Question: The most difficult thing in our service to the Lord is that we do not know how to understand God’s will and touch God’s word. It is truly difficult for us to stop ourselves. Recently we have sensed a dryness in our service. Then the Lord added a few Taiwanese sisters, and we felt that we should visit them, but two brothers said that we should not go. Hence, we did not know whether we should stop or visit them. After we prayed, some had the feeling that we should not be too hasty and go too soon, lest the sisters withdraw. However, we eventually went, and there was no incident. I would like to ask, How do we know whether a certain matter is of ourselves or of God?
Answer: Those who serve the Lord must thoroughly see, at least once, that their service must originate from God. Many have not seen the Lord in their service; they think that it is good as long as they serve God. There are many who have this kind of thought and view. Hence, the basic problem is whether or not we have seen, at least once, that our service to God must originate from Him, not from ourselves.
If we all have this light, our problems will be solved easily. Many people, however, have not seen this light. Instead, they try to analyze whether their service is according to God’s will and whether or not their service will render help. This is to fall into the mind. The basic matter is that we must fall down because of God’s enlightenment and see that our service to God must come from God, not from us. Seeing and having this light will lead us to a breakthrough in the matter of not daring to initiate anything pertaining to the service of God. We will be enlightened inwardly to the point that we will not initiate anything in the matter of serving God. There is a saying in Chinese: “A newborn calf does not fear the tiger.” This means that a young calf is not afraid of anything. It is even willing to touch a tiger. But if a calf is frightened and hurt by a tiger one day, it will not dare to touch the tiger again. Some of us are like a newborn calf in the matter of serving God. In the Old Testament David realized that he could not initiate anything in the service of God only after Uzzah was struck by God (2 Sam. 6:6-8).
We are not speaking of trivial principles but rather about a fundamental issue: In our service to the Lord, we must have a definite experience and come to a clear point of being enlightened by the Lord to see that our service must be of God, not of ourselves. If we have seen this basic matter, it will be much easier for us in practice.
How can we discern what is an opinion? An opinion is something that comes from us and is initiated by us. When something is initiated by us, we enjoy and like it. Anything initiated by us will bear our flavor and be our boast. Hence, when a service is initiated by us according to our opinion, often our enjoyment, preference, and boast are associated with it. When a certain matter is initiated by us, we enjoy and love it; moreover, we often feel that it is very good.
Negatively speaking, we often become upset when we encounter problems and difficulties in service or work that originates from us, especially when our service and work are ruined and overthrown. But when our service and work originate with the Lord, we can worship Him even when we encounter problems.
If I have a job, working and taking orders from a manager, I may suffer a setback and be unable to carry out my job. When I encounter any hindrance and fail to succeed, I should report to my manager, but the failure is his responsibility, not mine. Conversely, when there is a success, it is my manager’s boast, not mine. However, when I initiate a matter, its success will be my boast, and its failure will cause me to reflect on my own faults. Therefore, these two tests, one positive and one negative, determine whether the work and the responsibility we bear in all the localities comes from God or from ourselves. The positive test is whether or not we receive a sense of enjoyment and boasting from our work. The negative test is whether or not we are able to eat and sleep peacefully when our work is not carried out successfully. Both of these are tests to us.
I lived in Manila for quite a period of time, and I always stayed with the same family, which included several elders and deacons. They were very clear about the work in the church, and according to their mind, I should have been very troubled about bearing the burden there. They were somewhat bothered because I could eat and sleep well when I stayed with them. However, I told them that I enjoyed every meal and slept well every night despite the heavy burden of the work. One asked me how this was possible, assuming that I did not care for them. All the brothers and sisters, however, could testify that my heart was genuinely for them; otherwise, I would have been unable to live there for so long. I told them that even though I was bearing the burden, I was clear that the responsibility was not upon me. I was not doing a work of my own in Southeast Asia. I was there because I was sent by the Lord. Therefore, I was not doing my work but the Lord’s work. The burden I bore was His burden, not mine.
Moreover, there is other indirect evidence that shows whether a work is of God. If a certain work is not of God, the brothers and sisters often are not willing to carry it out. However, if a certain work is of God, the brothers and sisters are able to labor together. This is very good, but even if the brothers and sisters have some difficulty in laboring together, this is not necessarily a problem, because the work is not their responsibility. Those who are sent by the Lord are often quite patient. When a person is doing his own work, he will be anxious for success, but if he is doing the Lord’s work, he will not be anxious, because it is the Lord’s business. If we want to determine whether a person’s work is of God or of himself, we only need to see if he is anxious in the work. If a person’s work is according to God’s sending, the sent one will not be anxious, and there will not be many opinions.
When I was in Manila once, I truly sensed that a certain matter was of the Lord because of the Lord’s moving without any initiation on my part. Then a sister asked, saying, “Brother Lee, since this matter is of the Lord, why do you not do it?” I replied, “I need to wait until the saints also have the assurance that it is of the Lord.” Then she said, “You should lead the saints. If you lead the saints, they will listen to you.” I said, “If you sense that this matter is of the Lord, there is no need for you to be anxious.” As a result, there was no dispute among the brothers and sisters. If the brothers and sisters wanted to do a certain thing, and I had said no, or if I wanted to do a certain thing, and the brothers and sisters had said no, there would have been a quarrel. Anything that gives rise to quarreling is of the self, not of God.
These three tests speak of our relationship with God in our work and whether or not our work is of God. We serve in many ways, but what the Lord does through us, whether it is a success or a failure, should not give us much feeling. However, if a work is initiated by us, we will have a deep feeling regarding its success or failure. May the Lord have mercy on us and teach us in these matters so that we may see whether our work is of man or of God.
If a brother sees an improper condition in the church and is not able to eat or sleep well, this will become a problem. When our heart is set on the Lord’s work, we should be able to eat and sleep well, no matter how difficult the environment. However, if a brother is able to sleep peacefully when the sky is “falling” simply because he has no real care or concern, he is useless to God. My family knows that there is not a single burden or work of the church that can press me to the point of making me unable to eat or sleep well. There is much work and burden within me, but I am clear that this is the Lord’s business. Since I am here to cooperate with Him, I do not need to be anxious.
For example, I recently handed over the responsibility of managing the workers’ home to a brother. Many times when I inquire about a certain matter related to the home, he does not fully know. Logically speaking, I should be restless, but I still sleep peacefully. Conversely, even if people praised the arrangement of the workers’ home, I would not feel that this was my glory, because everything is up to the Lord. Hence, I can eat and sleep well, and I have no opinion on the success or failure of any matter because I know that everything originates from the Lord.
Sometimes after we hand over certain matters to the co-workers, they make excuses when they are asked about what they have done. Such people are not competent, and they should not sleep peacefully. It would be quite strange if one was entrusted with the job of bookkeeping but was unable to say at a later date what had been done and could only speak of studying the Bible and giving messages. If one wants to give messages well, work well, and even study the Bible well, he must be serious in whatever he does. An irresponsible person is useless in God’s hand. When someone entrusts us with a certain matter, we must realize that this is a matter of responsibility; we should not say that we do not know.
Therefore, we must all learn to bear responsibility and burden before the Lord, and we must also serve the Lord faithfully. Although these matters are not decided by us nor originate from us, we must be absolutely faithful and responsible in what we do.