God sovereignly arranged the environment and circumstances pertaining to Jacob's life. When Jacob and Esau were in their mother's womb, they fought over who would be born first (25:22-26). Jacob was subtle and seemed to be saying, "We are both in the womb. Whoever gets out first will be the firstborn and have the birthright. I must not lose the birthright." Thus, Jacob began to fight. Under God's sovereignty, Jacob had a smart mind, but he did not have much physical strength. Esau, on the contrary, was not so intelligent, but he was physically strong and defeated his brother, not allowing him to be born first. Although Esau suffered the cheating of Jacob's mind, Jacob was defeated by Esau's strength. If Jacob had had both a smart mind and great physical strength, Esau could not have done anything and Jacob could have had whatever he wanted. But God was very wise and seemed to say, "Jacob, I'll let you have a smart mind, but I will not give you much physical strength. Your brother may be dull, but I shall make him stronger than you. You will have a smart mind, and he will have a strong body." Thus, even before he was born, Jacob was defeated by Esau and was born the second.
Although Jacob was defeated, he would not admit that he had been defeated. Instead, he held on to Esau's heel (25:26), indicating that he refused to admit defeat. The same is true with us. Many times we are defeated by our Esau, but we do not admit it and still hold on to his heel. Sometimes the sisters are defeated by their husbands, but, refusing to admit defeat, they hold on to the husband's heel. At other times, the husbands are defeated by their wives and they become the heel holders. Perhaps even today you have had such an experience. We all are Jacobs. God has chosen us, and we are under His dealing hand.
Let me share something from my own experience. I have been in a number of local churches. In every church the elders felt that they were under my dealing, but I felt that I was suffering their dealing. In the first two or three places I was not clear, but later I became very clear about God's dealing hand. I came to realize that one of the elders was my Esau, that another was my Isaac, that still another was my Rebekah, and that I was their Jacob. I needed all of them. God can never be wrong. All the co-workers, elders, and leading sisters whom God has given me have always been my opposite. For example, when I preferred to have a careful person, God did not give me one. But every dealing has been a profit to me. Every incident has helped to transform me a little more. When certain things happened, I was unhappy with all the dear Isaacs, Rebekahs, and Esaus. But deep in my heart I could say, "Praise the Lord. I am thankful for everyone and everything."
It was no accident that Jacob was born to Isaac and Rebekah and that Esau was his brother. All this was prearranged by the Father for Jacob's transformation. From the time he was in his mother's womb, Jacob needed one to be physically stronger than he was. We often say that twins are the same. But if Jacob and Esau had been the same, Jacob could never have been dealt with. Jacob was a quiet man who always exercised his mind, and Esau was a hunter who exercised his physical strength. Thus, Esau was exactly what Jacob needed.
Do not be dissatisfied with your married life, for your husband or wife is the best one for you. Out of a hundred married people, probably not one husband would say that he is satisfied with his wife, and probably not one wife would say that she is satisfied with her husband. Before we were married, we all had a dream about married life. Eventually, our marriage turned out to be the opposite of our dream. But whatever our husband or wife is like, he or she is God's gift to us and is exactly what we need. Throughout my whole life I have never seen a person whose second marriage, after remarrying following a divorce, was better than the first. I know of some who were married four times and who have said that each marriage was worse than the preceding one. The marriage of those who have been chosen by God is under His sovereignty. Rebekah was brought to Isaac and she became his wife. Whether she was good or bad, she was Isaac's destiny. He had no choice. I have had much experience in spiritual life, in human life, and in married life, and I can advise you not to take your choice. If you make your own choice, you will suffer.