In the Bible God acknowledges the validity of sex. There is nothing wrong with the consciousness of sex or sex itself. The consciousness of sex is not sin; in fact, it is holy. However, this is true only within the context of a marriage. In a marriage, sex is good and holy. But any sexual consciousness or sexual act outside the bounds of oneness is sin. Have you seen the difference? What is sin? It is sex outside of marriage. Why? Because sex outside of marriage is a breach of the oneness of a marriage. Therefore, sex is a sin only when it destroys the oneness. Sex has nothing to do with sin when it is sex alone. Sex itself is not sinful. We must see this clearly before the Lord.
In Matthew 5:28 the Lord Jesus said, “But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The word looks here involves the will. It is not just seeing a woman but looking at her. Seeing is passive, while looking is active. This looking is followed by the phrase in order to lust after her. It is not a passing lustful thought that comes to one’s mind when he sees a woman, but a look at a woman that is for the purpose of lusting after her. Lusting comes first, and then looking. This look is the second look, not the first look. The first look is a random look at a woman on the street. The second look is to actually look at her. Between the first look and the second look, a lustful thought has come in. The second look is therefore for the purpose of lusting after a woman. The second look is the third step in the process. The Lord Jesus is not talking about the first look, but the look which is the third step. When some see a woman on the street, they do not control themselves and lust after her. Satan injects lustful thoughts into men, and they turn and look the second time. The second look is sin. Sin is having lustful thoughts and looking at someone the second time.
Matthew 5 says that everyone who looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The Lord Jesus is not referring to the first look. It is wrong to involve the first look in this discussion. Suppose I see a woman on the street by accident. Satan may inject lustful thoughts into me. If I reject them, that is the end of it. But if I turn and look at her again, that is sin. Please bear in mind that the consciousness of sex is not sin. It becomes sin only when there is the consent of the will. When such a consent of the will happens outside the context of marriage, the oneness is destroyed by the will. It is sin to destroy the oneness in one’s conduct. In God’s eyes, it is sin also to destroy the oneness in one’s will.
In the Old Testament, only adultery is spoken of as sin; fornication is not mentioned as sin. The Old Testament forbids only adultery, because man did not have enough knowledge of himself yet. What is adultery? Adultery is sin committed by those who are married. What is fornication? Fornication is sin committed by those who are not married. The act is the same, but the sin is not the same. We can say that a prostitute commits only fornication, but not adultery, because she is not married. We have to realize that God does not want man to commit fornication. The Old Testament speaks only of the sin of those who are married; it does not speak of those who are not married. It does not mean that there is no such thing in the Old Testament, but the term is not there. Here we see that the act that destroys oneness—adultery—is sin. But the act that does not destroy oneness—fornication—is sin as well.
We need to see that adultery is sin and that fornication is also sin. To destroy the oneness of the married ones is sin. Fornication, which happens to those who are not married and which seemingly does not destroy oneness is also sin. Christians should not commit adultery; neither should they commit fornication. We must see that sex is holy; sex consciousness is not a sin. Sex within marriage is holy and is not a sin. But if you are married and have sex outside of marriage, that is adultery. If you are not married but have sex, that is fornication. As believers we must not commit adultery, and we must not commit fornication.