There is a third aspect. In his first Epistle, Peter said that the wives are “fellow heirs of the grace of life” (3:7). In other words, God delights to see husbands and wives serving Him together. God delighted to see Aquila and Prisca serving Him. He delighted to see Peter and his wife, Judah and his wife, serving Him together.
Therefore, there are three basic elements of a Christian marriage. First, there is mutual help; second, there is the prevention of sin; and third, there is the joint inheritance of grace of two persons in the presence of God. One should not be a Christian alone but a Christian together with another person. One should not inherit grace alone but together with another person.
The Bible also shows us that even though there is the consciousness of sex, this consciousness is not very strong with some people, and so there is no need for such a one to fulfill this need. The Bible advises such persons to keep their virginity.
Virginity does not make one more holy spiritually. However, a virgin can surely devote all his or her physical energy to the Lord’s work. This also is spoken of in 1 Corinthians 7.
Paul shows us that there are three problems in marriage. First, marriage is a bondage. He says, “Have you been bound to a wife?” (v. 27). Often, a person is not free after he is married; once he is married he becomes occupied with many things. He is bound by his wife and has to take care of many things. Second, those who are married have affliction. Paul said, “But such ones will have affliction in the flesh” (v. 28). When a person is married, the affliction in the flesh increases, and it is hard for him to serve the Lord with a single heart. Third, those who are married care for the things of the world (vv. 32-34). In Matthew 13 the Lord indicates that these cares are like thorns which can easily choke the growth of the seed. The result can be barrenness (v. 22). In short, marriage brings in family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and anxiety.
Paul’s words are not only for the co-workers but also for all the brothers and sisters. A person who keeps his virginity can be spared many difficulties. Paul did not command these ones to keep their virginity, but his words show his inclination toward this choice. Paul did not have any opinion of his own; he was merely telling the brothers the facts. Marriage is good, and it prevents the danger of sinning. But marriage also brings a person into family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and the anxieties of this world.
Following this, Paul shows us the type of person who can keep his virginity. He said some have the gift from God to keep their virginity. It is a gift from God to keep one’s virginity. One person receives one kind of gift from God. Another person receives another kind of gift from God. If I need to marry, marriage is a gift from God; it takes a gift from God to marry. This is why Paul said, “But each has his own gift from God, one in this way, the other in that” (1 Cor. 7:7). Those who keep their virginity have the gift of God, and also those who are married have the gift of God.
The first condition for keeping one’s virginity is that a person have only sex consciousness but no sex compulsion. Some people have the compulsion of sex. Others have only the consciousness of sex but not the compulsion. Only those who do not have a compulsion for sex can keep their virginity.
Second, a person must have the desire to remain single and must be firm in his heart. Verses 36 and 37 say, “But if any one think that he behaves unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must be, let him do what he will, he does not sin: let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well” (New Translation, J. N. Darby). Paul shows us that to keep one’s virginity, the person must have the intention and willingness to keep it. If anyone thinks that it is wrong to keep his virginity, he can marry. If a person has the intention and the inclination to remain single, and if he is firm in his heart to keep his virginity, he can keep it. Hence, firmness in heart is a necessary requirement.
Third, such a decision must not be in conflict with one’s circumstances. Verse 37 says, “Having no need.” Some have special considerations in their circumstances, and it is not easy for them to keep their virginity. Some may create many problems with their family if they keep their virginity. Hence, there must be the environmental provision before one can keep his virginity.
Paul shows us the three basic conditions for keeping one’s virginity: They are (1) having no compulsion, (2) standing firm in one’s heart, and (3) not creating problems in one’s environment. Only when one meets all three conditions can he keep his virginity.