In verse 7 Peter says that the husbands should dwell together with their wives according to knowledge. The phrase “according to knowledge” can easily be misinterpreted. Men who have more knowledge or education than their wives may fail to respect their wives. Peter is not referring to the knowledge of human education. For a husband to dwell together with his wife according to knowledge is to live with her in an intelligent and reasonable way. It is to be governed by spiritual knowledge that recognizes the nature of the marriage relationship and the weakness of the female, not governed by any passion or emotion.
Husbands, your relationship with your wife should be governed by spiritual knowledge; it should not be governed by the knowledge you have gained through your college education. Spiritual knowledge recognizes the nature of the marriage relationship. In married life, husbands need to have a spiritual knowledge that recognizes the weakness of the female. If we have this knowledge, we shall know that God created woman the weaker vessel simply for the nature of the marriage relationship. If there is to be a proper marriage relationship, both parties should not be equally strong. One party should be stronger than the other. Therefore, the brothers should not think that the weakness of their wives is something to be despised. No, we must realize that our wives’ weakness was created by God specifically for the purpose of the marriage relationship. Therefore, we need to understand the reason for the weakness of the female, and we need to understand the nature of the marriage relationship. This is to have our married life governed not by the knowledge from human education but by spiritual knowledge.
A husband’s relationship with his wife is certainly not to be governed by any passion or emotion. This means that in married life a husband should be governed neither by worldly knowledge nor by fleshly emotion. Instead, he must be governed by spiritual knowledge that recognizes that the weakness of the female was designed by God to fit in with the nature of the marriage relationship.
In verse 7 Peter also says that the husbands should assign honor to their wives as to the weaker, female vessel. The Greek word rendered “assigning,” aponemo, means to apportion, to portion out; hence, to assign to. The Greek word for honor is timeand means preciousness, valuable worth. The husbands should appreciate the preciousness, the valuable worth, of the wives, and apportion it, assign it, as honor to them duly and reasonably as to the weaker, female vessel.
Man, including woman, was made a vessel to contain God (Rom. 9:21, 23), and believers in Christ are vessels to contain Christ as the treasure (2 Cor. 4:7). The female, according to nature in God’s creation, is weaker than the male physically and psychologically. Although the wives, as female vessels, are weaker, they are still vessels of the Lord and can be vessels unto honor (2 Tim. 2:21), deserving a certain honor.
Peter tells the husbands to assign honor to their wives. A husband must give at least a certain measure of honor to his wife. If we see that a husband should honor his wife, we should realize that this implies some kind of submission to her. Submission always goes with honor. If you do not submit to a particular person, how can you honor that one? This would be impossible. Honoring someone always implies a certain degree of submission. As we have already pointed out, this is a word of balance. Husbands must honor their wives, and, no doubt, the wives must also honor their husbands.
A husband should not argue that because his wife is the weaker vessel, she should not be honored by him, the stronger vessel. Once again I would say that husbands need to recognize that the weakness of their wives was prepared by God for their marriage relationship. Even though the wife is the weaker vessel, in many aspects she is worthy of her husband’s honor. Therefore, the husband must assign honor to her.
Married life can be compared to a corporation, a business, that assigns a percentage of the yearly profits to its shareholders or owners. In our married life husbands must learn what percentage of the “profit” of the marriage “corporation” should go to the wife. The husband needs to know how much of the profit belongs to him and how much should be assigned to the wife. Husbands should not rob wives of their profit, of their honor. In married life a portion of the profit or honor must be assigned to the wife.
The husband’s assigning of honor to the wife should be according to knowledge. The phrase “according to knowledge” is related to “assigning honor as to the weaker, female vessel.” Of course, “according to knowledge” is also related to the matter of dwelling together with our wives. Our dwelling with our wives should be according to knowledge and also accompanied by the assigning of honor to our wives. This is the way to have a proper balance in our married life. If our married life lacks this balance, it will be like a scale with one side in the air and the other side down low. That kind of imbalance causes a very poor married life. The point here is that the balance in married life comes mainly from the husband assigning honor to the wife.
Often a husband will rob his wife of honor. He does not assign any portion of the honor, any part of the profits of the marriage corporation, to the wife. This practice is wrong.
As a result of my study of Peter’s writings, I have come to appreciate them very much. I especially appreciate the particular terms used by Peter. One of these terms is “assigning honor.” Brothers, have you ever realized that you are required to assign a certain amount of honor to your wives? Your wife may be weaker than you are and not as highly educated. Nevertheless, she is worthy of honor. The corporation of your married life has earned a large profit, and she deserves a share in it. As the husband, you need to know what portion of the honor, of the profit, should be assigned to her.
In assigning honor to the wife, the husband should be careful not to assign too much honor. I believe that Peter’s word about assigning honor implies that a husband should not give too much honor to his wife. If he honors her too much, he will spoil her. The husband should assign honor to his wife properly, giving her neither too little nor too much. I have seen marriages where the husband was so kind, good, generous, and humble that he assigned all the profit of the marriage corporation to his wife. That caused the wife to be spoiled.
Brothers, assigning honor to our wives should not be done foolishly, blindly, or ignorantly. It must be done according to knowledge. As husbands, we need to determine what is the right percentage of honor that should go to ourselves as the husbands and what percentage to our wives. If you assign honor to your wife in a proper way, the “business” of your married life will be healthy and sound. Your marriage will be secure and peaceful.