Question: We are caring for a meeting that has three new ones who are all at different stages of growth. Many times it seems that they all want to talk at once. Sometimes it seems that the meeting will actually divide because the young ones are talking so much. I feel that we should take the lead somewhat, but I do not know what to do. What should we do in this situation?
Answer: You should never try to keep a meeting that much in order or that quiet. We always expect to have an orderly meeting, but we should not have this kind of expectation. That is religious. Let the new ones feel free. If three of them would speak at the same time, you should say something to them, but you must say it in a happy and encouraging way. When these three all start to speak at the same time, you may smile and say, “I am so happy that you all will say something. What if we let this dear one speak first?” Surely the new ones will listen to one another, and the two whom you stopped will not be offended. It all depends upon how you handle the situation and how you speak to them about this kind of matter. When the first one finishes, do not ask the second one to speak right away. Instead, take the opportunity to answer some of the first one’s problems. In this way you can turn the whole meeting, and the other two will not be offended. This is another thing you must learn in handling the group meetings.
Question: I was in a group meeting that was very enjoyable with a lot of speaking, but then one brother began to speak for over ten minutes. He went on and on, and all the new ones became uncomfortable. One of the new ones even left the room. Eventually I said, “Brother, let’s all sing a hymn.” Is this the way to handle this kind of situation?
Answer: You have to be wise. At the opening of the meeting you may say, “What if each one speaks for not more than two minutes.” We can do this at the beginning of the meeting, making it a kind of regulation. Even if you do not say such a thing, if one is speaking quite long, for eight to ten minutes, you can still handle it in a loving way. You can say, “Brother, let’s give some time to the others.” Most people would listen to this. The young ones would usually take your word, but the older ones would say, “Give me another minute.” This means another ten minutes. Do not argue, and let him continue. Then after one minute, say, “Brother, one minute is over. Let’s turn the meeting to others.” Most people, even the older ones, would take this word. But sometimes the storm comes, and when it comes you have to endure it. Do not be bothered; it will pass. This is not a problem, so do not make an issue out of it. If you do, you will turn this matter into a problem, and you will suffer.
Question: One thing we have been practicing in our group meeting is to ask the new ones a question to draw out something from them. Is this profitable?
Answer: This is altogether right. If the new ones do not have any questions to ask in the group meeting, you must learn how to initiate a subject by asking a question. However, you have to ask your question just as a new one. Do not ask it as if you were the Apostle Paul. That will cause trouble. You must ask a beginning type of question just like a new one in order to stir up some answering. Then those answers will all become teachings.
Question: In the past you said that we should go to a meeting with a definite goal. If in a group meeting the questions being asked do not match the goal of the meeting, should we answer the questions and disregard our goal?
Answer: What is the goal of the group meeting? The goal of the group meeting is to perfect the saints; it is not any particular subject. You may have a burden to teach people about justification, and now they are asking you about the eating and drinking of God, but this is not your goal for the meeting. This shows that you are religious; you are too legal. The goal of the group meeting is to perfect people. As long as you can carry out this goal, that is marvelous. Whether you teach justification or you teach people why we should eat and drink God, both help to fulfill our purpose. The purpose is to perfect. Surely you have to prepare something, but you still must leave this matter wholly in the hands of the Holy Spirit. Then you can be flexible and simply follow. You must learn how to be flexible all the time. You may feel that to learn all these things is too difficult, but this is not my invention. This is what the Bible reveals.
Home | First | Prev | Next