Only the Lord knows the heavenly, spiritual mathematics concerning what in our environment works the best for our good. The Lord gave Job many children, but one day all of his sons and daughters were killed (Job 1:18-19). Job prayed a good prayer by saying, "Naked I came out of my mother's womb, and naked I will return there. Jehovah gives and Jehovah takes away; blessed be the name of Jehovah" (vv. 20-22). This, however, is still not the best prayer, because it is an Old Testament prayer. A New Testament prayer would say, "Lord, thank You for giving me children and for taking away my children. Through Your giving and through Your taking away I have been transformed and filled up with You. The coming and going of my children are all Your doing to transform me and fill me up."

Children are used by God to deal with the parents. Some parents are dealt with by God mainly by their children. But God knows whether we need children or do not need children. He uses all things to conform us to the image of Christ. Some persons may be nice, gentle, and faithful in their natural man. They would be good persons even apart from being regenerated or transformed. Then what can God do to work Himself into such persons? With such persons and with all of us, God must put us into certain circumstances to break us. God's desire is for us to be broken so that He can work Himself into us.

Paul was a person who was conformed to the death of Christ by something mysterious called the power of resurrection. No one can be conformed to the death of Christ except by the resurrection power. There is something within us hidden, mysterious, and dynamic called resurrection. Eventually, we will learn that whether money comes or money goes, whether children come or children go, God remains. God is our portion. He is not our portion outwardly but our portion inwardly in the way of constitution. God has constituted and is constituting Himself into our being. Eventually, God uses all things to make Himself our unique portion.

Our money, our children, our job, and our degree are not our portion. Only God is our portion. Some of us have portions other than Christ Himself. We may have our own goals which we desire to reach, saying that we need to be practical. But actually these goals are our portion. This is why God comes to "peel off" our natural life layer by layer throughout the years. I have been under God's gradual "peeling" for almost seventy years. I am happy today because much of my natural life has been peeled off. God uses all things to "peel off" our natural life. God even uses all the brothers and sisters in the church life to accomplish this peeling. We are all under the accumulating process of God's "peeling off" of our natural life. The day will come when we will have a great and serious peeling off. Then we will be broken, "bankrupt." "Bankruptcy" means brokenness.

Some today teach positive thinking as the way to be successful in everything. Such a teaching is terrible and absolutely off. Did the apostle Paul practice positive thinking to be successful or to make money? Paul was positive in martyrdom. He was very positive in being ready to be poured out as a drink offering (Phil. 2:17; 2 Tim. 4:6).

I would encourage all of us to read the biography of Brother Watchman Nee (entitled Watchman Nee: A Seer of the Divine Revelation in the Present Age published by Living Stream Ministry). Brother Nee's ministry has spread throughout the world. Many seeking Christians have received help from his ministry. Eventually, however, he died in imprisonment. This is the conformation to the death of Christ. Within Brother Nee there was a mystery. That mystery within him was the power of resurrection.