The Bible reveals that the relationship between God and man is very intimate; it is intimate to the extent that man cannot leave God and cannot be without God. Since this is the case, we need to consider what influence God has on our life and what His relationship is to us in our living. The Bible shows that the relationship of God with man is so crucial that any time man leaves God and does not have God, he will have problems. Adam and Eve in Genesis are the best illustration of this. When they became independent from God, they fell into sin. The meaning of being independent from God is that one loses God in his living; he loses his relationship with God in his life. Whenever man is independent from God, he will suffer within and be full of problems. Furthermore, such independence is equal to sin.
We should not think that only doing something wrong is a sin. Even when we do something good, we are independent from God if what we do is done apart from God, has nothing to do with God, does not have God’s promise, and does not have God in it. If we do something in this way, no matter how well we handle the matter, God considers it to be a sin because we are independent from Him.
Mankind fell when Adam and Eve sinned the first time, when they ate of the wrong fruit. The source of this matter was in their acting apart from God. Their acting in this way was their independence from God. If eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge had been God’s command, it would not have been a sin. The first sin of mankind should not be viewed from the perspective of morality. Of course, after man fell, he did numerous immoral deeds. God detests everything that is immoral. Every immoral thing is the result of man’s leaving God. However, man’s first sin was not a matter of morality. The sin that Adam and Eve committed was not fornication, murder, or harming others; it was eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
We must see that the significance of the first sin of mankind is in man’s doing something apart from God. When man sinned, his relationship with God was absent. Man did something by himself; there was no element of God, no relationship with God, and nothing of God’s influence.
Hence, in our living we should often remind ourselves, “Do I have a relationship with God? Does God have an influence on the way I conduct myself?” We should not ask whether something is good or bad, right or wrong. Rather, we need to ask whether God is in it or not. If it is done with the element of God, in a relationship with God, and under God’s influence, it will definitely be good and proper. Many times something may appear to us to be good on the surface, but actually it has the element of sin within it. Satan adopted this method when tempting Adam and Eve. On one hand, Satan told Eve that in the day she ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, her eyes would be opened, and she would become like God, knowing good and evil. On the other hand, he showed her that the fruit was good to eat, good for food, and pleasant to the sight. Thus, Adam and Eve ate the fruit (Gen. 3:5-6). Apparently, the fruit was bright and good, but within it were countless sins. Every sin issued from the eating of that fruit. May all the saints see that whatever man does apart from God is done independently from God, and even if it appears to be bright and good outwardly, it has Satan’s element and is full of darkness and sin inwardly.
A spiritual person may contact a very wide scope of people and things, yet in all his daily living, what he pays attention to is his relationship with God and God’s influence. If a person is empty and does not have God, he will have no way to go on and will not be able to do anything. When we quiet down before God and examine and consider our situation, we cannot but acknowledge this fact. In our dealings with others our temperament is easily exposed. If we are put in a slightly higher position, we become proud; if we are put in a slightly lower position, we complain. Rarely do people fail to have problems with one another after being together for a number of years. Husbands and wives have problems getting along, and after they have children, their arguments increase. This is true also among colleagues and schoolmates. After being together for a while, everyone begins to complain.
In our dealing with others there will always be problems, sometimes more and sometimes less. Our humility causes problems, and our pride causes even more problems. If others treat us with pride, we are not able to handle it; if others treat us with humility, we still are unable to bear it. After getting married, many saints have a similar experience. On one hand, they say that marriage is very good, but on the other hand, husbands and wives always make demands on each other—the husband demands something of the wife and the wife complains about the husband. Man is thus difficult to deal with. Man himself is a problem. The source of this problem is that man has a lack—God. In our dealings with others we need to take God as the regulating factor and the center. If we have God in us as our center, our living will be balanced.
Anyone who drives a car knows that for the car to go faster or slower, there is the need for the driver to regulate the car. Without regulation, the car will get into an accident. In the same way, if man is not regulated, he becomes very peculiar. He will lean one way or the other, and it will be very easy for him to become extreme. For example, when a husband is not regulated, he may either love his wife to an extreme or loathe her. Our life can be compared to music. In order for music to have a pleasant sound, it must be suitably regulated; the fast and slow speeds and the high and low tones must be harmonized. If a piece of music has only one rhythm, it will sound monotonous and unpleasant. A regulated life is like a musical piece that is pleasing to the ear; it is graceful and harmonious. God is man’s regulation. Those who have God are regulated in their living. A living that has been adjusted by God is like a beautiful and pleasant song. Its tempo and pitch are just right. When a person who has God likes something, he is regulated; also, when he dislikes something, he is regulated. His life may be compared to a beautiful musical piece.
When a person who is not regulated loves his wife, he may love her to an extreme. Similarly, when he does not love her, his hatred can reach an extreme. This indicates that his living lacks regulation and balance. Consequently, this person veers off in either one direction or the other. However, the regulation in one’s living should not be by one’s own effort. Man needs God to regulate and balance his living. Many Christians can testify from their experience that whenever they had God, their living was balanced. Whenever they did not have God, their living became imbalanced. If our living has God in it, it will have God’s balancing and regulating. It will be like a steady car, running neither too fast nor too slow. This kind of living is like a soothing musical piece that sounds very graceful and pleasant. Conversely, a day in which we do not have God in our living is a day in which we have many problems.
For example, young people are all concerned with the matter of marriage. Marriage is something that God ordained and even takes delight in. However, we must realize that if God is not the center, our marriage will be imbalanced and will lose its regulation. Sooner or later this kind of marriage will have problems. We have seen many young people who initially loved each other very much and got married. Although they loved each other deeply, because neither of them had God within, it was not long before their love lost its balance and became unregulated. This kind of love is like a horse without a bridle or a car without brakes; it is extremely dangerous. If a husband and wife do not have God’s balancing and regulating, their marriage relationship will be both unpleasant and dangerous. For the sake of appearance, they may not talk about divorce, but they will suffer very much inwardly. This is because they do not have God as the center, balance, and regulation.
In principle, the relationship between a husband and a wife should have God as its center. As a husband loves his wife and as his wife loves him, both of them should pass through God. This passing through God is the balancing, the regulating. A husband may ask, “Exactly how should I love my wife?” When loving his wife, a husband should pray, “O God, do You agree with my loving her in this way?” Before loving our husband or wife, we must be examined and purified by God. Love that has passed through God is pure; it is not only regulated but also balanced. Conversely, if our love has not passed through God, our love may turn into hatred one day. The degree of our love today may be the degree of our hatred in the future. The measure of our love today may be the measure of our suffering later. This may happen because our love has not passed through God, does not have the element of God within it, is not carried out in a relationship with God, and does not have God’s promise. Young people, no matter whom you marry, you must bring this matter before the Lord. You must allow God to have a part in your marriage, and you must develop a relationship with Him. In this way your marriage will be balanced and regulated.