The matter of group leaders is the same in principle as leading new believers. The co-workers and responsible brothers are often limited in their capacity to lead people; a person may be able to lead fifty people but not sixty. This can be compared to schoolteachers. A teacher may be able to teach a class of fifty students yet unable to teach a class of eighty students. If he tries to teach the eighty students, thirty will definitely be neglected. Thus, anyone who desires to lead people must grow in life; only through the growth in life can our capacity to lead people be increased.
The responsibility to lead people should be given to others. The responsible ones should not be the only ones who can lead people. We should always give others the responsibility to lead people so that they can learn to lead people as well. We all need to learn this spiritual lesson.
From the perspective of the work, the most useful worker or responsible brother is one who can work and bring others along to do the same work. In other words, we can lead others to be group leaders, and we can also teach others to lead people. In this way, if there are presently a few of us taking the lead and helping others, in a year there will be five or six people who can help others to be responsible ones. In order to do this we need to learn some lessons and receive the Lord’s breaking. A person who has been broken can work by himself and can also bring others along to work with him. One who has not been broken will always think that his work is the best. It is not easy for such a one to bring others along; he needs a deeper breaking.
It is difficult to serve the saints in regard to marriage. We are caught between two difficulties. One is the matter of our Chinese culture, and the other is the matter of the church. Because of these two matters it is difficult to help the brothers and sisters concerning their marriage. In principle, we need to lead them in life and instruct them in truth. This requires us to have fellowship with them in order to lead them in their marriage. On the one hand, the age we are in poses many difficulties in regard to marriage; on the other hand, we need to pay attention to the spiritual aspect. We are situated between these two difficulties, and this is not easy. The older brothers and sisters in the church should bear some responsibility to help young people in the matter of marriage. In doing this, they should not put in their own feelings. People with too many feelings cannot touch the matter of marriage; everything will become a big mess, and there will be no ability to clear up the situation.
Second, we must have a genuine care for people. We should not serve in this matter simply because we love to do this kind of thing and have a feeling for this. Rather, it should be that we are concerned about this matter before the Lord. We care for the young people, and we desire to serve them in the matter of marriage according to our burden. We must have this kind of concern; otherwise, we cannot do this.
Third, we need to have patience. Some brothers and sisters expect an instant success when they introduce two young saints to each other. They are upset and discouraged when the introduction fails. However, we need to have patience; to be patient means not to be anxious. If we desire to serve the young people, we should help them in a good way. We should observe them, look at every aspect carefully, and help them little by little. This cannot be rushed. Therefore, we need to have patience.
Fourth, we must be honest yet wise. Honesty and wisdom are not the same. Some people become false in their attempt to be wise, and some people expose others through their honesty. A “wise” person may try to describe a brother as being perfect and a sister as being flawless, but after the two are married, they realize that this is not the case. An honest person may be honest to the point of having no discernment; he may disclose certain hidden matters related to both the brother and sister. This “honesty” negates the intention of introducing the brother and sister. This is truly difficult. Thus, we all need to learn some lessons; we need to be honest yet wise, and we need to be wise yet honest. Nevertheless, we should not say, “Since this is so hard, we should forget about it and not do it. We are not men of wood—how can we not have feelings? Besides, we also need to be patient and wise, yet because this is difficult, we cannot do it.” If we say this, we will miss the opportunity to experience the Lord’s grace.
Today we truly need a group of older saints who can rise up and care for this matter. They should do this properly, according to the manner of the saints, the teaching of the Bible, and the real spiritual condition of the brothers and sisters. This requires them to meet these four conditions. If we introduce the brothers and sisters in a careless way, there will not be much benefit; on the contrary, it may even cause them to suffer loss spiritually.
Concerning the time for prayer, we should use it properly and be calm before the Lord. Excited prayer may not cause people to touch spiritual matters; however, this does not mean that we are against excited prayer. We all know from our experience that it is mainly when we are calm that we can touch spiritual reality and the things that are of God in our prayer. If we are in an excited and lively mood, we may suffer more loss than we gain. Therefore, when we pray together, we should try our best to be calm before the Lord and seek the Lord with a calm spirit. Of course, sometimes the Holy Spirit may do something exceptional and stir us up to become excited, but generally speaking, we should not be overly excited when we are together.