Leakage of the conscience is also a kind of feeling of offense in the conscience. This condition is also extremely damaging to the spiritual state of a Christian.
In a normal situation the feeling of the conscience is based on the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, which, in turn, is based on the measure of our life. To the extent we have grown in life, to the same extent also will be the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. To the degree the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit attains, to the same degree will be the feeling of our conscience. Thus, the feeling of our conscience can be adequately dealt with according to the measure of our life. Whatever the Holy Spirit demands of us through our conscience can also be adequately met by the supply of the power of our life. If we are only willing to obey, we will have the strength to deal with the demand. Thus, this kind of feeling of the conscience will not cause a leakage in the conscience.
However, sometimes the condition becomes abnormal: the conscience produces a kind of feeling which cannot be adequately met by the degree of life. This kind of feeling does not come from the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. The enlightenment of the Holy Spirit is always based upon the growth of life. Since this kind of feeling cannot be adequately met by the growth of life, then it must have come from a premature knowledge. This situation is like a ten year old child who knows the things of a twenty year old man and accepts all the requirements for a twenty year old man, but since his life is not adequate, he has no strength to meet the requirements. This is equally true of one who has premature feelings in his conscience. On one hand, he feels that he should not do a certain thing because, if he does, his conscience will feel condemned and uneasy. On the other hand, he is not strong enough to overcome, so he goes ahead and does it. This causes a breach or violation of his conscience which cannot be reconciled. We call this condition the leakage of the conscience.
For example, a brother who has recently been saved has a bad habit. Since the light in him is not strong, his conscience does not condemn him. He is able to pray, attend the meetings, and have fellowship with the Lord-all with peace and joy. Later a brother tells him that this bad habit is not pleasing to the Lord and that he must get rid of it immediately. He replies, “When I pray, I am not aware that the Lord is displeased.” To prove his point, the brother then explains to him all the biblical truths concerning the matter. Finally, the new convert is convinced and compels himself to obey these truths that he may get rid of the bad habit. This results in failure, because his growth of life is not adequate and there is not sufficient supply of the power of life. Therefore he continues to live in this bad habit. At this point, his conscience condemns him severely, and a feeling of offense overwhelms him constantly. Originally he could pray, consecrate himself, and attend the meetings, but now he says to himself, “Can someone like me pray, consecrate myself, and attend the meetings?” Thus, his conscience has a great leakage. The leakage is so serious that he can no longer pray, testify, and attend the meetings. Finally, his whole Christian life suffers bankruptcy.
Therefore, the leakage of the conscience is a very serious and dangerous matter. First Timothy 1:19 tells us that a leakage in our conscience is like a leaking boat doomed to sink in the water. The conscience of a Christian will suffer shipwreck once it has a leak. While faith and love are essential to the Christian himself, they are equally essential in our relationship toward God and in some degree toward others. The life that a Christian lives before God should be a life of faith and love. But once a conscience leaks, both faith and love escape, and the spiritual life of a Christian suffers bankruptcy. As a cracked light bulb has no light, so a leaking conscience causes the Christian’s spirit to be deflated and all spiritual things to wither within him.
Since the leakage of the conscience is such a serious matter, we must strive to avoid it in the pathway of pursuing the growth of life. The way to avoid it is not to accept any feeling that comes from premature knowledge, nor to respond to any demand that exceeds the supply of the life within. This applies both to ourselves and to others. We should not impart to others advanced knowledge which causes premature feelings, nor should we point out the problems in others without considering whether or not they have the strength to deal with them. Otherwise, their conscience will be damaged, causing a leakage. We should only help others positively in the aspect of life that they may grow in life. As time goes by, the feelings of their conscience will spontaneously increase, and their dealings will also increase accordingly.
If we already have a feeling derived from premature knowledge, we need the Lord’s blood to cover us. We may say to the Lord, “Lord, I know that I need to deal with this matter, but I am unable to cope with it; it is no match for my strength. Cover me with Your blood, and do not let Satan attack me.” If we rely upon the blood in this way, though we are weak on the one hand, we can still on the other hand have fellowship with the Lord, and our spiritual life will not suffer loss.
While we are hiding under the blood, we should have another attitude: we must look to the Lord for the supply of His grace. When the supply of His grace comes upon us and affords us the necessary strength, we must then deal immediately with the things that need to be dealt with. This supply of God’s grace on one hand means the inner life supply, and on the other hand includes the outward environmental arrangement. For example, in dealing with our financial debts, we have to look to the Lord on one hand to work in us, causing us to have an adequate inward feeling. On the other hand, we must also look to the Lord to provide in the environment the adequate amount of money so that we can deal with the matter according to the inner feeling. This outward supply is also a kind of divine provision to enable us to deal with the matter concerned.
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