I would like to relate something that happened with this brother to show you how Brother Nee suffered. One day a learned man was saved among us, and he desired to be baptized before he left China for the United States. Brother Nee was so clear about this newly saved one, and he agreed that this man should be baptized before he left China. However, the brother who had been a postmaster did not agree with Brother Nee. Brother Nee asked this co-worker what he was concerned about. He said that he was concerned that this new one might not be saved. Then Brother Nee said that if something was mistaken, he would be willing to bear all the responsibility before the Lord. The co-worker still would not agree to this new one being baptized. Brother Nee had shared previously in some messages that in the church life we always need the fellowship and that we should not do things individualistically. Because Brother Nee insisted on doing everything in fellowship, he would not baptize this new one without the co-worker's agreement. Thus, the new one left China without being baptized. This is just one of the cases of Brother Nee's suffering because of the immaturity of those with him.

I would like to relate another case of his suffering in this matter. I have shared that Brother Nee picked up many positive things from the different practices in Christianity. At the beginning of the church life, he picked up the way to have our meetings mostly from the practice of the Brethren. This is why some people called us the Chinese version of the Brethren movement. At the beginning, we practiced our meetings more than seventy percent according to the Brethren way. In the meetings of the Brethren, the sisters were not allowed to utter anything. They were allowed to sing, but they were not allowed to speak or even to pray.

By 1933 when I came into the work, Brother Nee realized that not having the sisters pray in the meetings was a big loss to the church. He became clear that it is absolutely right for the sisters to pray in the meetings (see 1 Cor. 11:5 and note 2 of 1 Cor. 14:34—Recovery Version). The leading sisters agreed with Brother Nee, but most of the so-called leading ones believed that the sisters should not utter anything. Brother Nee fellowshipped with them that we should release the sisters in the meetings to pray, but nearly all the brothers said "no." When Brother Nee proposed this, I said "amen," but I was considered by the others as a newcomer who did not know much. This is another example of Brother Nee's sufferings.

The beginning of the practice of the church life in China was difficult. Brother Nee was the "first traveler" who paid the price to cut the way for the church life. Now that the cutting has been accomplished, it is easy for us to travel on the "road" of the church life. Brother Nee was the "road cutter." He placed me so close to him in the work because he was lonely. By the Lord's mercy, my spirit was strong to say "amen" to Brother Nee. That became a joy to him in the midst of his suffering. I hope that we would learn the spiritual lessons through this fellowship.