In the previous message we considered 3:1-6, Peter’s word to the wives concerning married life. In verse 1 Peter indicates that, as household servants are subject to their masters, so the wives should be subject to their own husbands. Then in verses 3 and 4 Peter points out that what is costly in the sight of God is the adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, which is the hidden man of the heart. Let us now go on to consider Peter’s word to husbands.
Verse 7 says, “The husbands, in like manner, dwelling together with them according to knowledge, assigning honor as to the weaker, female vessel, as also joint-heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” Peter’s word to husbands is quite different from Paul’s word in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3. Peter uses the phrase “in like manner,” a phrase that has bothered me. This phrase seems to indicate that as servants are subject to their masters, and wives to their husbands, so the husbands, in like manner, should be subject to their wives. I believe that Peter intends this phrase to mean that not only are wives to be in subjection to their husbands, but also husbands to their wives. (As we shall see, Peter’s word about husbands honoring their wives implies at least a certain amount of subjection to them.)
Some may think that saying that husbands are to be subject to their wives contradicts the word that wives should subject themselves to their husbands. Actually, as we shall see, this is not at all a matter of contradiction; it is a matter of balance. Neither Peter nor Paul says clearly that husbands should be subject to their wives. But Peter says that husbands should honor their wives, and Paul, that husbands should love their wives. In Ephesians 5:21 Paul says, “Being subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” This seems to indicate that a husband and wife are to be subject to each other.
The Bible is much wiser than we are. In particular, it is wiser than those who say they are concerned about human rights. The Bible is full of wisdom, for it always keeps things balanced.
What Peter says in verse 7 is a balance to what he says in the preceding six verses. Regarding married life, it would be pitiful to have verses 1 through 6 without verse 7. That may cause some to think that the females should be slaves of the males. But if we read the book of Genesis, we shall see that Abraham highly appreciated his wife, Sarah. Yes, according to 3:6 Sarah did call Abraham lord. However, she did not say this directly to him. Rather, this word was uttered before the Lord. Genesis 18:12 says, “Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” This word was not spoken directly to Abraham. There is no record in Genesis that Sarah ever called Abraham lord directly.
The proper practice between husbands and wives is that the wife should respect her husband as lord and subject herself to him, but the husband should not assume the position as being the lord over his wife. This means that a husband should not say, “Don’t you know that I am your lord? Even you yourself recognize me as lord.” It is wrong for a husband to have this attitude or to speak this way. Peter’s word is balanced. When he speaks concerning the husbands, he indicates by the phrase “in like manner” that the husbands should subject themselves to their wives.
Some readers of this book may think that in 3:1-7 we have two extremes. They may think that the first extreme is Peter’s word about wives being in subjection to their husbands, and the second, the indication that, in like manner, the husbands should be in subjection to their wives. Actually, what we have here is a word of balance. If our married life is to be balanced, we need to have two poles, or, if you prefer to say it this way, two extremes. One pole should be the wife’s subjection to the husband, and the other pole, the husband’s subjection to the wife. If we have these two poles in our married life, we shall be balanced, and we shall live our married life in a “temperate zone.” I enjoy living in a place where the climate is temperate, neither too hot nor too cold. The “climate” of our married life should also be temperate, moderate. In order to have such a climate, we need the two poles indicated clearly in 3:1 and implied in 3:7.