Jacob was touched by God in the hollow of his thigh at Peniel, and his leg was crippled. Many Christians have this experience. But when they experience it, they do not know what it is. After a few months or a few years God may show them that He was dealing with their natural life. Then they will realize that they have passed through such an experience. Do not think that just because you are exuberant when you pray, your natural life has been dealt with by the Lord. It is wrong to think this way. Our experience tells us that we do not know when God deals with our natural life. But one thing we do know: Whenever we are touched by the Lord, we are no longer free in our walk; we are no longer as convenient as before. There is a big mark in us—lameness. Lameness is a sign that our natural life has been touched by God. It is not a matter of testifying in a certain meeting that God dealt with our natural life on a certain date. It is a matter of our legs becoming crippled through some spiritual experience. Originally, the more we contrived, the more we enjoyed our contriving. But once we have been touched, something will vacillate within us when we contrive again. We can no longer contrive. The minute we try, we lose our peace. Originally, we were so capable of speaking about this and that kind of thing; we had lofty words and high sounding phrases. But even before the words come out of our mouth now, we feel sick about them. We can no longer be as glib as before. Originally we were shrewd and resourceful; we knew what to do about this person and what to do about that person. There was no need for us to trust in God. But after God has touched our natural life, we will feel that something within is gone when we try to supplant others; something within us wilts. We are not saying that we should not act wisely. God often will lead us to do wise things. But if we try to exercise our own maneuvering, we will feel that something has collapsed within us. We will feel this way before we even try to do anything. This means that the hollow of our thigh has been touched.
Those who have passed through God's dealings know the difference between natural strength and spiritual power. After a person's natural strength is fully stripped, he will be afraid of the resurgence of his natural strength whenever he works for the Lord. We know that we will obtain a certain kind of result if we say a certain word, but we are afraid of reaping that result. If we go on according to our natural strength, we will feel cold inside, and something within us will refuse to go along. This is the meaning of lameness.
There is also a difference in degree as to how much a person is touched by God. Some are touched by God just to the extent that their conscience is bothered. Some are touched by God in a thorough way; they are touched in the sinew of their thigh hollow. These people are the truly crippled ones. God has to do a thorough work in us until a life-long mark is left on us, a mark of lameness. After we become crippled, something will hurt us and frustrate us whenever we try to move or do something. This is the mark of being touched by God.