In 4:11-13 we see the relationship between contentment and forbearance. In verse 11 Paul testifies, “I have learned, in whatever circumstances I am, to be content.” In verse 12 he goes on to say, “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in everything and in all things I have learned the secret both to be filled and to hunger, both to abound and to be in want.” Because Paul had learned the secret of contentment, he was able to forbear with all the churches and all the saints. He says, “I can do all things in Him who empowers me” (v. 13). According to the context, this includes the ability to make His forbearance known to the saints.
Consider Paul’s situation when he wrote the book of Philippians. His circumstances were not at all positive. He was a prisoner in Rome; he was opposed by the religionists; and even the saints, including the Philippians who had been faithful to supply his needs in the past, neglected him for a period of time. In 4:10 Paul says, “But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you caused your thinking for me to blossom anew; wherein you did indeed take thought, but you lacked opportunity.” The words blossom anew imply that Paul had passed through a “winter” in his experience, but now it was “spring,” with the Philippians’ concern for him blossoming anew. Although Paul alluded to his “winter” experience and the saints’ temporary neglect of him, he exercised great understanding in writing to them. As he was composing this epistle, he exercised forbearance. Thus, the apostle Paul, one who was full of understanding concerning the situation and concerning the saints, was an excellent pattern of forbearance.
Often we are not forbearing because of misunderstanding. In the church life often we may not understand the brothers and sisters. In our family life we may fail to understand our husband or wife. This lack of understanding causes a lack of forbearance. Suppose Paul had misunderstood the Philippians. He certainly would not have written them such a marvelous epistle. Instead, he might have pointed out that when he most needed their help, it was not forthcoming. Now that they remembered him and sent him a gift, it arrived too late. Paul, however, had a full understanding of God’s economy and His move; he also understood the subtlety of Satan’s attack. Moreover, he understood the saints in Philippi and their situation. To him everything was crystal clear. Thus, on his part there was no misunderstanding. He could exercise much forbearance in writing to the believers in Philippi.
In writing to the Philippians, Paul also exercised wisdom. He knew what to say and how much to say. If we read this epistle carefully, we shall realize that Paul’s wording is very exact. Paul wrote in a way that was neither too lengthy nor too brief. Here we see Paul’s wisdom.
Paul needed to exercise wisdom in writing to the Philippians, and there is the need for us also to exercise wisdom in our married life. Husbands need wisdom in speaking with their wives, and wives need wisdom in sharing matters with their husbands. Here I would emphasize the need for the wife to have wisdom toward her husband. Suppose a sister intends to talk about a particular matter with her husband. Before she says anything, she needs to exercise understanding, consideration, and wisdom. If she speaks to him at the wrong time or if she says too much to him concerning the subject at hand, she may cause him to become angry not only with her, but also with others in the church life, even with the elders. Sometimes a husband becomes upset with the elders simply because his wife gives him information without exercising understanding, consideration, and wisdom. Even in passing on information to her husband, a sister needs a great deal of forbearance. For this, she needs a proper understanding of her husband and of his situation. If she realizes that her husband is a quick person, one who reacts hastily to things and who is easily angered or upset, she needs to consider how to help him to be patient and slow down. In particular, she needs to consider how much she should speak to him. Perhaps at first she should share only part of the information. Before saying more, she should consider the atmosphere and discern whether it is the proper time for her husband to hear more. She may share something at one time, something further at another time, and the remainder at still another time. If the sister is forbearing, exercising understanding, consideration, and wisdom, the result of her speaking with her husband will be very profitable both for their married life and for the church life.