Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because the oneness has already been broken. Originally, the wife was one with her husband. When the husband commits adultery, she becomes free. When the oneness was there, she had to preserve it. Now that the oneness has been broken by the husband, the wife is free. Thus, adultery is the only condition for divorce. A wife can leave her husband if he has committed adultery. If a sister finds her husband committing adultery or taking another woman, she can divorce her husband, and the church cannot stop her. She can divorce her husband, and she can remarry. Anything that destroys the oneness is sin. A person can leave his or her spouse only where adultery is involved, because adultery has destroyed the oneness. Divorce is but a declaration that the oneness between a husband and a wife is gone. Since the oneness is gone, one can remarry.
Matthew 19 and Luke 16 are two clear passages concerning this subject, and we have to pay much attention to them. Divorce is based on adultery. Adultery breaks the original oneness between a husband and a wife. The two are no longer one, but have become two. Therefore, they can divorce. They can divorce each other because there is no more oneness between them. Actually a divorce has already occurred when one party commits adultery; it does not begin with the divorce proceedings. The so-called divorce proceedings are but a procedure. Marriage begins with the declaration of oneness, and divorce is a declaration that such a oneness no longer exists. This is why divorce is permitted where adultery is found. A divorce that is not based on adultery means that both parties are committing adultery. Suppose neither a husband nor a wife has committed adultery. They cannot have a divorce even if they cannot get along with each other. Once they divorce each other, they have committed adultery. If the oneness has not yet been broken when one tries to remarry, he or she is in reality committing adultery. Only when the oneness no longer exists can a person remarry.
We need to know what marriage is. Marriage means oneness; it means that two persons are no longer two, but one flesh. Adultery destroys this oneness, while divorce is but an announcement of the destruction of this oneness. Today if the oneness is gone between two persons, a remarriage is justified. But suppose the oneness is still there. The two may quarrel bitterly, they may not get along with each other, and they may threaten to divorce each other. The world and civic laws may even allow them to divorce each other. But in God’s eyes, the two still cannot divorce each other. If they divorce each other, they have committed adultery in reality. Divorce is allowed only where adultery has already occurred. We must see that no one can separate what God has joined together. Since there is already a union, one must never try to break it for any reason at all.
The Bible allows widows and widowers to remarry for the same reason. Marriage is something that lasts till death. In resurrection there is no marriage relationship. In resurrection men neither marry nor are given in marriage (Matt. 22:30). Marrying and being given in marriage are things of this world. The angels neither marry nor are given in marriage. Resurrected men likewise neither marry nor are given in marriage. Marriage is a thing of this age, not of the next age. Therefore, marriage ends with death. After one’s partner dies, he or she may remain unmarried for the sake of cherished affection. But the Bible says nothing to forbid him or her from remarrying someone else.
Consider the teaching in Romans 7 which says that every Christian is a remarried person. We were remarried through the death and resurrection of Christ. Romans 7 shows us that a wife is bound by the law to her husband as long as he is alive. After the husband dies, the wife can marry another man. Whoever marries another man while her husband is alive is an adulteress. If we are not yet dead to the law or if we are Seventh-day Adventists, yet we are married to Christ, all of us are adulteresses. Thank God, we have only one husband. The Seventh-day Adventists have two husbands. Romans 7 says that we could not belong to Christ as long as the law was still alive; if we had belonged to Christ then, we would have been adulteresses. We were originally married to the law, and we belonged to the law. However, we have died through Christ. Today, when we turn to Christ, we are not adulteresses. All of us have been remarried to Christ. We are dead to the law, and we are not adulteresses. Romans 7 tells us that a wife is bound to her husband until his death. After the husband dies, the wife is free. It is wrong for anyone in the church to think that widows should not remarry. This is a heathen concept.
It is all right if a widow wants to remain single like a virgin. Paul said, “It is good for them if they remain even as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8). To live alone like a virgin for the sake of serving the Lord is right, but to remain unmarried because of criticism and social pressure is wrong. I hope that this concept can be removed from the church.
Paul told Timothy, “I will therefore that younger widows marry” (1 Tim. 5:14). The same applies to widowers. Today the issue is whether or not one has the need for marriage. Some have a physiological need. Others have a psychological need; they would feel lonely if they did not marry again. Some have a need because of their family. It is all right for a brother or a sister to remarry after his or her spouse has died. No Christian should criticize another on this matter. We need to eradicate all heathen concepts from our mind.