The four Gospels give a clear account of the Lord Jesus’ walk. When the Lord Jesus was on the earth, He denied Himself in all aspects and at all times. Therefore, when we go to perfect home meetings, we must be ones who deny ourselves. To deny ourselves is to not preserve ourselves. For example, some brothers have a natural disposition of seldom opening their mouths. No matter what other people say, they keep their mouths shut. Although for many years in the church we have been taught that our being must be broken and that our self, whether good or bad, must be dealt with, this teaching is still useless to brothers like this. They are not willing to deny themselves and open their mouths. If brothers of this kind go to perfect home meetings, they will definitely have no success because they have not come out of themselves. They have not come out of their disposition.
Disposition is the negative aspect of our self, a self that is not good. There may be no particular matter that is wrong in this kind of self, but when everyone else is burning in spirit, a person with a quiet disposition is “fireproof,” even “fire extinguishing.” If this kind of person goes to visit or perfect home meetings, there will be no impact, because he has not denied himself. Therefore, if we wish to go to someone’s house and perfect the home meeting there, we first need to be persons who deny ourselves. We need to lay down our disposition and blend with others. In this way, we are no longer the same as we were. Rather, we have changed. To be changed means that we have denied ourselves. A quiet person thinks that silence is very good, but if he always remains silent, he has not denied himself. That silence will kill people. Others have a lively and active disposition. The more lively and active such a one is, the more he kills others. Only if he calms down can anyone else survive and stay living. In the Bible to forsake the self also means to deny oneself, to go against oneself. This is what we refer to when we speak of bearing an anti-testimony. This anti-testimony is a testimony of going against oneself. If we go out every day, bearing an anti-testimony and going against our disposition, we will succeed.
In fact, giving ourselves to others means that we are changed. When we go to perfect home meetings, we must be changed. Those who prefer laughing need to learn how to weep, while those who prefer weeping need to learn how to laugh. Those who do not speak need to keep speaking; those who speak too much must begin to keep silent. This is giving oneself to others. For example, some brothers pray very fervently and freely in the meetings. However, when we go to perfect home meetings, we should never do this. If we are too fervent and released, we will frighten people away. We must learn to observe the situation and follow the Holy Spirit. We should not allow ourselves to speak, call a hymn, sing, or proclaim casually.
The first person in the New Testament who went against Himself was the Lord Jesus. We see from the Gospels that when people were burning, the Lord was very calm, and when people were silent, He rose up to take action. This often disturbed the disciples, because they did not understand. In John 11:1-16, when Lazarus was sick and about to die, his sisters Martha and Mary sent people to beg the Lord Jesus to come to them quickly. Perhaps the disciples also urged Him, asking Him to go quickly to heal Lazarus. However, the Lord Jesus did not move. This must have puzzled the disciples. The Lord Jesus had always loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. He also had performed many miracles and healed many people on His way. However, when His friend was sick, He appeared indifferent. Why was this? He first remained in the place where He was for two days and then told the disciples that He wanted to go and see Lazarus. This puzzled the disciples even more. If He had wanted to go, why had He not gone earlier? At that time there may have been a chance for Lazarus to live. Now that Lazarus had died, what was the purpose of going? Furthermore, the Lord Jesus was far away across the Jordan, but Lazarus lived in Judea near Jerusalem, where the Jews were planning to kill Him. Yet the Lord Jesus did not care; He insisted on going to see Lazarus. Although the disciples had an opposite opinion, they could only accompany Him and plan to die with Him. In the Gospels the Lord Jesus was often like this, going against Himself.
When we go to perfect the home meetings, we need to be persons who counter ourselves. Once we counter ourselves, our spirit will come out, the Lord will come out, and we will have the way. Throughout our living we pray often. When we pray, we frequently have the experience that the feeling within is leading us to counter ourselves, that is, to hate ourselves. However, not more than five minutes after our prayer our old way and old self come out again, and we remain the same. Then when the time comes to go to perfect the home meetings, we still rely on ourselves. Therefore, we need to guard our praying spirit all the time, the spirit that goes against ourselves. For example, we may not feel happy for the whole day, but we may still need to go to perfect a home meeting in the evening. If we do not counter our self, we will be an unhappy person going to perfect the home meeting. How can such an unhappy person perfect a home meeting? In order to perfect a home meeting, we must counter our self, at least our unhappy self, to become a person who rejoices in the Lord. In this way we can perfect the home meeting.
Some people often ask why their work has no effect. Their work has no effect because they are too much in themselves. When they give messages, they are in themselves, and when they speak with others, they are in themselves. Eventually, the Lord cannot do anything. We need to counter our self. It is only by countering our self that we can give ourselves to others as a clean person. Once we counter ourselves, we become clean. If we do not counter ourselves, our whole being is full of germs. As a result, although we have given ourselves to others, what we have given is a filthy, old man. If we have read the four Gospels carefully, we will see that when the Lord Jesus worked, He went against Himself. Those who have read the Acts and the Epistles will also see that many saints, especially Paul, were also such persons. Once they began working, they all countered themselves. Therefore, they could deny themselves and become the supply for others, and their work was able to have a genuine impact.
More than fifty years ago there was an evangelist, John Sung, who was very powerful in gospel preaching. In 1933 he went to my hometown to preach the gospel. During one meeting we were all sitting there waiting for the meeting to begin. Suddenly he came in singing, “Down with sin, down with sin; out with the devil, out with the devil.” At that time, as the national army was moving north to fight against the foreign nations and warlords, the army was singing, “Down with foreigners, down with foreigners; out with warlords, out with warlords.” John Sung adopted the tune of that song, changed the lyrics, and began to sing them as he entered the meeting. As soon as he entered the meeting singing, others followed his singing. Eventually, everyone was singing freely and everyone was released. By the time he went to the podium to deliver his message, it was very easy for him to speak. When we go to perfect home meetings, we need to start singing hymns while we are still at home and bring a joyful spirit to the meeting to continue the singing there. In this way, in the homes that we visit the whole family will surely become vital and functioning. This is what is meant by giving ourselves to others.
We all have had this kind of experience. Our natural person does not like to read the Bible and fellowship with the Lord. However, we are now persons who counter ourselves. Not only do we like to fellowship with the Lord, but we also are willing to read the Bible, pray, sing hymns, give praises, and release our spirit. This is because the Lord is within us and makes us willing to counter ourselves. If we all counter ourselves in this way, we will be able to perfect any home we visit. The kind of persons we are determines the persons whom we can perfect. Time and again we can go to visit the homes and perfect the ones there. Eventually, they will spontaneously speak what we speak and do what we do. This is the perfecting of the home meetings.