Through these experiences it is difficult to determine when Peter was regenerated. It seems that Peter might have been regenerated when he made the declaration in Matthew 16:16 that Jesus is the Son of the living God. However, Peter was undoubtedly regenerated after the Lord breathed Himself into the disciples. The earlier experiences seem to have been an accumulation consummating in the experience in John 20:22.

In principle, it is the same with us today. Because our experiences of the Lord accumulate over time, we may have the feeling that our experiences some years ago were not as genuine as they are today. Though our experiences seem to be very sudden, they are actually an accumulation over many years. The things we see today which seem to be rather sudden will be recognized, after a few years, as having only been steps in a process of accumulation.

Often it may seem that we have not seen or experienced very much, when we have actually seen and experienced a great deal without realizing it. On the other hand, we often think that we have seen something, when in reality we have seen and experienced very little. As a result, we are easily deceived. The best way is simply to walk on the pathway of life, day by day, without analyzing very much. Again, the disciples are good examples of this. Peter and the other disciples followed the Lord somewhat foolishly and ignorantly for three and a half years. It is doubtful that Peter was very clear concerning anything he saw during those years with the Lord. He seemed to be clear when he spoke concerning Christ being the Son of the living God, but later when asked whether the Lord paid the temple tax, he answered in a very inaccurate way (Matt. 17:24-27). This exposed that he had not seen very clearly that Jesus as the Son of God is not required to pay such a tax.

As the Lord was going to Jerusalem to be crucified, the disciples also argued among themselves as to which one of them would be the greatest (Mark 9:33-34). They did not care for the Lord or for what He had told them concerning His death and resurrection. It seems that after three and a half years the disciples saw very little and that the time the Lord spent with them was wasted. It even seemed that the sisters, such as Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of Jesus, and the mother of James and John, saw much more than the brothers. Although this may be true, actually, all but Judas received something from the Lord in those years.

We must realize that any time we spend with the Lord is never a waste. The more time we spend with the Lord, the more we learn, and the more a treasure is accumulated within our being. Therefore, we must continue to pursue the Lord according to a good routine. Such a routine includes morning watch every morning, walking by the Spirit each day, and attending the meetings regularly. In spite of all our failures, we should still keep such a routine. This kind of exercise before the Lord will never be a waste.

Question: I have a question concerning ministering to others. Many times when I am in the home meetings and the atmosphere is living, I share something with the new believers which is right in doctrine but the flavor seems to be me. Will there be a time in our ministry to others when we sense that the Lord has a clear way through us without any flavor of ourselves?

Answer: Our feelings are just like the weather-extremely variable and untrustworthy. Concerning our ministry, we should just go and minister, not analyzing too much. We should just labor in the home meetings, small group meetings, and big meetings. Eventually, we will see the Lord’s blessing and we will reach the goal. According to my experience, quite often I thought that I accomplished very little when I ministered in a certain place. To my feeling, it was a failure. Then a number of years later, quite a number of saints from that place shared with me that they were really helped by the message I had given earlier. On the other hand, when I have shared at other times, I had the feeling that I had reached the third heaven. Eventually, there was not the great result that I expected.

Though many Christians seek so-called spirituality, we must realize that we will eventually be very human. We also must realize that our flavor will be with us even when we enter into the New Jerusalem. The New Testament was written by many writers. Whenever we read Peter’s writing, we know that it is Peter, because it has the flavor of Peter. Likewise, when we read Paul’s writing, there is the flavor of Paul. Even in the New Jerusalem, we will not lose our personal identity and flavor.
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