In Matthew 18 we see a third aspect of the proper church life—the little children living at home are quick and ready to forgive others. Peter considered that forgiving his brother seven times was sufficient, but the word of the Lord Jesus was "seventy times seven." That indicates forgiving endlessly, continually ready to forgive. If someone offends you in the morning, you need to forgive him. If he offends you again at noon, you need to forgive him then. If he offends you tomorrow, the next day, and the day following, you will need to forgive him every time. The Lord Jesus did not speak in a light way. What does it mean to forgive? To forgive is to forget. If you cannot forget, it means that you have never forgiven.
Once a brother came to me saying, "Brother, let me tell you what a certain person did to me..He really offended me, but I forgave him." Immediately I told this brother, "Your forgiveness is quite different from the forgiveness in the Bible. The Bible says that to forgive is to forget. You say that you have forgiven your brother, but you remember everything well enough to repeat it to me. This means that you have not forgiven your brother because you have not forgotten the offense." When God forgives us, He forgets. Although God is omniscient and omnipotent, He is able to forget. He simply cannot recall our failures and transgressions. Once He forgives them, He forgets them.
In the local churches the problems always concern this matter of forgiving. For example, when we first come together to practice the church life, everyone and everything is wonderful. After a while, although everyone is nice, some friction gradually arises. Unintentionally, you offend me and I offend you. Sometimes you look at my countenance and feel that I am not happy with you, and sometimes I listen to your voice and think that you are not pleased with me. These things happen again and again. Therefore, we need the forgiving grace. We need to forgive all and to forget all. Whenever we forgive and forget, we have new life in the church. By forgetting all of the frictions, failures, and offenses, we become new. The church becomes a new church. Otherwise, our church will become an old wrinkled church. When a person becomes old he develops wrinkles. If you visit a church that has been in existence for ten years, you can see wrinkles. What are the wrinkles? They are the unwillingness to forgive and forget. Apparently, you are willing to forgive; actually, you are unwilling to forget. This unwillingness to forget the failures of others produces many wrinkles. Thus, the church becomes an old church. If we will forgive by forgetting, every wrinkle will be removed. Every day the church will be a new church with no oldness, failures, transgressions, or offenses because all of these things have been mutually forgotten.
This must be applied to your family life and especially to your marriage. You need to forgive your wife day by day and hour by hour. This means that you forget all that your dear wife has done to you. If you forget all the offenses, your wife will always be lovable and you will have a good family life. However, if you remember even a few things that she has done to you, immediately she will cease to be lovable. You need to forgive and forget.
Matthew 18 reveals the practical way to have the church life. In this chapter we need to be converted and to become humble little children. We need to depend on others, and we need to forgive and forget. If we practice these things, we will have a very living church.