Another brother becomes ill. Day after day passes without a vestige of improvement. For long he keeps hovering at the edge of the grave. Then, when he has completely despaired of life, in the depths of his being he gradually becomes aware of God. Resurrection life begins to work within, and he awakens to the fact that this resurrection life is a life that can overcome all affliction and can even swallow up death. He is still conscious of much weakness and is sorely tested; nevertheless, the realization deepens that God is not working to make His might known in external acts, but is working to impart Himself. Light breaks upon him gradually, and gradually health returns. This brother does not just experience a healing; he comes into a new experience of God. The other brother could testify to a miracle wrought in his body, and shortly after could plunge right into the world; but if this brother gives a word of testimony there is nothing sensational about it, and there is no stress on the healing; yet, you meet God in his life.

Let me tell a story to illustrate this further. A brother who was engaged in export business had arranged to send a consignment of goods by a certain ship. Somehow the goods were delayed and were forwarded by a later ship. Shortly afterwards he learned that the boat by which he had originally planned to send the goods had been sunk. How he praised God for His overruling grace! "O God," he said, "how perfect Your guidance was! You are indeed the true and living God."

Some time later this same brother contracted tuberculosis, and to complicate matters, he developed digestive trouble as well. The TB called for a nourishing diet while the digestive complaint forbade it. He was in a sore plight, but his wife comforted him and said: "Don't you remember the episode of two months ago when God saved that consignment of goods? Oh, our God is the true and living God." But on this occasion God seemed neither true nor living, for the more that couple prayed, the more the brother hemorrhaged; the more they prayed, the worse his digestive complaint became. He was perplexed. Finally he gave way to doubt, and his wife began to question too. A few months later his business came to a standstill. His health steadily deteriorated and his financial resources steadily dwindled, till both he and his wife reached the verge of despair. In their extremity they rallied all their unified faith and prayed once again: "O God, you are the living God. We believe You will yet be gracious to us." But the next day the patient had a further hemorrhage, and neither he nor his wife could exercise faith any more. The living God vanished from their horizon! Friends and neighbors pronounced the brother's case hopeless, and the doctor's verdict confirmed theirs.

However that was not the end of the story. A crisis took place in the inner life of that brother. It began to dawn upon him (though he could not then define it as we are defining it now) that while he knew God as the living God, he did not know Him as the God of resurrection. He knew the doctrine of resurrection, but he did not know the reality of resurrection. He knew in experience that God had come into his life, but he did not know in experience that he had come into the life of God. It became clear to him that from his conversion right up to that time he had possessed the life of God, but he had not been living in the life of God. Even while he had been praying to God, he had been living in independence of Him. He saw that even his faith in God had been his faith, his reliance upon God had been his reliance. He saw all his efforts to please God as something apart from God. He was filled with remorse. He abhorred himself. His healing ceased to be a question. His circumstances ceased to be a question. His one question was himself. He became overwhelmingly aware that what he had regarded as his most spiritual service had been something apart from the divine life. No one preached to him, but the Holy Spirit gave him a deep registration of his individualism. He judged himself unsparingly and ceased to entertain any thought of improvement in health or circumstances. At that point a strange thing happened—his health began to improve. No one knew when or how healing took place. There was just a gradual increase of strength until he was quite well. At an earlier date he could bear witness to God as the living God and all the while be living his life in independence of God; from that date he knew the God of resurrection and began to live in dependence on resurrection life.