Spiritual reality is that which is true. It is the truth that sets us free. However, a Christian often does not touch that which is true; instead, he falls into falsehood, and he is deceived and bound by the deception. He does not see the true nature of matters, but is deceived to think that he is very clear. What he thinks and does is totally wrong, and yet he thinks that he is very right. This kind of condition is known as “obsession.” Those who are obsessed need God’s light before they can be delivered from their obsession. Let us first consider what obsession is.
Obsession is self-deception. An obsessed person is like the person described in 1 John 1:8. An obsessed person deceives himself. If a man knows that he has sinned, yet tells others that he has not sinned, this is a lie. But if a man has sinned, yet believes that he has not sinned, this is self-deception. Lying is knowing that one has sinned but telling others that he has not sinned. Being obsessed is having clearly sinned yet, at the same time, thinking that one is as wonderful and as sinless as the Lord Jesus, even to the point that he believes and says that he has no sin. Lying is knowing that one has sinned and trying to deceive others. Being obsessed is believing that one has no sin and telling others that he has no sin, when he has really sinned. In other words, lying is deceiving others, while being obsessed is deceiving oneself. The content of lying and obsession are the same; there is sin in both cases. But in one case, a man’s conscience knows that he has sinned, yet he deceives others by saying that he has not sinned. In the other case, a man’s mind tells him that he has not sinned, and in his heart he also believes that he has not sinned. Those who deceive others are lying, while those who deceive themselves are obsessed. All obsessed persons are self-deceiving persons. All obsessed persons spend so much time considering themselves that they fall into obsession. Many proud people have become obsessed because they not only try to make others believe that they are a certain kind of person, but they themselves believe that they are that kind of person!
Paul was once obsessed. When Stephen was being stoned to death, Paul “approved of his killing” (Acts 8:1). He was obsessed within. When he wrote to the church in Philippi, he mentioned his former condition: “As to zeal, persecuting the church” (Phil. 3:6). He thought that he had to persecute the church in order to serve God with zeal. When men suffered harm, his heart rejoiced. But, according to his consideration, this was not enough. He “went to the high priest and asked for letters from him to Damascus for the synagogues, so that if he found any who were of the Way, both men and women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem” (Acts 9:1-2). He believed that by doing this, he was serving God with zeal. But was this right? His desire to serve God was right. But it was wrong for him to persecute the church and think that by doing so, he was serving God. He was wrong, yet he believed that he was right. This is obsession.
In John 16:2 the Lord Jesus describes some people who are obsessed. He says, “They will put you out of the synagogues; but an hour is coming for every one who kills you to think that he is offering service to God.” To think that one is serving God by killing the Lord’s disciples is to fall into obsession.
Obsession is a matter of the heart. It is doing the wrong thing yet saying in the heart that it is right. If a man does something wrong, yet stubbornly says with his mouth that it is right, this is lying. But if a man does something wrong, and not only says with his mouth but even believes in his heart that it is right, this is obsession. Lying is being stubborn outside and being shriveled inside. In this case, the more confident one is outwardly, the more timid he is inwardly. But obsession is being stubborn both outwardly and inwardly. It is being confident both outwardly and inwardly to the extent that even the conscience seems to justify the act.
The symptom of obsession is thinking and believing that a wrong thing is right to the point that one cannot say that it is wrong. This is being obsessed. There are those who imagine that something is happening with others when nothing actually is happening. The imagination goes so far that they become convinced of a certain matter, and they even come up with proofs and evidences to support their imagination. This also is obsession. Some Christians want to do something or desire to achieve certain goals. In the beginning they have some feeling that what they want to do may not be right. But later, as their thoughts are set in that direction, the more they think about it, the more they feel that it is right, and the more real and true the things become. In the end, they believe that it is absolutely right. They consider it to be the truth, and they tell others that it is the truth. This also is obsession. One can be so obsessed that when others use God’s Word and prove to him that he is wrong, he will still not take heed. It is not easy to help or correct an obsessed Christian, because he believes that his conscience says he is right.
We must be very careful not to have any intention of deceiving others. Even when we say something inaccurate by accident, we should correct it. If we try to consciously say an inaccurate word, we will first deceive others, but in the end, we will fall into self-deception.
There was a brother who wanted to be zealous for the Lord. He felt that he would not appear zealous enough if he prayed with his natural voice. As a result, he tried to generate a different sound. When he prayed this way in the beginning, he felt somewhat strange, and he was conscious that it was not his own voice. But after a long time, he forgot what his original voice was like. Others could feel the unnatural tone in his prayer, yet he thought that it was very natural indeed. Regarding something unnatural as natural is to be obsessed. In the beginning when he was pretending, there was still the feeling, but after he became obsessed, the feeling was gone; he thought that what he had was real. This shows us the pitiful condition of a man who is obsessed.
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