To bear the cross means, first, that Christ has brought us to the cross and, second, that we were crucified with Him on the cross (Gal. 2:20a). Since Christ was crucified and we were crucified in Him, we should see and should not forget that from that time a cross has been on our shoulder. When I was young I had very little awareness that a cross was upon me. However, especially in these past few years, the more I go along with the Lord, the more I feel that a cross is upon me. When I was a young Christian, I was quite free to argue with others. If I wanted to go to play a certain sport, I simply went to play. But today, especially in these past few years, a heavier cross has been upon me. Often when I want to do a certain thing, the Lord's answer within me is "no." That "no" is the cross. If you will check with your experience, you will admit that immediately after you were saved, in the first year of your Christian life, it was easy for you to get permission from the Lord Jesus to do certain things. Actually, the Lord Jesus did not give you the permission; it was you who gave yourself the permission. Then, after much growth in the Lord, the more you followed the Lord Jesus, the more you received the answer "no" when you sought the Lord's permission. You might ask the Lord if you can speak to a certain brother, and the Lord might say, "No! I want you to read the Bible." Then you might ask the Lord if you can go to sleep, but deep within you know that what the Lord wants you to do is to kneel down and pray. You would never propose that to the Lord. If you asked the Lord if He would like you to pray for an hour, He would surely say yes. Actually, there is no need for Him to say yes; you know deep within that that is what He wants you to do. However, you do not like to pray. Eventually, you agree with your own proposal, and thus you become the lord. At such a time there is no cross upon you. You have thrown the cross off your shoulder. That is not to bear the cross.

In my early ministry I was not free from the teaching of asceticism. At times I told the brothers that when they got married, they received a big cross, and that cross was their wife. I also told them that just one big cross was not adequate. Hence, after two years the Lord added a smaller cross, that is, a daughter. After another three years the Lord added another cross—a naughty son. That was my speaking in my earlier ministry. But today I would say that in the whole universe there is only one cross that can save us. This cross is not our cross but the cross of Christ. However, in Matthew 16 the Lord said that we must take up our own cross. This means that we must make the cross of Christ our cross. We were put on that cross already, and that cross was put on us. When we went to the baptistry to be baptized, we testified that we desired to take the way of the cross. We confessed that we had been crucified, crossed out, by the cross of Christ. After such a baptism, we need to be a person who bears the cross continually. The cross simply means that we have been put to death, and now we still need to be under that death. We need to realize that today we are not a living person but a dying person, and we have died already. The cross is upon us.

The first stanza of Hymns, #622 says that the meaning of the cross is not to suffer; rather, the meaning of the cross is to terminate our self. If we are living, actually, we are dying. On the other hand, if we are dying, in reality, we live. The apostle Paul taught this in Romans 8:13: "For if you live according to the flesh, you must die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the practices of the body, you will live." If we still live in our flesh, we must die, but if we bear the cross by dying throughout the day, we will live.