God spent another forty years to bring this capable yet disappointed man to the end. It is not an easy matter to terminate such a person. It took forty years of discipline to make Moses realize that he was not qualified to deliver God’s people out of Egypt and to bring them into the good land.
During his first few years in the wilderness, Moses might have complained about his fellow Hebrew who refused to recognize him as the deliverer of Israel. Moses might have said, “How blind he was! He didn’t realize that I was the one to deliver them. Because of him, I was forced to flee. No one among the children of Israel can do what I could have done. But now everything is ruined.” I believe that as year after year went by, Moses’ attitude began to change; eventually he no longer blamed others for his situation.
It is easy to educate a person, but it is very difficult to terminate him. But after those years in the wilderness, Moses was fully terminated. When God appeared to him in the burning thorn-bush, Moses considered himself good for nothing but death. Nevertheless, at that very juncture, when Moses thought that he was finished, God came in to call him.
God dealt with Moses and prepared him over a span of forty years (Acts 7:30). We know that Moses was dealt with just by the fact that he had to live in the wilderness after having been raised in the royal palace. Suppose someone raised in the United States is suddenly forced to live in a very backward country. Day by day that person will have the feeling that he is being dealt with. Moses, no doubt, had this feeling in the wilderness as he worked as a shepherd to care for a flock that did not even belong to him, but belonged to his father-in-law. Through such a dealing, Moses was gradually prepared.
After those years in the wilderness, Moses lost all confidence in himself (3:11; cf. 2:11-13). When God called him, Moses said, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant; but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue” (4:10). Why then does Stephen in Acts 7:22 say that Moses was “powerful in his words and deeds”? When Moses was forty, he was mighty in words and deeds. This means that he was eloquent. But after another forty years he lost confidence in himself; he regarded himself as one who was slow of speech. The record in Exodus 4 and the one in Acts 7 are both true. The record in Acts 7 applies to Moses at the age of forty, whereas the record in Exodus 4 applies to him at the age of eighty, after he had been dealt with and after his natural ability had been stripped away.
Few Christians really know God’s way of dealing with people. I have met a good number of saints who were extremely confident that they had received a burden from God to do a certain work for Him. However, without exception, as soon as they began to do something, God intervened to deal with them. Whenever we are so assured that we are called and burdened, we should expect God’s dealing. We may expect others to stand with us, but they oppose us instead. Disappointed by this rejection, we may decide to drop the burden altogether. But we cannot drop any burden that truly comes from God. If you can drop a burden this indicates that it was not of God in the first place. Whenever we have been burdened by the Lord, we cannot lay aside that burden, no matter how much others may oppose us. Although we may be extremely disappointed, the burden remains with us. Sooner or later, it rises up within us again.
No doubt, when Moses was forty years of age a burden came to him from the Lord. I am convinced that Moses’ parents, especially his mother, had consecrated him to God. No doubt Moses willingly accepted God’s burden.
However, because he was so confident that he had the ability and the power to carry out this burden, God arranged for him to be rejected. Moses must have been deeply disappointed. Year after year, God worked on Moses, not to eliminate the burden, but to terminate Moses’ natural ability and to cause him to have no confidence in himself.
Our problem is this: If we have a burden from the Lord, we tend to use our natural strength to carry it out. But if our natural strength is dealt with, then we tend to cast aside the burden. We do not separate God’s burden from our natural strength. We like to marry these two things, but God wants to divorce them, to keep the burden and to set aside our natural strength. Therefore, God took forty years to deal with Moses’ natural strength. In principle, He will do the same thing with us.
When God called Moses, Moses said that he was slow of speech. It seems that Moses was saying, “Lord, now that You have dealt with my ability, I no longer accept Your burden. I want to resign. I am not the right person to be sent to Pharaoh to deliver the children of Israel out of his hand. I am slow of speech. How can I speak to Pharaoh?” In speaking this way to the Lord, apparently Moses was sincere. God, however, was angry with him (4:14). This indicates that on Moses’ side there was some problem. God wanted to “hire” Moses, but Moses refused to accept the job. As Moses was bargaining with the Lord, God knew what was in his heart. Inwardly Moses might have been saying, “Lord, forty years ago I tried my best to rescue the children of Israel, but You didn’t allow me to succeed. I was rejected, and I had to flee to this wilderness, where I have been suffering for forty years. I have forgotten everything I learned in the royal palace. I have become nothing. Now You say that You want me to go to Pharaoh. When I was qualified, You fired me. But now that I am disqualified and incapable, You want to hire me.” Secretly, Moses might have been blaming the Lord. This might have been the reason God was not happy with him.
Both in Moses and in God there was something that was not expressed. Within Himself the Lord might have been saying, “Moses, I don’t need you to do anything. Don’t you see the thorn-bush there? It is burning, but it is not consumed. I want you simply to manifest Me. Moses, don’t reject the burden. Receive it, but don’t use your ability and strength to carry it out. Because you consider yourself ready for death, I can now use you. Moses, don’t reject Me. I do not intend to use you according to your natural concept. I want to use you in My way, as a thorn-bush that is burning without being consumed.”
It is not easy to do something for God without using our own strength or ability. Throughout the years I have been learning this very lesson, mainly through sufferings and failures. Often people have the attitude that if they are asked to do something, they should be able to do it their own way without interference or advice from others. Even elders in the church may have this attitude. Our feeling may be, “If you want me to do this, then please stay away and let me do it.” However, when God calls us to do something, He wants us to do it, but not by ourselves. When He calls us, it seems that God says, “Yes, I want you to do this, but I want you to do it by Me, not by yourself.” Our problem often is that if we cannot do a certain thing by ourselves, then we refuse to do it at all. This attitude has been a great hindrance to the work of the Lord’s recovery.
Many saints know that we need the church life, but, because they are disappointed, they are reluctant to come to the meetings. They are like the disappointed Moses in the wilderness who was dealt with by God until he lost his confidence. However, he was still willing to take up the Lord’s burden. Moses was burdened by God before he was forty years old. Nevertheless, Moses had to learn to cooperate with God without using his natural ability and strength. God’s call could not come until Moses had lost all his confidence in himself. In principle God deals with us in the same way. When we no longer trust ourselves, He comes in to call us.