Two weeks ago I read many verses concerning living by faith. Today I will quote only one verse. Today I will continue with the matter of living by faith, which we began about two weeks ago. We have covered what it is to live by faith and will not repeat it today. However, we have to add a few words to the last message before we can go on with today’s subject. What I will speak on is not in any particular order, but will be miscellaneous points, a little here and a little there.
Two weeks ago I mentioned the “wave-like” living of a believer, in which he fluctuates between joy and dryness. For these people, their life goes up and down all the time. After the meeting, some brothers asked me concerning the matter of intensity. They did not understand why the intensity of joy would become less and less, and the intensity of dryness would become more and more, but that in the end there would be no more difference between the two. Concerning this point, I must add a few words today. We use the word intensity with a special meaning. On the one hand, there is the real intensity; on the other hand, there is the intensity in the emotion. The intensity of joy that I mentioned last time refers to the intensity of feeling. That intensity becomes less and less. What is real is just the opposite; the intensity of what is real increases. Concerning dryness, the process is the same: in reality it increases, while the feeling decreases. The joy that I mentioned the other day refers to the feeling of joy, which in intensity becomes less and less. The dryness which I mentioned refers to the reality of dryness, which increases in intensity. As far as duration is concerned, the period of joy becomes shorter, while the period of dryness becomes longer. In feeling, the intensity of joy becomes less and less, and in reality, the intensity of dryness becomes more and more. In the end, one feels neither joyful nor dry.
Why are our feelings unreliable? They are unreliable because the God we trust has not changed, the work of the Lord has not changed, and the work of the Holy Spirit has not changed. No matter what your feelings are, they will not affect these things. This was all I said last time. This was only one of the reasons. I will give another reason today. The things on God’s side have not changed. The question is whether or not the things within us have changed.
For example, we may have lost all taste for reading the Bible, we may not pray well, and we may feel that we do not have power in our work. We are not as excited as before, and we think that we have fallen. But my question is what is our motive? If our motive has changed, I have nothing to say because we have indeed fallen. But if our motive has not changed, we have not fallen. If our heart is still right, all we have to do is live by faith; we do not have to worry about our feelings.
Once Mr. Hudson Taylor came to Mr. Frost, who was his co-worker of many years, and said, “I am very distressed. I am not the same as when I first came to China. When I first came to China, my soul burned when I saw men who were not saved. I prayed earnestly day and night for God to send men from England and America. For so many years, I loved men’s souls, and prayed earnestly, and worked diligently. But there is one thing which is gone: I have lost the initial feeling of excitement; I have fallen. What should I do?” When Mr. Frost heard this, he thought, “This is terrible. Mr. Taylor is the leader of the China Inland Mission. If he has fallen, it is indeed terrible.” So he went and prayed for about two weeks. He prayed that God would show him the way to help Mr. Taylor. One day God showed him the clear way. He went to Mr. Taylor and asked him, “Did you consecrate yourself to God when you left England to come to China?” Mr. Taylor said, “Yes, of course I consecrated myself to God.” Mr. Frost then asked, “Have you ever taken anything that you consecrated back, during the past years?” He answered, “No.” “Has your love for souls diminished?” He answered again, “No.” “Has your love for the Lord changed?” The answer was again “No.” “Have you become worldly?” “No.” “Have you decreased your work in saving souls?” “No.” Mr. Frost then said, “If you have all these things, why should you care about your feelings? What can the feelings do?” This apparent failure of Mr. Taylor taught Mr. Frost a lesson that we should not care about our feelings as long as the intention of the heart is right.
It does not matter if we feel we do not like reading the Bible or that we do not find any interest in it. The thing that matters is our motive. Do we have the intention to read the Bible? It does not matter if we feel dull after praying three or five sentences. The thing that matters is whether or not you want to pray. If we did not want to pray, why are we kneeling down? It is one thing for us to feel that it is a good thing to pray; it is another thing for us to want to pray.
Perhaps in testifying to others, we feel terrible after saying a few words. Whether or not we love to testify is one thing; whether or not we have the intention to testify is another. Has our heart for testifying to others changed? Have we loved the world? Has our love for God changed? If our motive has not changed, it does not matter that we feel this way or that way. Please remember clearly that the fluctuating life is something that occurs only in our feelings. Within us, there is only one line; it is neither high nor low. Real failure occurs only when our inward being has changed or when our motive has changed. If our motive has changed, then indeed we are fallen and degraded. After this, if we rise again, it will be a real rising. If we do not rise up, then we have not risen yet; this is not like what is ordinarily referred to as highs and lows, or fluctuations in life.
Now I will speak on living by faith, and what it is like in our spiritual experience. Many Christians still consider it a big problem in their spiritual experience when they find it difficult to deal with the so-called high and low times. For example, when they first hear a new truth, they become very happy. But after two or three days or two or three months, the truth seems to be lost. It seems as if what they received the first time is now all gone and lost, and they consider this a great pity. For this reason, many good brothers have asked what is the proper course of our spiritual experience. In other words, they want to know how they can spiritually advance and progress. This is what I am going to speak about.
Suppose one first hears a truth, such as how to overcome his temper or his rashness, or the truth of Romans 6:6, about the crucifixion of the old man by the Lord’s death for the annulling of the body of sin, so that one will no longer be a slave to sin. As a result of hearing this, he becomes happy. He goes home and tells others that from now on, he will no longer lose his temper, for he has received an overcoming truth. He seems to have reached the top of a mountain. He may think that he has reached the peak experience. If he is a husband, he may go home to find his wife doing this and that thing wrong. The first two times, he may hold back his temper. But in the end, he will not be able to hold it back anymore. Now he is bewildered. He thought he understood the truth and would never lose his temper again. But he lost his temper again. Does this mean the truth is unreliable? At such times the environment seems to have made a hole in his boat of truth; all the truth seems to have drained away. Such a person may ask God once more to apply His Word in him so that he will be able to overcome once again. The next time he encounters some frustrating thing, he tries to hold back again. He does this until he can hold back no longer, and he falls again. He cannot understand why the truth that gave him so much joy is all gone. Such trials become more and more severe, and he might think that Romans 6:6 does not work in him anymore; then he becomes disappointed. At such times he sees no light at all; everything is in darkness. When he is standing on the mountaintop, he seems to be able to talk about everything. But now he no longer thinks that those truths are the sword of the Spirit; they seem to be weapons of reed and are completely powerless when he holds them in his hand.
What does this all mean? This is like coming down from the mountaintop and entering into a tunnel. Suppose that there are three mountains. Through the second mountain there is a tunnel. When you think you have the experience of the first mountain, God will bring you down to the plain and put you in an environment in which everything is dark. You will enter the tunnel of the second mountain. After a while, God will lead you out of the tunnel, and you will again experience the joy of the first mountain. But then, you will be on the third mountain. The law of spiritual progress is to go from mountaintops to tunnels and from tunnels to mountaintops. Every time you hear a truth, you will feel that you have obtained it. For example, I may speak on the Lord’s teaching on the mount in Matthew 5 to 7, which covers the conduct of Christians. After you hear and receive it, you may think you have reached the peak and are above the world. But you have to remember that this truth is not yours. You only feel this way. In God’s eyes you have not attained yet. God has prepared an excellent way; He takes you from a mountaintop down to a plain, and He puts you in your family, your school, your hospital, or in other environments. He puts you in a very dark place, so that you must undergo trials. He brings you down from your idealistic peak experience into a dark tunnel.
All the teachings, truths, and feelings which you received the first time will go with you into the tunnel. Then you will say to God, “God, I cannot lay hold of Your truth. May the truth lay hold of me.” When you hear a truth for the first time, you think that it is yours and that you have laid hold of much of the truth. You try your best to lay hold of it, understand it, and practice it. After you make up your mind to do this, God will test you by putting you in many different environments like your family or school. He will permit your family members to disturb you, your colleagues to trouble you, and many other events to surround you. At that time you will see that the truth you once held onto has become like a reed; it seems that it has flown away. You feel that your weapons have been confiscated and everything is lost. You will think that Romans 6:6 cannot be applied to you and slowly lose your grip on the truth. In the end, you give up altogether. This opens the opportunity for God to lay hold of you with His truth. Do not think that this kind of tunnel experience will last for two or three days or for three to five months. Sometimes it lasts for three to five years. At least it is possible for it to last for a year or two.
While you are in such trials, you might think that all is lost. After one or two days, one or two months, or even one or two years, you will not remember the truth anymore, and your hand will lose its grip. Then God will remind you of the truth you once heard, the truth which once gave you an exciting mountaintop experience. Then a small voice may say, “Does not Romans 6:6 say that our old man has been crucified with the Lord, and that the body of sin is annulled, that we should no longer serve sin as slaves?” By then, God will bring you to the point where you can believe. At first you may wonder, “Is this real? Perhaps I have not received it. Perhaps I do not yet understand.” You dare not be as bold as the first time and try to act calmly as if nothing has happened. But the same word comes back and reminds you again. Then God will remind you little by little that this is God’s Word. You will respond, “Although I still fail, God’s Word is sure.” Now you find that you can believe. You have come out of the tunnel of the second mountain and have come to the third peak. This will not give you the same feeling you had at the first peak. Without the experience of the tunnel, you cannot have the experience of the third peak. The darkness is past, but trials and difficulties are still there. Nevertheless, you have overcome. The truth you acquire this time is really yours. The truth you received at the first peak was only in your feeling. This is why God disarms your self-confidence at the first peak. He is delivering you from a life of feelings into the realm of living by faith.
The order of receiving any truth from God is this: first He conveys the truth to you through His servant, through some books, or He may give you the understanding directly through reading the Bible. After He gives you the truth, He will immediately begin working and create a sense of need for this truth in you. He will cause something to happen in your environment or work through other things. You will find that unless you experience the deliverance of this special truth, you will not be able to get through. In the beginning, you may think that the truth you understand can save you. Only when you are put in a trial do you realize that the truth is not yours. After this, you gradually forget this truth. But in your hour of darkness and forgetfulness, the Lord begins to work. Without realizing it, He begins to constitute you with the truth. By the time you come out of the tunnel, you will rediscover that the truth which you forgot in your dark hours has now become ours.
Many believers think that great joy and excitement mean power. But I have to tell you that excitement in one’s feelings is actually a hindrance to a life of faith. God has to strip you of everything you have received through your feeling, until only God and His Word remain. He causes you to believe in a calm way; there is no feeling, no excitement. You believe “coldly.” When you do that, you are brought up to the mountaintop again. There is joy again, but the joy is different from the first experience of joy. The first experience is groundless, but this joy has a basis. This time God causes you to experience the real victory, not like the previous idealistic victory, because you have passed through the tunnel experience.
Please remember that every time a believer wants to acquire some spiritual experience, he has to first pass through the test of the tunnel before he can really acquire anything. When you acquire a new truth, you are very happy. But you must be careful; immediately after this there is a tunnel waiting for you. If you do not realize this fact and instead doubt the reliability of God’s Word, you will be in danger. Because many Christians do not know this principle, they stay inside the tunnel and never come out. God’s goal is to remove your outward feelings and your outward crutches, so that His Word will take hold of you and so that you will be empowered through faith. Brothers, before you acquire a spiritual truth, you must always go through the tunnel experience. The feeling on the first peak is not trustworthy. Only after you have gone through the tunnel experience can the truth be yours. This is true with any kind of truth.
At first, we hear a truth and receive it. This is where the teachers come in. They share the truth with us. But we must not think that just because we have heard and understood it, that it is ours. God has to bring us down from the peak to the plain and into the tunnel before we can be on the third peak again. At that time the truth will be ours. There is a particular danger with the preachers. When they reach the first peak, they think they have acquired something, and they blow their trumpet to tell others about it. Those who hear also think that they have acquired the truth. But when they are brought by God to the plain and into the tunnel, they will think that what they heard was wrong. The mistake is with the preachers themselves. When they are on the first peak, they need not be hasty in telling others anything, for everything will surely go into the tunnel. The length of time in the tunnel is not certain; it can be long or short. Only after they have come out of the tunnel will the truth be theirs. After they have gone through the tunnel experience, they will realize what that truth really means. God leads us this way in order to show us that the just live by faith and not by feeling. When we are brought into the tunnel, we realize that the only thing that will bring us through is the Word of God. Only God’s Word counts; feelings do not count. After we pass through the tunnel experience, the truth will be ours. When we are brought into the tunnel by God, we think that we have lost all the truth. Actually, God is turning the truth that we have received in our feelings into real experience through the test of the tunnel. In other words, when we are in the tunnel we acquire the truth in a real way.
Let me now relate to you a story to illustrate this matter. I have a friend who is a very good poet. One day he went to a potter to watch how porcelain ware is made. He saw many people making many vases out of mud, smoothing them out, and painting flowers and letters on them. Finally, the vases were burned in the furnace. He thought of the pain the vases had to go through and wondered if the burning was necessary. A vase that has not gone through the fire looks the same outwardly as a vase that has gone through the fire. But inwardly they are very different. A vase that has passed through the fire can hold water with flowers. A vase that has not passed through the fire dissolves once water is poured into it. There must be the burning. He noticed that of the numerous vases that went into the furnace, only about one-third would come out of the fire undamaged. He was touched by this, and he went home and wrote a poem based on Peter’s word about the “fiery ordeal” (1 Pet. 4:12). In the poem he metaphorically described himself as a vase, upon which were painted flowers and letters and colors. It was beautiful, yet it could not stand the touch of a finger or the splash of water. Unless he went through the fire, nothing would be solid or firm. There was no choice but to enter the furnace. Within the furnace, there was the sound of crying and murmuring. But he had to suffer this before he could possess the lasting beauty. When the time came, he emerged out of the furnace. Then there was not only outward beauty, but an inward firmness. All the pictures and letters had firmly become one with him; they belonged to him and could not be erased or washed away anymore. Now he could be presented before anyone, even before a king.
Our experience of acquiring the truth is similar to the experience of the vase. When the flowers and letters are first painted, we think everything is fine. But we cannot stand any touching and are destroyed by any washing. The truth is not ours; we only understand it in our mind and are excited in our feeling. We rejoice over it a little too soon. We have to remember that every time we go through a test, it is to help us to possess the truth that we have just heard. Suppose we have just heard the truth concerning patience. A test will come to make us impatient. The test we will face will put us in exactly the opposite place of the truth we received in our feeling. God wants to put us through the burning of the furnace. Many people go into the furnace and never come out again. But if we go through the fire and come out again, what we have acquired will be firm. Then we will be on the mountaintop once again. The truth which we received before is unusable; but the truth we now have is usable. The sword which we acquired before could not be used to fight; the sword we now have, can. What we had before was only a nice outward appearance; what we now have within is something solid. Previously, we were in the realm of the mind and the emotion; now we have really acquired something.
When we hear a new truth, we go home rejoicing. But what follows are the trials. We must pass through the fire. Here lies the difference between faithful ones and unfaithful ones. It is not enough just to put some nice colors on a vase to make it look nice outwardly. It must go through the fire and come out of the fire before it can be useful. What we receive in our feeling is of no use before God. We have to go through the fire and lose every outward thing before we will receive something real. When we receive a new truth and feel very happy about it, we must not think that we have the truth already. In the tunnel everything is dark; there is no light at all. But we should not think that we have lost the truth we have received initially. We have to realize that this is the time we are actually acquiring the truth. God’s goal is to remove us from a life in the emotions and teach us to live by faith. There is only one principle: the just shall live by faith and not by feelings. With every spiritual experience the principle is the same: first there is the mountaintop feeling of joy, then there is the experience of the tunnel, and then another mountaintop joy that is genuine. After this, what we have obtained is real.
Why does God always give us a mountaintop feeling of joy at the beginning of our spiritual experience? God has His intention for doing this. If we do not have a taste of the truth, we will not receive it. Madame Guyon said that God allows us to have a taste of the joy of every new truth, so that we will not want to lose it even when we are in the tunnel. When we pass the test and come out of the tunnel, we will have a full taste of the joy of that truth. First we have a foretaste. After the trial we come into the full and unrestricted enjoyment.
Now we see the proper course of a Christian path. We cannot possess any truth without going through the test of the tunnel. Faith is the principle because feelings are unreliable. God takes away our feelings so that we can have the opportunity of trusting in Him. If our feelings are not removed, we will not trust in God.
Some brothers have asked, “Why is the truth that we think we received in the first peak, the truth we received in our feelings, not trustworthy? Why do we have to pass through the experience of the tunnel before it becomes trustworthy? What does this have to do with our feelings?” The reason is that when we receive the mountaintop feeling of joy concerning a certain truth, we think we have everything and everything is ours. Actually, we still have nothing. God puts us in a tunnel so that the truth can become really ours. When we enter the tunnel, everything is dark and there is no support anywhere. It seems as if God’s Word has failed, and we do not understand why. It seems that God’s Word, promises, and facts are all the same and ineffectual. It seems that our feelings have failed us, and according to our feelings, everything is lost. After a while, the truth comes back to look for us. Even though circumstantially we do not feel anything, the truth seems more real and is easier for us to believe. God is delivering us from what we think we have and understand according to our feeling, so that we can actually possess and understand these things. Mr. Andrew Murray once said that the Holy Spirit explains the Word of God to us. I will add a word: only the Holy Spirit can explain God’s Word to us. For example, every evening we have our Bible study. Even though we have read and expounded every verse, this does not count; we must forget about these things and allow them to fail inside the tunnel before there can be the beginning of faith. The Holy Spirit must explain the same thing to us a second time. Whatever we think we understand, we understand only in our feelings. We must pass through the tunnel. Only the experience we gain in the tunnel is real. This is the principle of faith.