Now we shall see the last main point concerning the knowledge of life: light and life. From both the words of God and our own experiences, we see that light is especially related to life. We may say that it is due to our being enlightened that we receive life. And the measure of life we receive corresponds exactly with the measure of our enlightenment. Only the shining of light can bring forth life, and only the shining of light can increase life. Therefore, if we want to know life, we need to see the relationship between light and life.
We have said again and again that God’s intention in saving us is not for us to be evil men or good men, but to be life-men or God-men. Therefore, after we are saved, we should not merely attain to the standard of morality in our behavior and live out the goodness of man, but we should reach the standard of life in our living and live out the life of God. Hence, the way we take today is not the way of self-improvement but the way of life. Our pursuits are not improvement of behavior but growth in life. In order that we may go forward in the way of life, not swerving either to the left or to the right, we must be able to distinguish the difference between life and behavior.
Life and behavior are indeed different. In the very beginning, the Bible mentions two trees in the garden of Eden: one, the tree of life, and the other, the tree of good and evil. The tree of life denotes the life of God, while the tree of good and evil denotes good and evil behavior. The tree of life and the tree of good and evil are not one tree, but two trees. This shows us that life and behavior are really two different categories of things.
We need to see what the fundamental difference between life and behavior is. Simply speaking, life is natural growth, while behavior is human work. For example, consider a house and a tree. The house is the result of conduct, the product of human work, while the tree is an expression of life, of natural growth. The doors and windows of the house are put there by work; the flowers and leaves of the tree arrive there by growth. The house which is built demonstrates a kind of behavior; the tree which has grown proves a kind of life. The difference between these two is very evident. With us as Christians, the difference between behavior and life is just like this. That which is produced by exerting our own human effort is behavior, whereas only that which is produced from the growth of the life of God within us is life. Some brothers and sisters are very loving, patient, humble and meek. At first glance, it seems that they really have life, but actually these virtues are only a certain form of behavior worked out by themselves, not life grown out from within. Though their behavior has been much improved, their life has grown but little.
Although life and behavior are indeed different, yet in outward appearance these two are often very much alike, and it is difficult to distinguish between them. How can we differentiate between life and behavior?
Firstly, we can differentiate between them by their taste or smell. A form of behavior can closely resemble life, but it definitely does not have the taste or smell of life. For example, there may be two trees which outwardly appear the same; one, however, is a real tree with life, while the other is an artificial tree without life. On the real tree with life many fruits are borne, while on the artificial tree without life someone has placed some fruits. The fruits of both trees have the same form and the same color; there is hardly any difference in outward appearance. But if we simply smell or taste the fruit, we can immediately tell the difference. The real fruit is tasteful, but the artificial fruit is tasteless; it can only afford to be observed, not tasted. What we Christians manifest in our daily living is also like this. With some brothers and sisters, the form and the manner of their daily living seem very much of life; yet if you smell carefully, there is no smell of life. Some sisters come quite close in imitating Madame Guyon’s manner of prayer and fellowship, but the smell is not right. Some brothers imitate the humble manners of Jesus the Nazarene, but, though outwardly they really act the part, the smell is missing inwardly. Such are the works of men, not the growth of life; such is the acting out of behavior, not the living out of life. Thus, by its taste or smell we can discern whether a Christian’s living stems from life or is merely a form of behavior. All that stems from life has the taste or smell of life, the taste or smell of God; if it is only behavior, it has only the taste and smell of man.
Secondly, we can distinguish between life and behavior through the test of environmental changes. All that stems from life can stand the change of environment; though it suffers blows, it can still survive. It is not so with behavior. The moment a blow comes, the behavior is either changed in nature or is extinguished. For example, if we bury a seed of life in the earth, it will grow and bear much fruit. But if we bury a stone without life in the earth, nothing will issue from it. Many times it is very difficult to distinguish whether that which a Christian expresses is life or behavior; and at times, it is even hard to differentiate by its taste or smell. Then we can only let the change in environment be the test. When God allows all kinds of enticements, temptations, difficulties, or blows from the environment to come upon a Christian, if what he has is from the life of God, it can still survive after passing through all these circumstances, and it is even more manifested. This is because the life of God contains the great power of resurrection; it does not fear blow, destruction, or death, and cannot be suppressed by any adverse environment; on the contrary, it breaks through all, overcomes all, and flourishes incorruptibly forever. However, if what he has is merely from human behavior, once it meets adverse environment, blows, destruction or trials, it changes its nature or is extinguished. Since all human behavior issues from human labor, it cannot stand blows or destruction; neither can it overcome temptation or tests; once the environment changes, it finds it difficult to exist in the same way.
Once there was a sister who imitated Madame Guyon to such an extent that no matter what she encountered she was never troubled; she always took everything calmly. Not only had she learned to act like Madame Guyon outwardly; even the taste or smell resembled hers. But the day came when her most beloved son her “only son Isaac,” suddenly fell ill. Then all that she had learned escaped her, and she was more anxious than anyone. This proves that when she formerly showed no anxiety, it was of human effort; therefore, it could not stand the test.
Thus, we should not hastily judge the spiritual condition of brothers and sisters, neither should we be quick to praise the expression of their living. Our observation and feeling are often not reliable. Only what God has proven by time is accurate. What is merely of human behavior will fall with the passing of time; either it will change in nature, or it will be destroyed. That which stems from the life of God, however, will survive the passing of time. This testing by time is of God; it causes us to see what is life and what is behavior.
Let me refer here to some personal matters in order to illustrate the difference between life and behavior. Soon after I believed in the Lord, I heard that those in the seminaries were pious in their daily living, behavior and attitude and were also very reverent toward the Lord. When I heard that, I admired them greatly. Later, I also heard that someone, after being saved, became an entirely different person from before. When I heard this, I was even more moved. From then on, I determined to have the pious living of the students in the seminaries. I also wanted to be a Christian who was an entirely different person from before. Thus, every day I made an effort to behave and learn. Such doing and learning did not stem from life, but was due to outward influences and the admiration in my heart. I tried my best with my own effort to imitate others; hence, it was entirely a form of behavior.
Consider another example. At that time, the custom of celebrating the new year was still very prevalent among the Chinese. However, through the Lord’s deliverance, such things had no more ground within me. In the morning of the first day of that year, after I arose, I knelt down as usual to pray and read the Bible and fully experienced the presence of the Lord. When I finished praying and had risen, my mother told me to put on the new gown which was prepared for me. I took it casually, put it on, and went with my family to eat the new year feast. When I had eaten and returned to my room, I again knelt down and prayed, but I had strangely lost the presence of God within. I felt as if God within me had left. Then I had a deep feeling that I should not have worn that gown. I immediately took it off and put on my old gown. Then again I prayed. At this time I touched the presence of God; I felt that God had returned.
Oh, brothers and sisters, this is life! This was not an outward encouragement, resolution or behavior; neither was it a teaching, practice, or imitation. It was the life of God in my deepest part giving me a certain consciousness and making known to me that I should not wear that new gown. This consciousness within was also the power of life, rescuing me. From that day forth, the custom of festivity fell completely away from me. How different this is from the previous example of outward admiration and imitation. This is the expression of life.
In 1940 in Shanghai, there was a training meeting for the co-workers, and many came. At that time a brother told me: “If the growth in life of the brothers and sisters who are staying here is not adequate, they will have to act more.” These words are quite meaningful, for in that environment, one will naturally act to be a little more pious and a little more spiritual. All these activities are not life.
Whenever, because of the influence of a certain environment or due to admiration or fear, we respond with a certain way of living, such living is merely an act, a form of behavior; and one day, when the environment changes, it too will change. Thus, our living must not be the result of the influence of environment, but of the sense of life within. When the outward environment suits me, I live thus; when the outward environment does not suit me, I also live thus. The environment may change, but my living should not change. Such living then is of life.
Now that we have seen the difference between life and behavior, we should examine our own living and check it point by point. How much of it is not a performance? How much is not imitation? How much of it is lived out from the life within us? Once we examine ourselves in this way, we will immediately see that much of it is only behavior, imitation, submission and adaptation to certain outward regulations because of outward influence; very little of it is lived out by the life within. This indicates that we have not completely forsaken the behavior of human labor.
How then can we leave the behavior of human labor and live out life? We must realize that behavior is born of another’s encouragement and teaching or one’s own imitation or practice, whereas life springs from the enlightening of God. Behavior does not require any enlightenment; it can be worked out by human effort. Life, however, can be produced only by the shining of light. Therefore, if we want to be delivered from our behavior and live out life, we must be enlightened. Without enlightening, we can at most work out behavior; but with the shining of light, we can live out life.