I have encountered this kind of thing often. Sometimes, after a talk with such a brother as this, the elder that commended him would turn to me right away and say, "Brother Lee, this brother is too much off." When I heard this, immediately my countenance changed, and I said, "Brother, you are not an elder. You are a Judas! The last twenty minutes when you were talking to him, you said that he was very good. But he has just left, and now you are telling me that he is terrible. You do not behave like a Christian. You are deceiving your brother." Sometimes the elder would even explain to me, saying, "Oh, you do not realize how bad a temper this brother has. If you say that he is not good, he will right away lose his temper. Sometimes it becomes worse, and he would even hit you." I said, "Brother, even if you were afraid that he would hit you, you should not have commended him. This is lying. If you think that he cannot take it, you can remain silent when he talks with you. Sometimes silence is more powerful than frank words. You do not need to stir him up, but neither should you praise him."

Brothers and sisters, unless you do nothing, whatever you do, no matter how much you keep it secret, sooner or later others will know about it. You may tell a brother that he is quite good, and may turn around soon after he leaves and say that he is terrible. You may think you are saying it only behind his back and not to his face, but you can be sure that in less than half a year, he will find out. He will then say that on a certain date you as an elder commended him to his face, but as soon as he left, you criticized him as being terrible, and therefore, you are one kind of person to his face, and another kind of person behind his back. In this way, you have given yourself away by being the person that you are.

Hence, an elder has to learn to be a faithful and honest person. We can never say a word before the brothers that we do not mean. When it is difficult for us to say something, we can remain silent, but we must never say something that we do not mean.

I have been questioned by brothers in a nice way before as to why I kept silent when they came to me some time earlier, asking me to comment on their condition. I said, "Brother, you know what your condition was at that time. If I had said something to you then, what would the consequences have been?" After they pondered for a while, they said, "You are right, brother. You knew I could not take it then. You did not say anything because you weighed my condition at that time."

Let me say something more concerning pretense. The elders should love the brothers and sisters and should care for them. This love and care should also be something in their person, not a mere method. I may be one who genuinely loves the brothers and sisters as a result of the Lord's love in me. The Lord has put in me a love for the brothers and sisters, and I cannot help but love them. When I see a brother who is sick, spontaneously I am concerned for him. When I see a brother who has lost his job, spontaneously I care for him; or, when another one has some lack, I feel the same lack also. This proves that my love and care has to do with my person. This is right.

When a certain elder meets a brother in need, he would say, "Oh, brother, you are in such desperate need. May the Lord be gracious to you." But after he turns around, he forgets all about the matter. This is pretense. If you do not have the heart toward that person, you should not say those words. When he loses his job or is in sorrow, you do not have to express such a pretentious gesture if you are really not concerned about him. To do so is falsehood. It may seem to be perfectly all right for you to be a false person if, after you act in pretense once, you move to the moon. Otherwise, others will eventually become tired of listening to your sympathetic "Oh's," and they will say that this elder is pretending.