In verse 22 Paul exhorts wives to be subject to their own husbands. Most wives appreciate and respect others’ husbands. Hence, the apostle exhorts the wives to be subject to their own husbands, no matter what kind of husbands they are.
Paul’s word about wives submitting to their own husbands indicates that there is the tendency for wives to compare their husbands with the husbands of others. Husbands may do the same thing regarding their wives. If we are short of grace and do not live in the light of God, we may make such comparisons. This is the subtlety of Satan to damage married life. During your engagement, you may have thought that the one you were planning to marry was the best. But after you married him, you may have begun to compare him with others. Therefore, Paul exhorted the wives to submit to their own husbands and not to make comparisons.
In the same principle, when Paul addresses the husbands, he exhorts them to love their own wives (vv. 28, 33). This indicates that they should not compare their wives with the wives of others. We must hate such comparisons. They originate with the enemy, Satan, and can lead to separation or even divorce. If we desire to live a life worthy of God’s calling, a life according to truth, by grace, and in love and light, we must not compare our wife or husband with others. Rather, wives should submit to their own husbands, and husbands should love their own wives.
According to Paul’s word in verse 22, wives are to be subject to their own husbands “as to the Lord.” The wives need to realize that in the eyes of the Lord the husband represents the Lord. The reason the wife must submit to her own husband is that in married life he is as the Lord. I doubt that many married sisters regard their husbands as the Lord. The situation regarding married life today is deplorable, filled with disobedience and rebellion. Nevertheless, as Christ is the Head of the church and the Savior of the Body, wives must be subject to their husbands as to the Lord. Sarah, the wife of Abraham, was a good example of this. According to 1 Peter 3:6, “Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.”
Wives must also take their husbands as the head. Verse 23 says, “For a husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church, being Himself the Savior of the Body.” As head of the wife, a husband typifies Christ as the Head of the church. In addition to being the Savior of the Body, Christ is also the Head of the church. The Savior is a matter of love, whereas the Head is a matter of authority. We love Christ as our Savior, but we must also be subject to Him as our Head. It ought to be the same in the relationship between wives and husbands.
In verse 24 Paul goes on to say, “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives to their husbands in everything.” The thought here is this: although husbands are not the savior of their wives as Christ is of the church, the wives still need to be subject to their husbands as the church is to Christ. According to divine ordination, the subjection of the wives to their husbands should be absolute, without any choice. This does not mean that they should obey their husbands in everything. To obey is different from being subject. In sinful things, things against God, the wives should not obey their husbands. However, they should still be in subjection to them.
In verse 33 Paul says that the wife should see that “she fear her husband.” Because the wife should respect her husband as the head, the one who typifies Christ as the Head of the church, she should fear her husband in the fear of Christ (v. 21). As the head of the wife, the husband is the representative of the Lord. For this reason, the wife should fear the husband.