Another difficult question is regarding the matter of marriage. Today on this earth there are a lot of illegal marriages. Young men and young women live together as husband and wife, yet they were never married. Are they husband and wife or not? You may have a new one, a young lady, who was saved in a marvelous way, yet she lives with a young man without being married. They may even have a child. Eventually, this question concerning marriage will be brought up. Are the two of them husband and wife? What would you say? If you say “no,” you will stumble them, but you cannot tell them that this is not a problem, because this is a big problem.
In China there is the problem of concubines. One day I visited a home. The husband got saved and baptized. His salvation was miraculous. I did not know his situation, but I felt he was very good. Then one day I went to meet with him in his home, and there were four ladies there. Eventually, by talking to them, I learned that these ladies were his four wives. All of these four wives had been helped by this man to be saved. I can testify from my heart that all five, the man and the four wives, loved the Lord Jesus, and they seemed to love one another. I was afraid that I would not be able to get out of that home without the matter of marriage being brought up. How should one handle such a case? I tried my best to avoid the four wives. I only said, “It is wonderful to see that you all love the Lord.” They all were very happy. Then I talked to them and encouraged them to love the Lord more, and to follow the Spirit. They all said, “Amen.” After quite a long time, I said, “I have to go back home now.” They all agreed with me and sent me off; I got out of that snare. Then I went back to talk to the leading ones about this matter. What should we have done concerning this man and the four wives? This is a hard question, and even today I cannot tell you the best answer.
One secret you have to learn and always remember is that you are dealing with babes. I was there with one husband and four wives; all five were babes. On the one hand, I was “playing” with them, but on the other hand, I was really helping them. My visit did not stumble or damage them. If I had been careless and had been like a preacher, a pastor, or a Bible teacher, I surely would have damaged them. Just by my one visit, all five would have been stumbled. Therefore, learn to hold home meetings always with the realization that you are dealing with babes. This will safeguard you, and this will open the way for you to render the proper help to them. Do not forget that the new ones were deeply fallen sinners, so it is not so easy for us to rescue them out of their fallen situation and condition in a quick way. Some are not so complicated, but many cases are really complicated.
In the United States today, it is easy to meet a couple that has not been properly married. They may live together and even have children. Recently we encountered such a problem. When you go to a home meeting, you may find out strange things. This is why you need to have the home meetings. If you do not hold home meetings you cannot know the real living situation of these newly saved ones.
Learn to talk to people, treating them as babes all the time. If you keep this one principle and learn this one secret, you will be safeguarded from offending and stumbling people. Otherwise, many times you will unconsciously stumble the new ones. After your visit, they would say, “Forget about it. I want nothing to do with Christianity. I cannot take this religion.” They may not say this to your face, but after you leave, they will say it. Learn to talk to new ones as to babes.
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