1. “His disciples said to Him, If the case of the man with his wife is like this, it is not profitable to marry. And He said to them, Not all men can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given...There are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs because of the kingdom of the heavens. He who can accept it, let him accept it” (Matt. 19:10-12; see also 1 Cor. 7:7-9).
Although God ordained marriage for His common goal in creation, He gives some people the gift not to marry for the sake of His goal in His redemption. Those who have been given this gift spontaneously receive it. They can willingly not marry for the sake of God and the kingdom of the heavens. A person who does not have a willingness to not marry or who feels forced in the matter of not marrying has not received this gift from God. In such a case, not only is he permitted to marry, but he should marry. It is better for one to follow God’s ordination and his natural need to be married than to be forced to not marry.
2. “Both the unmarried woman and the virgin care for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit...may be comely and may wait on the Lord without distraction. But if anyone thinks that he is behaving unbecomingly to his virgin daughter, if she is past the bloom of youth and thus it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, and has authority with respect to his own will and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better” (1 Cor. 7:34-38).
The apostle’s word in these verses refers to the matter of some believers keeping their virginity, and it is very clear and definite. If one stands firm in his heart and feels no need to marry, this is a matter of his own will. It is possible for one to decide to keep his virginity and not marry in order to please the Lord by waiting upon the Lord without distraction. However, if one feels that dealing with himself in this way is incompatible with his human circumstances, he can freely marry without any consideration of sin. Furthermore, in such a situation it is better for him to marry. The Bible does not have a hard rule concerning this matter; instead, it gives us the authority to choose freely. Consequently, the Catholic Church’s rule against marriage for monks, nuns, priests, and popes contradicts the teaching of the Bible to the uttermost.
3. “These are they who have not been defiled with women, for they are virgins” (Rev. 14:4).
There are some saved ones who definitely receive a special gift from God to keep their virginity in order to become a special group of overcomers to Him. They become firstfruits to God and to the Lord Christ, receiving God’s reward.
1. “Do not become dissimilarly yoked with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14).
In the Old Testament God did not allow oxen and donkeys to be yoked together (Deut. 22:10). Similarly, in the New Testament He does not allow believers to be yoked together with unbelievers in marriage. Since oxen and donkeys have different dispositions and inclinations, they have difficulty walking together on the same road. Believers and unbelievers also have different dispositions, views, inclinations, and goals, so it is difficult for a believer who is dissimilarly yoked to walk on a road that follows the Lord and lives to the Lord. We have the Lord’s life within, but unbelievers do not have His life. We are light, but they are darkness. We love the Lord, but they love the world. How can we be yoked together and joined in marriage with them? Therefore, when believers choose a spouse, they must choose a believer. This keeps the Lord’s commandment. This will not only please the Lord but also help keep us from going astray.
2. “Take along a sister as a wife”; “She is free to be married to whom she wishes, only to one in the Lord” (1 Cor. 9:5; 7:39).
Believers can marry only believers. If we are brothers, we can marry only believing sisters. If we are sisters, we can marry only brothers in the Lord.
In the Old Testament God did not allow His people to marry Gentiles lest their holiness be mixed with the unholiness of the Gentiles and they be tempted to leave Him to follow other gods (Deut. 7:3-4; Exo. 34:16; Ezra 9:2; Neh. 10:30). King Solomon was misled because he did not keep God’s commandment and married Gentile women. This caused him to sin and leave God (1 Kings 11:1-8; Neh. 13:23-27). This should be a warning to us.
When choosing a mate, the most important thing is to seek and follow the Lord’s leading. According to the pattern in Genesis 24, if older ones like Abraham can oversee and confirm our choice, our choice will be more solid. A good wife and an appropriate spouse is a gift from God (Prov. 19:14); consequently, we may not be able to choose well by ourselves. We also should not pay more attention to outward beauty than to inward virtues and capabilities (11:22; 12:4; 31:10, 30). However, we must love the other person. Love must be the basis of choosing a mate (Gen. 29:18, 20). If there is no love, we should not base our choice on other conditions. Of course, in choosing a mate, our love must be strictly controlled and directed by the Lord so that it may be appropriate and beneficial, rather than harmful.