoughtful wife. An impulsive one should find an impulsive wife. In this way, both will live in peace. If a thoughtful person marries an impulsive wife, it will create quite a problem because each one will be pulling in the opposite direction.